If I was President of the United States, I would _____________________
* Carve out a section of northern California (approximately half of the state) and make it a gay Reservation. Current residents would be given assistance to vacate and all professed homosexuals throughout the country would be ordered to relocate. Homosexuals who refuse would be jailed.
* Have war protesters labeled. Each year, they would pay higher taxes, have wages garnished, and their ability to obtain credit, grants, etc would be affected by the label.
* Make it so that foreigners seeking citizenship would have to pass a tough english language examination. If you can't speak proper english, then you can not be an American citizen.
* Impose strict curfew laws on Iraqi citizens. Anyone violating the laws would be shot on the spot. Reason: war!
* Raise taxes on the wealthy
* Make it so that to receive assistance, welfare recipients would be required to take scholastic and technical examinations each month. Upon successfully passing the examination, the recipient would receive his/her assistance. Training for the monthly examination would be provided via volunteer tutors who recieve tax breaks for committing a number of hours per year to teach the poor in their particular field of work. After receiving credit for so many examinations, the poor could then use that credit to apply for jobs. Employers would be forced to hire a certain number of these applicants else pay a higher tax.
* Those who own two or more houses would be encouraged to take in a homeless person for 6 six months out of a year. By doing so, they receive a significant tax break.
* Capital punishment would be required by all states under a new ammendment to the constitution. Due Process would be adjusted. No more long years of waiting on death row. Invisible executions (out of the public eye) would be a thing of the past. Public executions would return. Lethal Injection would be done away with and replaced with swift public crucifixion and electrocution. I would create a channel called the Exocution Channel, so that idiots who glamor in crime can see "why" it doesn't pay.
* Child support laws would be re-adjusted. Women would have to pay taxes on child support. Men can deduct a percentage of child support payed to women who earn over $40,000.
* Blacks, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, etc would no longer be labeled with the terminology "minority". This term was established by racist caucasian and in the last century became part of mainstream speech. However, it's context has no justification nor place in modern society, nor can it be adequately argued why particular races of people are labeled minority, while only a single race is labled majority.
Royal_Priest, CARM.org 93 Comments
[3/18/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 16