Quote# 55152

(from the "Are they ready for this" thread - a fantasy about Barack Obama addressing the world after Michelle Obama attempts suicide because her daughters disappear in the rapture):

BREAKING NEWS ALERT: "Ladies and Gentleman...citizens of the USA and THE WORLD....I stand before you a broken man.....normal protocol in more certain times would allow for myself to keep all personal issues relating to the welfare of my young precious daughters in the utmost of secrecy...But I and my wife ...like all of you have suffered loss at this most destressful time. Both our daughters like hundreds of thousands of you and your children and family members are MISSING and that revelation was more than my wife could bear...and as it has been reported in the last 12 hours my wife made a vain attempt to end her life'' "thankfully that attempt failed and she is with her physician and her mother recovering" "Our spiritual mentor Reverend Wright is by her side as well"

"And as such I have taken the liberty to speak with him privately leading upto this address ...I also have spoken with several other spiritual advisors and we have conferred that due to the reckless attempts of many to suggest that somehow this was an event relegated to a select group of people in this multi cultural world is both narrow minded and prejudicial and at a time such as this I will neither tolerate nor standby as in the position and authority I have I find it paramount to take this opportunity to silence all voices of hate and bigotry" "So effective immediately during this time of declared Martial Law I am instituting a moratorium of any mention of what is being called The Rapture" "it will be equal to hate speech and the prosecution of such crimes will be severe and swift"

SoundingtheAlarm, RaptureReady 66 Comments [1/3/2009 2:40:16 AM]
Fundie Index: 6

Quote# 55419

I hope it is not wrong to get excited when there seems to be increased earthquake activity....but I feel like saying, "All right God, let's get this party started rocking".....

cocopea9052, Rapture Ready 40 Comments [1/3/2009 2:13:25 AM]
Fundie Index: 4

Quote# 55213

science is wrong. It's morally corrupted it's not good. Its' a lie. Science doesn't' work.

what about all those people science murdered with the atomic bomb?

when you can't expalin something you just say "O science will explain it some day."

science is nothing but a bunch of big pretense. you cant' prove your science, your science has no facts to suppor it.

How you come and show me your play facts that prove scinece and I'll show you how argument from incredulity works. OK>? I refuse to believe science not matter waht the evidence. and any evidence you give me I can make go away by being incredulous about it.

but now show me some evdience becasue there's no evidence for your science.

this is the basic argument I see being made all down the board. Just switch he names. Instead od sience you say historical evdience and logic support belief. but tis' the same argument. I refuse to believe regardless of how well it's proven.

Now I will demonstrate how your game works. I can fend off any scientific evidence you throw at me because I refuse to ever give it any kind of crediecne at all. as long as you refuse to give the other side a fair hearing you hold out this self righteous pretense that you have some mysterious truth that backs you for a long time.

Metacrock, CARM 57 Comments [1/3/2009 2:02:24 AM]
Fundie Index: 8
Submitted By:

Quote# 55274

The problem with Christians is people like yourself, who live a life devoted to worming your way around the truth because you don't like it.

You're so deluded. Left to his own ways, man is destructive, wicked, murderous and lustful. Man does not evolve morals. He rejects them.

NephilimFree, YouTube 23 Comments [1/3/2009 1:09:12 AM]
Fundie Index: -1

Quote# 55469

I get reports on casualties from the Bagdad Prayer Patrol. they have shown that since people have been praying for Bagdad, the police and people there, casualties have consistently gone down. It began getting better about 2 months into their prayer patrol! Wow!!! The power we have been given thru prayer

LookingUplinda, Rapture Ready 55 Comments [1/2/2009 10:11:47 PM]
Fundie Index: 2

Quote# 55205

I don't know much about Mithraism, but I do know that Christianity can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Below are basic "facts" that show this. I am sure the same can't be said for Mithraism or any other religion. Hope it helps!

1 – Proving the Existence of God
A. Humans Know Right from Wrong
1. If there was a power outside of the universe, the only way that we could expect it to show itself would be inside ourselves as an influence trying to get us to behave a certain way
2. This is an inherent moral law that directs our instincts
3. The difference between the moral law in different cultures and different times is minimal, so you can recognize the same moral law directing all of them
4. If humans evolved out of single-cell organisms, then they would not have this inherent moral law, which is the case with all other animals
5. Therefore, there must be somebody or something that gave them this sense of right and wrong
B. Uncaused Cause
1. Existence and non-existence cannot both be present
2. Existence is present, therefore non-existence, or nothingness, is not present
3. It is impossible for something to arise from nothing, therefore existence has always been present
4. In existence, there is always a cause for something to occur
5. Since existence has always been present, and causes are required in existence, we can conclude that something must have always been present (uncaused)
6. Based on prevailing scientific opinion, the universe began to exist (i.e. Big Bang Theory)
7. Since the universe began to exist, something that has always been present must have caused it to exist (created it)
i. The creator of the universe must be greater than the universe itself
ii. Based on the design of created things, the creator must have been intelligent (more intelligent than humans, which are the most intelligent creatures on earth)
iii. Based on the diversity of creation, the creator must have been creative
iv. The creator must be eternal, since existence has always been present
v. These are all characteristics of the Christian God

ILJ1917, www.christianforums.com 49 Comments [1/2/2009 9:56:50 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Chris

Quote# 55580

“Top scholars, historians and experts have confirmed that the Bible is the most historically and intellectually reliable ancient text in the whole world, including the Bible’s account of the life and teachings of Jesus Christ and the apostles and disciples who wrote the New Testament documents.”

Conservapedia, Main Page, Conservapedia 56 Comments [1/2/2009 9:50:38 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: Marc

Quote# 55279

[Is that a fapping sound I hear?]

I've heard more than one pastor preach on "There isn't going to be a rapture" - that's why I think it's going to happen on a Sunday morning- and leave a lot of very surprised people behind podiums!

Can't you just imagine -

"There's not going to be a rap....<POOF>"

"Where'd they go?"

"Every time those people tried to tell us this was going to happen you laughed at them."

Daniel1210, RR, who else? 32 Comments [1/2/2009 9:37:18 PM]
Fundie Index: 3

Quote# 55377

[Commenting on the latest round of violence between Israel and Hamas]

I saw this head line on Yahoo and almost started jumping up and down. I'm still at work so I couldn't but my spirit is excited. Is that wrong?

ngraham, RR 80 Comments [1/2/2009 9:33:41 PM]
Fundie Index: 8

Quote# 55502

What the Hell is Atheism and who though it up?

Answer: I totally agree with you, because I know the Lord. The funny thing is that these atheistic scientist are trying hard with a super conductor to find God. And they may just find Him, because He will be showing up shortly.

Jeancommunicates, Yahoo Answers 37 Comments [1/2/2009 9:25:30 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: J Arcenas

Quote# 55358

Why not say disgusting perverted whining abomindable gender retarded sluts rather than mis use a perfectly normal term like gay?

Hitch, CARM 44 Comments [1/2/2009 9:12:25 PM]
Fundie Index: 4

Quote# 55296

[(Previous post:) I hate Christianity it is the worst plague that has ever takes over large parts of the world. Christianity is unnatural and should should be prevented from having a part in society. But PFB don’t feel offended I mean no wrong to Christians just Christianity its ok I still like you.

^^ Feel offended? Exactly.]

Homosexuals are not defined by their homosexuality. I, however, am defined and find my identity in the love of Christ.

Pink_Fuzzy_Bunny, Kongregate forums 26 Comments [1/2/2009 9:08:45 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: norumaru

Quote# 55532

[commenting on a woman who was gang-raped for 45 minutes because she was a lesbian]

I can only hope any one helping this woman checked with your Supreme Court I would hate to see someone sued for gving aid. Would it not surprise anyone that she had this done to herself to get some Prop 8 support. Or maybe the four guys are gay and are hoping to push the same thing. It would not surprise me especially after reading some of these posts.

(Should be filed under "Bigots Say The Darndest Things" but as there's no such board, here it is.)

HatingSocialism, Huffington Post 44 Comments [1/2/2009 8:53:22 PM]
Fundie Index: 10
Submitted By: Damen

Quote# 55413

Well,its proven fact in the bible it says when the jews executed Jesus on the cross they said let his blood be on our childrens children.They put a curse on themselves when they said that.That's what brought about the Holocaust and the killing of all the Jews.Because the Jews rejected God he allowed them to be scattered all over the world and not to be a nation anymore.That was God's judgment upon them but God also said he would restore them as a nation and in 1948 Bible prophesy fulled!

Napslappy, Youtube 33 Comments [1/2/2009 8:53:15 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: DevilsChaplain

Quote# 55731

(Adapted from a book by Ray Comfort. Ruh-roh!)(Also sexual inuendo?)

The banana-the atheist's nightmare.

Note that the banana:
1.Is shaped for human hand
2.Has non-slip surface
3.Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
4.Has a tab for removal of wrapper
5.Is perforated on wrapper
6.Bio-degradable wrapper
7.Is shaped for human mouth
8.Has a point at top for ease of entry
9.Is pleasing to taste buds
10.Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

?, sbea.mtu.edu 63 Comments [1/2/2009 8:27:59 PM]
Fundie Index: 16
Submitted By: Bri

Quote# 55051

Ritualistic Baal worship, in sum, looked a little like this: Adults would gather around the altar of Baal. Infants would then be burned alive as a sacrificial offering to the deity. Amid horrific screams and the stench of charred human flesh, congregants – men and women alike – would engage in bisexual orgies. The ritual of convenience was intended to produce economic prosperity by prompting Baal to bring rain for the fertility of "mother earth."

The natural consequences of such behavior – pregnancy and childbirth – and the associated financial burdens of "unplanned parenthood" were easily offset. One could either choose to engage in homosexual conduct or – with child sacrifice available on demand – could simply take part in another fertility ceremony to "terminate" the unwanted child.

Modern liberalism deviates little from its ancient predecessor.

Matt Barber, WorldNetDaily 36 Comments [1/2/2009 7:59:12 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Frank

Quote# 55376

It doesn't matter what image they have in the churches, it could be Geogre Bush or a Football star. All are images and break the 2nd Commandment.

If someone was grounded in The Bible Basics which is the Commandments then there wouldn't be a problem. The problem is Christianity teaches that The Commandments are not for us but only The Jews. So there you have it, The Devil is the head of Christianity.

THE WORD say's "Keep the Commandments". That also includes The Sabbath.

BlueBaron, PriaonPlanet 29 Comments [1/2/2009 6:47:03 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: ozznova

Quote# 55307

[Title of the link: "Evolution kicks God out of schools, killing rises 1000%."]

Kip Kinkle is the third on the list, in the pic above this one. He even tried to kill the detective that interviewed him.

All these shootings have some things in common:

1) Evolution was taught in every secular school this happened at. You don't see this happening at Christian schools where creation is being taught.

2) The Ten commandments were removed from every secular school. You don't see this happening at Christian schools, where the Ten Commandments still hangs on the wall.

3) There is no moral values about right and wrong being taught at the schools. Christain schools are based on this teaching.

4) Secular schools have books on cults available in their libarary to any student that wants to read it. Christian schools don't have this option.


No moral code, and no God. Produces kids that become adults, that do things in rebellion against society, and their selfs. And some of these things are not reversable, and will leave scars. Scars physically, and mentally.

Issac, Y.E.C. Headquarters 39 Comments [1/2/2009 6:46:55 PM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: M.M.

Quote# 55401

Morally-normal people gain nothing good by heeding sodomite ideas. Sodomites lack all respect due to their immoral homosexuality stain. Liberalism is a vice: Destroying economic freedom by stealing from workers and subverting a nation's body politic. Liberalism is toxic sleeping-gas from the socialistic left. Libertarianism is watered-down liberalism (Kool-Aid). Also, fag-males have XY chromosomes and fag-females have XX. Show the location and composition of the "gay gene sequence".

Jesus4mankind, Youtube 38 Comments [1/2/2009 5:58:56 PM]
Fundie Index: 3

Quote# 55334

Currently, there is an ongoing debate on whether atheism was a causal factor for Friedrich Nietzsche's insanity or whether it was caused purely through disease.

Conservapedia, Conservapedia 38 Comments [1/2/2009 5:55:21 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: Dysken

Quote# 55239

The sinful nature of their hearts masks the rationale that the bible is true and God is real and that what we Christians tell them is ther truth. So they fall into this, "I'm not going to believe in all that stuff, a talking donkey and global flood and all that crap!" because the astounding and bizarre nature of the truth gives them an excuse to point to as reason not to believe, an excuse to bandage their concience with.
And God said He would send strong delusion to seperate the willing from the unwilling. A talking donkey fits that bill beautifully.

nephilim free, You Tube 40 Comments [1/2/2009 5:55:13 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: randomcollision

Quote# 55321

(are atheists jealous of us?)

They do appear to have a burr under their saddle most of the time. I don't know if all the bitterness and pomposity is out of jealousy or purely lack of self-esteem.

Why do I denigrate them for worshiping their surrogate, Obama? Faith-based ideology that it is.

presprintandpub, Ebay Soapbox Discussion Board, post #8 20 Comments [1/2/2009 5:54:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 4

Quote# 55336

I get 99% of all that I pray for. Because of this I am very careful about what I pray for. Sometimes I get things in eerie ways. As an example, I was running trash at the local Native American Powwow. I was completely exhausted, so I prayed for my dad to show up and take me home. I saw him literally 5 minutes later. He must have left right after I prayed.
Another example, my dad signed me up for a flag football game and I really didn't want to play. I prayed that I would get out of it somehow. Strangely the rest of my team showed up late and I didn't have to play.
These examples and many others have convinced me of the power of prayer. To those that get nothing from prayer I think you may be praying incorrectly.

Silviiro, Gamefaqs 43 Comments [1/2/2009 5:54:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: wackadoodle

Quote# 55465

(Re: 5 least useful things learned in school)

My youngest is in 10th grade.

1- Evolution as fact.
2- Homosexual lifestyle acceptance.
3- Any Social Studies or History class that starts off with a lesson on mankind 1,000,000 years ago.

I can't think of any others right now, but I'm sure I would if I gave it some more thought.

Roberta_, iBelieve.com 31 Comments [1/2/2009 5:44:20 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: sooze

Quote# 55301

No, you imbecile asshole. You think that just because we believe in God and respect the teachings of Jesus we have to take up the bullshit your giving us? You want me to be more Christian liek you asshole why don't you start doing it first you hypocritical moron.

Its people liek you that make me disrespect atheists, people with no dignity, clemency, nor respect to anyone rather then themselves.

It's trash like you why these videos start. Also no we don't revel when people mock Jesus, twit.

ogirv101, youtube 26 Comments [1/2/2009 3:47:21 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: kat
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