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Quote# 14578

Top Ten Signs you're a dumbass atheist:

10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society.
9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way.
8. You criticize Christians who don't know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin's texts.
7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.
6. You can't seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)
5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question.
4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic.
3. You don't realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics.
2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF.
1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you. You're like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets. Clap. Clap.

Clap.

Agent C2H6O, fark 171 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14577

[IIRC, Gould does an excellent job of explaining the Cambrian Explosion.]

Um....no, actually, he doesn't.

/yes, I actually read Gould.
//while studying at a BIBLE college
///we work on these things called Critical Thinking Skills.

piscis ferox, fark 19 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Huffers
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14576

You forgot some other practices that have been developed through Darwinism:

Communism, Nazism, Racism, Atheism, Materialism, Amoralism, Scientism, Pantheism, Monopolism, Anarchism, Social Darwinism, Freudianism, abortion, drug culture, promiscuity, eugenics, genocide, chauvinism, bestiality, Satanism to name a few.

Geatz, Christian Forums 40 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Alejandro
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14573

There are 6 known dimenions:

Length
Breadth
Height
Time

Energy

Matter

I heavily guess that there is a 7th dimension... why?

Cause God does things in 7's.

skynes, Panheads 78 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14572

Yes Yoga and all that stuff is of the occult because they teach eastern meditation and opens you up to all kinds yucky spirits. Tai Chi a formof martial arts is too. To be honest I do no think the physical exercises are the issue but the spiritual aspect of meditation and hynoptic emptying of the mind while practicing them. It is best torun from any place or church that has a hint of any of this. I think very few christians are even aware how much the occult and gnosticism has infiltrated churches.

1LikeDeborah, Christian Forums Net 31 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14569

I had an encounter with a demon about 8 years ago. I stayed in a Motel room when I was living in sin with my girlfriend. I came in the door after midnight after work. My girlfriend was drunk as usual and told me that she had been entertaining a lost soul. I did not believe in such things so I just went to bed. I felt eeire, so I went in the other room to sleep. While I was trying to go to sleep, I got scared, so I prayed to Jesus for a safe sleep. I then had a complete peace that came over me. Then I heard my girlfriend praying to God to bring peace to this lost soul. Then I got a vision of this demon. It was not a lost soul! It was black and had fangs and claws. It was growing because of her lack of faith in God's judgement. She thought that she could pray this being into Heaven. As she was praying, I saw this horrible thing hovering over her. It was feeding off of her lack of belief. She believed in God and Jesus, but she had some false Catholic teachings. I warned her to stop, but she got mad at me and continued to pray. I knew that this Beings name was the Deceiver. He was deceiving her! I fell to sleep and by the next morning, I had to rush her to the ER! They told me that her vitals were dropping and that she was dying. I prayed with her in the room, but she did not accept or believe my prayers and my theology. I could not blame her since I was not living the life. She then asked for a Priest, but there was none around, so they sent a Chaplin. She prayed the exact same prayer that I did and my girlfriend trusted her, so she was completely delivered and she was released just a couple hours later!

Apostle Jeff, Yahoo! Answers 40 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14568

i was once visited by 2 saints i was praying to while i was sick n i was asking them to help me , n when i was healed with a miracle as the doctor said " u were survived in this operation by a miracle , how did u wait all this , go n thank god " , they visited me this night after the operation n asked me if i am OK now ?

that was a great experience .

who k, Yahoo! Answers 41 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14566

would any of you atheist like to wipe my butt?
that's about all your good for. by the way, you better get used to it because that's what hell might be like, atheists wiping us christian peoples butt. HA HA HA. ENJOY IT YOU BURNERS.

mr_master_of_domain, Yahoo! Answers 51 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14564

Ah, the "altruist" seems so heartfelt.

But without the blood of Jesus, we are nothing, spirits headed headlong into hell, never seeing the darkness, the eternal darkness that waits for our sinful souls.

This is the worldly philanthropist outlook, people who think that by some certain work we'll enter heaven. Perhaps helping loved ones, or others, giving, etc. that that will satisfy our condition. But the fact remains that we are more than our bodies, and something will happen to our spirits when we die.

I'm laughing at the remarks about the Old Testament not applying anymore; ridiculous. The prophecies of old fulfill right before our very eyes, but the scales hide the truth from some. The Old Testament law is just as true today as yesterday; our God never changes.

I'm amused at the reference to Job; probably the oldest book of the Bible, that it is referred to as in "the middle", but Job is so real today, it seems like the lessons learned must have been cut out for just this generation!

As for "the good life being one inspired by love and knowledge"; I would only say 'tis true friend; but something's missing. Virtually every person ever born has affection for family, and pursues worldly knowledge. In that case, even Hitler had this form of "love" and "knowledge".

The search for God's Love and knowledge will eventually lead one to the Truth, the Way, the Life; that is Jesus. No search for Love or knowledge is complete without God's Son.

We cannot know true Love, nor Wisdom, without Jesus in our hearts.


JoeSaebi, Christian Forums 20 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14563

umm, what is your point? That is all crap? lets say that I am in the medical field, which I am. What we think is right changes every few minutes. This is a fact, research this point. I do not understand the point at all, and no I am not stupid Evolution has been found wanting. What created everything? No matter what you say, you have to have a creator. I wonder what the agenda is behind this? I have studied it a great deal on my way to becoming a nurse, it is like let me close my eyes to this part. Is the missing link is still missing? Where are all these fossils of humans from 1 million b.c.?


TheWakeUpCaller, Christian Forums 34 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14562

Timlamb you are so right on everything you have posted. I totally agree with you, you can find evidence for anything that you want to believe. Is evolution a fact? Was my gre----at grand-dad an ape? Why are there still apes? I just wanna know if I wait 1 million years will my toyota turn into a merecedes? Is there a way to speed this up? Am I being smart? Nope. I think it all comes down to a heart matter, and what you want. I believe that if you want truth, you will find it. By the way, how can I make my pet rock, come alive? non-living matter into living matter. Why is this so simple for a child. but so hard for the super-educated? I used to make things fit my lifestyle, I do not do that anymore, and I have really been shown alot since then. I am not attacking anyone here, just making a point which I am sure is useless. Oh yeah I am educated if that is what you want to call it. May God open all of our eyes....michael

TheWakeUpCaller, Christian Forums 31 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14561

I really don't want to get started on atheists, at least not on this thread (that would be hyjacking). But it sounds like you have met a much kinder atheist than I. I have found them all to be quite self centered and self absorbed. They pick up on causes, sure; but it is painfully obvious that they value earthly life so highly, because they believe this is all there is. And not much is worth dying for. Although many atheists have little tolorance for their perception of evil.

Atheists do have a tendency to be more civic minded than Christians, but mostly in an attempt to find meaning and beauty in life. "Those who Love this life will lose it".

What you are discribing seems to more closely fit those I know with a more "Pantheistic" view. They set a high moral standard in support of all life. They also are willing to condone any moral battle if it has an objective for the greater good. As in protecting "Mother earth" and all life to the extent of sacrificing life.

timlamb, Christian forums 32 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14557

I have gotten the evolution thing for forty years (I'm48) I grew up on National Geographic specials, and I bought it hook line and sinker, until I compared it to genesis, and both can't be true, so I choose Genesis.

timlamb, Christian Forums 45 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14537

I wouldn't play a game called stump the Christian. I'd play a game called Increase the Faith in Jesus. Then instead of 'defending' the faith, you can use the word of God as a sword, 'attacking'

JamesSager3, Christian Forums 33 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14531

[What if it's magic produced by a CGI tech's computer?]


"it's still magic whether it's pixels or real-life
the same spirits behind them both"

JosephD3000, Christian Forums 34 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14528

The only way the west will survive is if it embraces Christianity, real Christianity (not the lesbian ordaining varity), again.

OnTheWay, Christian Forums 24 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: UberLutheran
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14527

There are plenty of stories of women in labor losing their tempers, shrieking and cursing, and generally doing things that they wouldn’t dream of doing at any other time. And most of these stories are true. When a woman is in child labor, somewhere inside, someone turns the volume on her heart all the way up and plugs in four amps. What may have been just a murmur of discontent under ordinary circumstances turns into a deafening shriek in the delivery room. Put another way, the pregnant woman is about to have a number of people come and visit her heart; and this company is going to see how well she has kept her heart in order. . . . Bitterness, when given the chance, will spring up and defile many. It is the sort of sin that easily pollutes others. If a woman goes into labor and has any sort of bitterness within her, it is a fairly certain thing that the delivery room will see this bitterness springing up and causing trouble.

Ben Merkle, Greyfriar's Hall 57 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14526

I only saw Lotr felowship of the ring(the first one)
and i started sweating bad!! i felt heat all over me
i knew something demonic was in it.
needless to say i never watched the 2nd and third Lotr

JosephD3000, Christian Forums 49 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Mandrake
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14525

<a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/jesuscamp/trailer/" target="_blank">Trailer for the upcoming documentary "Jesus Camp." I look forward to it.</a>

Jesus Camp Trailer, Apple Trailers 22 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Jeremy
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14521

Ask any doctor, scientist, faith healer or soothsayer to bring back a dead man to life, or ask the doctor how it can be that someone stops breathing. Find out why none of them can rescuscitate a human back to life. If there wasn't a soul, then why can't they bring back that force of life?

~*Dagger Trepe*~, Eyes on Final Fantasy 37 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Raistlin
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14519

We don't except God because the illusion of the world and mankind will not allow us. Only by reading and hearing about God's word will you understand everything. Saying that religious people are plain and don't think outside of the box is certainly untrue.

"Faith is embedded in hope and is the predecessor to sight. It envisions the impossible and accepts the incredible."

That statement proves that not only do we think outside of box, we think outside of the illusional world of ours to seek the truth. We do not belive that our minds, hearts, bodies and souls were simply accents. When we feel pain in our chest, that doesn't come from the brain. It comes from the heart, where the soul rests. When you get feelings inside, your head doesn't hurt. Your heart and soul feel those things, not your brain.

So saying we are ignorant to reality is really crap. We are taking reality and moving it aside to see the truth of the universe and all it's beauty, because I don't belive everything on this beautiful earth was accidental.

*~Dagger Trepe~*, Eyes on Final Fantasy 16 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Raistlin
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14518

[on why God had to have written the Bible]

But think about it, who is smart enough to write the Holy Bible? The answer, no one.

[...]

How could people back then have written words with such intellegence? We were not very educated back then, we all know. So tell me, how could people back ages ago could have written the bible?

*~Dagger Trepe~*, Eyes on Final Fantasy 85 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Raistlin
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14515

["But what is faith, Carico? Is it belief in the bible? That is definitely not what I have found faith to be."]

"It certainly isn't faith in our own imaginations! That's what atheists do. They think that if they believe something then that makes it true."

Carico, CARM.org 30 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14514

And since Jesus was the first true fundamentalist and he was killed, then those who stand up for his word the most (fundamentalist) will be treated the same way he was as he tells us we will be and this forum shows.

Carico, CARM.org 31 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14513

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0FMZiEmM14" target="_blank">Bizzare preacher lady wants to give you a Holy Spirit emema</a>.

Suzanne Harthern, Youtube 22 Comments [9/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: Zipperback
WTF?! || meh
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