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Quote# 14403

I think 1-12 grade could be taught out of the book of Job. I truly do. I am a doctor of metaphysics and feel as if it is my duty to let the world know of the invisible things of life. i.e the spirit. But, God is great and it was Him who created all that is, and he did it with His powers. Our science is only products of His greatness. I want many to read here some excerpts from Job. It is great, smart, and right on the dime, and was more than 4000 years ahead of our scienctific age.

Thadd, bibleforums.org 29 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14402

1. The Bible says that God stretched out the heavens. What does this mean to you guys? 2. We know how fast light travels on Earth, but there is gravity here, and light is affected by gravity. They actually have no clue how fast light travels in the vacuum of space, so what does that do to your theory?

KennethDCollins, bibleforums.org 30 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14401

[A conversation that would supposedly happen between an exorsist and a possessed person]

Demon: I'm not coming out...
Exorcist: What are your legal grounds?
Demon: I don't have to tell you anything...
Exorcist: Yes you do, I command you to tell me what your legal grounds are in Jesus' name.
Demon: Stop saying that name...
Exorcist: Tell me in Jesus' name...
Demon: Shut up
Exorcist: The Lord Jesus rebukes you...now tell me your legal grounds
Demon: all right, all right, just stop saying that name...I've been in his family for 6 generations...his ancestors were lazy and I've kept them lazy for 6 generations
Exorcist: Well, I break the curse of laziness going back 10 generations on both sides of his family in Jesus' name
Demon: Nooooooooooo!!!!!! You can't do that...I've worked so hard...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (lunges at exorcist while cursing and gritting his teeth...eyes are bloodshot and bulging)
Exorcist: I BIND YOU IN JESUS' NAME...You don't have permission to move a muscle...I break every curse of laziness on both sides of his family going back 10 generations in Jesus' name.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOO!!!! We're going to kill him first and then you!!!!
Exorcist: No you aren't, I cancel those plans in Jesus' name. Now make your way to where the Lord Jesus is commanding you to go.
Demon: NO, I refuse!!!
Exorcist: Okay, angels, show this demon who's boss. Let's sprinkle the blood of Jesus on all his family lines in both directions...through his ancestors and his descendants. Let's also clear up the lines of his siblings and their descendants.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! You can't...I can't believe you did that...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Exorcist: For good measure, let's hit slothfulness as well in Jesus' name
Demon: You *@@#%*!!!! (attempts to lunge at exorcist again but stops cold in his tracks as the Holy Spirit is holding him in place) You are so lucky those angels are holding me...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Exorcist: Enough with your nonsense, it's time to go...I loose the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit to consume you.
Demon: NOOOOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! (Demon leaves, victim slouches in the chair or onto the floor totally limp)
Exorcist: Father, I ask that you now restore this person and reverse the effects of the sin in his life.
Victim: What just happened?
Exorcist: How do you feel?
Victim: I feel so light...like a weight got lifted off of me...wow...I feel free...
Exorcist: (with a smile on his face) That's because you are...Praise the Lord!

As you can see from this dialog, its not mental illness. This is an intelligent conversation and with something that believes it has a right to maintain residence within the victim.

Comforter, WaroftheAngels.org 89 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Garret
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14400

COMFORTER,
TODAY, AFTER READING A BOOK CALLED "PORTALS TO CLEANSING" BY DR. HENRY MALONE, I DECIDED I NEEDED TO HAVE MY ANIMALS DELIVERED AS WELL. I STARTED WITH MY CAT. I HAVE ALREADY ANOINTED THEM AND PLED THE BLOOD OVER THEM, BUT I DECIDED THEY NEEDED A DELIVERANCE AS WELL.
I ANOINTED HER WITH OIL IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. THEN I DEDICATED HER TO THE LORD. THEN I BEGAN THE DELIVERANCE. AS SOON AS I TOLD THE EVIL FORCES TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, THE CAT DID TOO ! SHE RAN FROM ME AND HID. THEN, SHE RAN TO THE DOOR. SHE LOOKED FRIGHTENED. SO, LOOKING HER IN THE EYE, AND BEING ABLE TO TELL THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE BESIDES HER, I COMMANDED THEM TO LEAVE HER BODY IMMEDIATELY AS SHE IS DEDICATED TO JESUS CHRIST AND HIS PROPERTY. I LET HER OUTSIDE AND SHE YAWNED...WHICH IS AN INDICATION THEY ARE LEAVING. SHE STAYED OUTSIDE, DESPITE THE WIND BLOWING HARD. THEN, AFTER ABOUT 10-15 MINUTES SHE CAME BACK IN. SHE SEEMS DIFFERENT. IN A GOOD WAY. I GUESS THE DOG IS NEXT.
COMFORTER, ANY THOUGHTS OR ADVICE?

Guest, War of the Angels 157 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 19
Submitted By: Strife Coltrane
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14397

Neo-darwinism is truly a National disgrace. I do not say this as a cheap attempt at an insult. I say it with all honesty. Satan -- with the help of his little red-headed, mental-terrorist step-child (Charles Darwin) -- has turned this great nation upside-down. A small percentage of atheistic intelligence bandits have somehow managed to manipulate their way into the hearts and minds of the general population.

And this has been done though large-scale, mind-numbing, brainwashing techniques that have convinced a large portion ofAmerica that dumb creatures have evolved into intelligent ones. They have succeeded in convincing many that a tricycle can evolve into the space shuttle through blind and purposeless mutations guided by the mere notion that animals actually breed and have offspring. They have dumbed-down
society to the point where many people actually believe this stuff....people actually believe that the only differences between sweaty, bug-picking monkeys and humans are short arms and opposable thumbs. They think the difference between a hippo and a dolphin is just a series of random mutations that reshape the body. Little gets mentioned about how and where a dolphin's sonar came from.

supersport, Christian Forums 68 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: David
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14396

So did God Create the Heavens and the Earth, or did mutations create the Heavens and the Earth? It has to be one or the other, it can not be both.

JohnR7, Christian Forums 34 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: -1
Submitted By: David
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14386

I"m in the same boat also. Health problem and Demons. Both are getting better though thru the grace of the Lord. Every Christian I know seems to have major problems. For the past year. Oddly enough, those who have no accepted Christ seem not to have problems. The Lord is probibly getting us ready for something.


Man4Jesus, Rapture Ready 42 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
Submitted By: Nickstr5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14385

[Reply to ERV evidence supporting evolution...]

First of all the ERVs don't interest me in the slightest, it's like geology and radiometric dating, it doesn't mean anything to me.

Mark Kennedy, Christian Forums 44 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 14380

Evangelist preacher Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle.

But he drowned after walking out to sea from a beach in the capital Libreville in Gabon, west Africa.

One eyewitness said: "He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus.

"He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat.

"He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back."

Franck Kabele, DailyRecord 99 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 10
Submitted By: Lasagne
WTF?! || meh
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