[Elijah's transcription of his conversation with his psychologist]
PSYCHOLOGIST: Welcome to my office, Elijah. Would you care to relax on the sofa -- or sit in the chair?
ELIJAH: Greetings, master of nonsensical hyperbole. I think I will just stand over here next to the window in case I get the urge to jump.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Suit yourself. I only want you to feel good about yourself.
ELIJAH: Why are you are wearing that silly scarf around your neck?
PSYCHOLOGIST: This scarf keeps me warm. I have a slight cold.
ELIJAH: Why don't you just turn up the heat?
PSYCHOLOGIST: I try to conserve energy. Waste not, want not.
ELIJAH: To each his own. But why do you wear a silly scarf with all of those weird colored green dots with yellow stripes?
PSYCHOLOGIST: I'm sentimental. It was a gift.
ELIJAH: From a patient?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Yes. It was handmade just for me.
ELIJAH: Does your patient have psychological problems?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Of course. All of my patients have psychological problems. Isn’t that why you are here?
ELIJAH: No, Ma'am. My reason for coming was to see if you could explain why AOL members have so much trouble understanding a prophet of God.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Are you a prophet of God?
ELIJAH: Well, that’s how I try to identify myself for idiots who think I'm crazy.
ELIJAH: Why not? If I told idiots that I am the incarnated biblical Elijah who was sent by God to test the faith of the world -- and that I was trying to unite families before Jesus comes to catch away loyal souls, they wouldn’t understand. Idiots think stupidity is sacred. Idiots do not hesitate to call me insane -- because I do not fit into their limited view of reality.
PSYCHOLOGIST: How does that make you feel?
ELIJAH: Disappointed in people -- and frustrated.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you think you are insane?
ELIJAH: Actually, the word “insane” needs to be defined from my perspective before I can appease antagonists by answering. To me, to be “insane” is to be abnormal. In this world, being “abnormal” is “normal” for most people -- and so, obviously, I think that most people are "insane" -- even though they accept themselves as “sane.” Certain forms of “insanity” can result from chemical imbalances within the biological system -- which does not allow for healthy bodily functions in thought or movement. Also, “insanity” can be the result of demonic influences -- which causes inner conflicts between a soul and body. Bad “ideas” can distort reality and cause people to do irrational, "abnormal" things. In spite of your psychological terms -- which seem so scientific, at the very core of all people is a “soul” -- dominated by either good or bad spirits. The brain is only a conduit through which spiritual forces from a soul can be manifested in this materialistic dimension of Life. Each person, therefore, is subservient to either God or Satan. In my case, I am subservient to God -- and this makes my thoughts and behavior very “abnormal” in a world where many people are subservient to Satan. So, when I am speaking Truth in this place where deception is dominant, it seems like “insanity” to those who do not understand true reality.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, you admit to being insane?
ELIJAH: Of course! But I am insane only on Planet Earth. Even though I have freedom of choice, I will not choose your "normal” way of thinking just to conform myself to evil idiots.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you think I am an idiot?
ELIJAH: What do you think?
PSYCHOLOGIST: I think I am intelligent.
ELIJAH: What “normal” earthly thought process allowed you to reach that conclusion?
Elijah, Music City Revival 40 Comments
[12/18/2005 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5