[In responce to an article about a town using, among other things, hog manure to generate their own energy. A fundie who happens to be a pig farmer responds with a bizarre post.]
Is this some way of saying that me and the piggies are going to be the heros of the energy crisis? Well, well, well.
Here you go WD, we can now use the theory of evolution to solve the energy crisis! So now the theory of evolution is not about evolution, but a TRUTH on aiding the energy crisis. This is how the simple pig farming thesis/process will work. First, I will have all theory of evolution gibbergabber mailed to me. Second, I will feed it to the piggies. Third, I will let those theories "evolve"(get it evolve) into pigshit. And I(well not "I", the deep bowels of the piggies) even got it to go from one form of existance into another, how sweet is that! Where are those pesky creationist now! Huh?! We dont hear one word from them, humph figures. We (pig farmer and science) have proven the "theory of evolution" does exist, and how "theory of evolution" emerged from a gob of goo(in this case pigshit) and evolved(I will make sure evolve/evolution get full credit) into energy/fuel. GOD?! HA! INDEED! Well GOD may have created the pig and man, but where was He when the "theory of evolution" evolved into pigshit? HMMM? How about you, confused? Me and WD just theorized an idea into an absolute truth. Cant forget the Fourth process, then we convert the pigshit into fuel and solve the pinch at the gasoline tank. WOW!
Does this make me a *sniff*, dare I say, a a a scientist?! OR maybe if this thesis pans out, a Doctor. I'll even let the Chinese beauties call me Docker. Dr.Mr. Coulter, and I did not even go to college. I can use my new fortune to finance a phD course at the local community college, I will target the poor and minorities of course. We will have basic readin', writin', and rithmaticin' ciriculum to give us validation, you know. WE will have advanced degrees in shredding the "theories of evolution", litteraly shredding with a paper shredder, so the pigs can easily consume them. And whittling, gots to do sumptin while them pig bowels are evolutioning. And of course the proper pronuciation in hollaring "sue ee". Let me demonstrate, it is not "sue ee", no, no. It is "Sue EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Comes and git yer theories!" Just think, with Dr. liscences more easily attainded, when those libbys come and profess gibbergabber with their elite educational credentials, we can have an army respond with "Nah uh" and flash their Dr. badge. Also, proper pumping of poo will have to be taught. From now on the poo truck will no longer be called the "honey wagon", no sir. It is now officially the "MONEY WAGON"! Hey, hey bling, bling. Oh, and for those who are too lazy to complete the semester it takes to become a doctor, we can have a 2 nit seminar on becoming a scientist by teaching folks how to feed "theories of evolution" to pigs. If the pompous educational field raises a stink(get it) with them being credited as scientists, we will graduate them as evolutionists. The Christianity will be taught free of charge.
Yes, and when you cruise the Illinois countryside with your $0.25/gallon gasoline and you get a whiff from that south wind, you can now be proud! For that whiff is the "theory of evolution" evolving into TRUTH. Now Jerry, WD we are in an alliance. The Christian Evolutionists! Ta da!
Mr. Coulter, God or Science 63 Comments
[7/10/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
Submitted By: Donald Keyballs