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Quote# 60726

Last night we were up until nearly 2am ministering to a group of hurting of individuals whom all have severe dissociation. Within one lady a teenage boy part surfaced named, Zane. He had been blind. A demon surfaced named blindness and revealed key information.

“He was blinded when the cult placed needles in his eyes. The cult did this as part of a ceremony and I’ve been here ever since, causing his blindness,” the demon submitted.

I had Zane renounce the ceremonies and the blindness. This vile blindness spirit was expelled and he opened his eyes and could SEE! What’s even better is whom He got to see!!!

Jesus appeared to Zane and comforted this hurting dissociative identity.
_________________

Jay Bartlett, Deliverance Blog 71 Comments [3/20/2009 1:10:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 117
Submitted By: Nausea
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60693

In response to [If Dinosaurs had REALLY lived side by side with human for centuries and into the 1400s, don't you think people would have mentioned it? Fairly often?]

Not at all. You have to remember, dinosaurs were not unusal or special to the people living at the same time as them anymore than elephants or whales are special to us. The people living at the same time as dinosaurs had no idea that in the future, certain people would claim dinosaurs all died out 70 million years ago...it's such an arbitrary and ridiculous idea.

We have soft dinosaur tissue present today and carvings of dinosaurs made in the late 1400's...how would people know what dinosaurs had looked like if they died out 70 million years ago?

knight-in-black-leather, IMDB 94 Comments [3/19/2009 3:24:48 PM]
Fundie Index: 116
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60686

[re: marrying Jesus after the rapture]

the same God who created the entire world in six days by speaking, has been working on the honeymoon chamber for 2000 years now. I don't think we can even imagine or comprehend how amazing this is going to be!


ArkieTuzie, Rapture Ready 118 Comments [3/19/2009 2:57:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 101
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60685

We are going to a wedding soon, and we are going to get new bodies and robes. The robes will be shining white and spotless and our bodies will never grow old or sicken or get dirty....ever.Our bridegroom is the most perfect person in the entire universe.....which He made by the way. He is the most wonderful and mighty and worthy Person to ever live......He is our Lord God Almighty. He chose......us. Can you get your head around that? He chose us to be His beloved. You and me and all the millions of belivers who live or ever lived. He knew us before we were concieved, and chose us. He loved us from the beginning. HE LOVES US. We are his bride, His beloved, and He is getting ready to come for us. We are going to a wedding.........and we are going to marry the King Of Kings,Lord of Lords, The Holy Lamb of God, Jesus Christ our Saviour, the only Son of God. We are going to a wedding, the biggest most beautiful wedding to ever take place..........ever.


caligal, Rapture Ready 98 Comments [3/19/2009 1:38:36 PM]
Fundie Index: 79
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60721

Witch doctors and security forces in Gambia have detained up to 1,000 people on suspicion of being witches, Amnesty International said Wednesday. The Gambian police dismissed the reports as lies. Victims have been held in secret detention camps for up to five days and forced to drink hallucinogenic substances, which have killed at least two people, Amnesty International said in a statement. Quoting an unidentified Gambian described as a witness, the group said that armed paramilitary police officers had surrounded a village and threatened its residents with death if they tried to escape. Then, the person said, hundreds of men and women were forced onto buses at gunpoint and taken to the home area of the president, Yahya Jammeh, where they were stripped and had to drink and bathe in a potion made from toxic herbs.

Unknown (Gambia), New York Times  29 Comments [3/19/2009 1:00:47 PM]
Fundie Index: 46
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60680

Happily, I was a very easy convert [to Quiverfull]. I loved being a mom and having babies.. But I knew that Brendon did not share my views. He worked 60+ hours a week just so I could stay home with our children. He was concerned with house and car payments. But as time went on, I could be silent no longer. I was very hesitant to share my thoughts with him. So I prayed. I prayed that the Lord would prepare his heart for what I had to say. I also prayed that the Lord would give me contentment if Brendon said no more babies. A few days later I felt the Lord give me the okay. I was on my way out of town to a conference for two days. I decided to write him a letter and let him think about it while I was away. I did not want to influence him directly. I truly wanted his conviction to come from God. I gave him this letter as I was backing out of the driveway.

[Long letter]

The Lord is so good. The day I got back from my trip, we never used birth control again.

We Christians are believing lies from the very pit of hell. If we were to list all the reasons why Christians use birth control, we would see that they are the same reasons why a woman aborts her child. The primary reason children are murdered is because they are an inconvenience. Babies interfere with our pursuit of happiness, or Lexus's, swimming pools, careers, 3,000 square foot houses....you get the idea. One of the main reasons why we as the Church have failed to act against abortion is because we have the same anti-child mentality as those who advocate it.

How are we ever going to impact this lost and dying world, if we conform to its standards? Jesus calls us to be peculiar, to be different. How far are we willing to go? We are to crucify ourselves, put to death our own selfish wants and desires.

Nikki Keith, Quiverfull 83 Comments [3/19/2009 11:55:43 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60676

"What an exciting time to be alive." "We are the greatest generation."

It makes me sick when Pastors and ministers make the above statements. I enjoy JR Church and his ministry, but he made the above statement yesterday. I wanted to ask him, " what time and place to you live?" I've heard it over and over "we are the greatest". I'm not a pessimist or a negative believer, but I believe these are some of the worst times to be alive, sin is rampant, our society is hateful & anti-faith, anti-morals, greedy, Godless, seekers of pleasure, Killers, homosexuals and pedophiles, thieves and drug abusers they do not seek God and they hate those who do, they kill innocent babies daily and seek to kill those born who were supposed to be aborted, We live with the possibility of nuclear anniliation. Next to Sodom and Gomorrah and Noah's day we're the worst in history. I would have rather been born in 1862 instead of 1962. Does anyone else wish they would have been born a 100 years earlier?

"What an exciting time to be alive." "We are the greatest generation."

These statements, they make me want to (puking smiley)

johnbmcginnis, RR 58 Comments [3/19/2009 11:55:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 39
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60668

Pope claims condoms could make African Aids crisis worse
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 17 March 2009 14.57 GMT

Pontiff's remarks on first visit to continent outrage health agencies trying to halt spread of HIV and Aids
The Pope today reignited the controversy over the Catholic church's stance on condom use as he made his first trip to Africa.
The pontiff said condoms were not the answer to the continent's fight against HIV and Aids and could make the problem worse.
Benedict XVI made his comments as he flew to Cameroon for the first leg of a six-day trip that will also see him travelling to Angola.
The timing of his remarks outraged health agencies trying to halt the spread of HIV and Aids in sub-Saharan Africa, where an estimated 22 million people are infected.
The Roman Catholic church encourages sexual abstinence and fidelity to prevent the disease from spreading, but it is a policy that has divided some clergy working with Aids patients.


The Pope, guardian.co.uk 58 Comments [3/19/2009 8:39:07 AM]
Fundie Index: 82
Submitted By: Tolpuddle Martyr
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60652

Test : Raise & Praise
Target Question: "Am I showing too much belly?"

Action: Stand straight up and pretend you are going for it in worship, and extend your arms in the air to God. Is this exposing a lot of belly? Bellies are very intoxicating, and we need to save that for our husband!

'Truth or Bare' Fashion Test, Secretkeepergirl.com 83 Comments [3/18/2009 4:51:49 PM]
Fundie Index: 68
Submitted By: centauri
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60642

Right. For you to talk to me, you as somebody who is not a Scientologist to talk to me about what my beliefs are or to ask me to explain any core religious belief, that's an offensive concept. Nobody should ever be asked to do that.

Tommy Davis, kesq.com 77 Comments [3/17/2009 6:09:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 127
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60643

There are three races, Jews, Gentiles and the Church.

BibleNuggetLady, Rapture Ready 105 Comments [3/17/2009 5:52:59 PM]
Fundie Index: 184
Submitted By: Khaine
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60638

Students, give this test to your teachers. When they fail it, ask them why they are teaching this nonsense!

Teachers, give this test to your students if you really want them to know the truth about evolution!

1. Which evolved first, male or female?
2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?
3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods.
4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?
5. Which came first:
...the eye,
...the eyelid,
...the eyebrow,
...the eye sockets,
...the eye muscles,
...the eye lashes,
...the tear ducts,
...the brain's interpretation of light?
6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?
7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?
8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. When you have done this, you can collect the millions of dollars in rewards offered for proof of evolution!
9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?
10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)
11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?
12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.
13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?
14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?
15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?


Missing Universe Museum, MissingUniverseMuseum.com 309 Comments [3/17/2009 4:20:06 PM]
Fundie Index: 429
Submitted By: Journeyer
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60633

[In response to a graph showing that God killed 2,038,344 and Satan only killed 10]

Well, God created everything He has the right to kill it if He wants to. I trust Him.


ema, GraphJam 76 Comments [3/17/2009 3:03:04 PM]
Fundie Index: 74
Submitted By: J.T.
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60623

Im not going to argue with you due to the fact you are speaking out of a pro homosexually influenced mindset...thus you are incapable of logical and rational reasoning and interaction with others.

Im not typing japanese so its not hard to understand what i said.

Homosexuals are attempting to screw things up so badly that there can not be the existance of a "normal teenager" anymore. Pretty bad when its not possible for normal teenagers to exist in this world. Because the self avowed homosexuals are so screwed up they want everything and everybody to be screwed up so they arent perceived to be freak shows.

OldSchoolMethodist, Topix  78 Comments [3/17/2009 11:42:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 94
Submitted By: The Lazy One
WTF?! || meh

Junior Scientist Award

Quote# 60622

(Signature)

Physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity'. And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...

Paradigm, RaptureReady 118 Comments [3/17/2009 3:17:44 AM]
Fundie Index: 123
WTF?! || meh

The You Even Freak Out Jesus Award

Quote# 60603

Hubby and I both bawl all day long!!!

Hubby says that while he is working (he owns his own paint contracting company), and starts to think about Jesus and His return and the tears start to flow. Or while He is saying the Lord's Prayer, he breaks out in tears. He says he sobs when thinking about Jesus' return and seeing Him face to face. He says also when he remembers certain passages, like John 14:6, "Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

I too have been breaking down in tears and literally sobbing. My heart is overwhelmed and it is overflowing with the love that Jesus has for me. I can barely listen to a song that praises Jesus without bawling. Reading the Bible yesterday had me in tears. Reading some of the threads on this board make me break down.

But I think it is because the Holy Spirit is quickening our hearts. He is talking to us, now - more than ever and is calling us home. He is warning us and preparing us. Jesus IS coming. I think the entire Bride has heard His voice. He is giving us the urgency of the imminent return of Jesus for His Bride, and how important it is that we witness to as many as we can.

These tears are tears of joy IMHO. We long to be with our Father, and our Father has given us this yearning. I can only imagine that God is looking around the place that Jesus is/has prepared for us and is making sure everything is perfect. God is ready to tell His Son to, "Go get your Bride"!!!!

It won't be long now. Shout it from the rooftops!! Jesus is coming soon. He is Lord and Master and is getting ready to show Himself like never before!!!

Come Lord Jesus!!!

Chicken5516, RaptureReady 154 Comments [3/16/2009 2:20:49 PM]
Fundie Index: 160
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60582

*Obama Reverses Stem Cell Ban*

I'll see your late term abortions and raise you the killing of abortion survivers and the disabled. I wonder how the brave new world crowd will determine who's disabled enough to no longer be considered worthy of existance?

This stem cell research is a multi billion dollar industry in the private sector to begin with. This is totally unnecessary and it will be another drain on the federal treasury for years to come and it will produce absolutly nothing positive but will only be more experimentation by the Frankenstein crowd.

The abortion crowd cheers their approval today as this is hardly a surprise as Obama pays back the abortion gangsters who donated to his campaign.

Philly Rabbit, FC 69 Comments [3/16/2009 1:24:57 AM]
Fundie Index: 95
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60578

[in response to: You all are intolerant asses. I wish you could all see that people are truly just people. So what if they love people of the same gender? You all sicken me.]

To Mary Boyd: intolerant? Looks like you're intolerant of homophobes. I'm going to call you Bitch okay? Bitch, there are many reasons as to why homosexuality is fucked up. Number 1, it's by choice. If it was genetic, hey, not their fault their genes are fucked up, but when a person willingly chooses to become gay that's when I get angry. Not only am I angry that Gay's even exist, i'm pissed that you consider Gays as people. These 'people' want special rights for them and THEM only. Since when has being a fag entitled you to having extra rights?
You know what they did back in the biblical times? They killed gays. That's right, stoned their asses to death. You know why? Because God hates gays. By not hating gays, you're disobeying him, and you don't want to go to hell do you?

Danny Jung, Facebook group - I hate homos 237 Comments [3/15/2009 5:13:32 PM]
Fundie Index: 338
Submitted By: Will Creech
WTF?! || meh

Freaky Fantasy Award

For those who's fantasies are just plain freaky

Quote# 60605

I want to see that in real life, in real time! Beautiful picture Steve! When we see Jesus we are all going to be bawling our eyes out Chicken, you won't be alone! I'm just going to take mine out of their sockets, give them to Jesus and ask him to wipe them dry, then pop then back in so I can see.

cocopea9052, RaptureReady 13 Comments [3/15/2009 4:38:20 PM]
Fundie Index: 29
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60577

An unemployed truck driver seething over liberalism told police he opened fire in a church last year because it harbored gays and multiracial families and he hoped others would follow his example.

"They just glory (in) these weirdos and sickos and homos," he said in an interview recorded by investigators.

He also railed against the Unitarian Church: "That ain't a church, that's a damned cult," Adkisson said.

Adkisson walked into the church, pulled a sawed-off shotgun from a guitar case and fired into a congregation of about 230 people watching a children's musical performance.

Adkisson left a four-page suicide note in his SUV in the church parking lot. In it, he described the attack as "a hate crime,"

Adkisson concluded, "I'd like to encourage other like-minded people to do what I've done. If life ain't worth living anymore don't just kill yourself. Do something for your country before you go. Go kill liberals."

Catherine Murray, who was friends with the couple, told police Adkisson had drug and alcohol problems and "basically was afraid of anybody or anything that was not like him."

Jim David Adkisson, Yahoo News 97 Comments [3/15/2009 3:02:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 209
Submitted By: a mind far far away
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60567

It's funny-the atheists insist on utilizing their rights to have no religion, and their rights of freedom of speech and freedom of expression to convey their message, but they miss in the Constitution that we have been endowed by our CREATOR with certain unalienable rights-where do they think our rights and freedoms originate? If not God, then nthey are not rights, but priviledges GRANTED by the state, which can then be taken away at will by those granting them.
So, in their fight against the Creator, they seem winning to lose ALL rightts according to the whim of the powerful. huh.

ukulele mike, Christianpost.com 63 Comments [3/15/2009 12:07:03 PM]
Fundie Index: 54
Submitted By: MozMode
WTF?! || meh

Lying for Jesus

Because sometimes that much fail is win!

Quote# 60576

I am aware that people might think I'm crazy due to some of what I'm saying in this post. I don't care because I've seen this stuff firsthand and it's true. I'm not posting to start some debate, either. I don't want to get into a theological or apologetics debate or anything. I just want to tell you what I've experienced. It is difficult to convince people that the Bible is without internal or external contradiction (although I believe it myself), but I believe based on personal experience, not based on the reliability of the Bible. After trying to defend the Bible and my beliefs for months, I think it's as good a time as any to share some personal experiences.

This past week has been spring break at my school. I went with 600 other college students on a mission trip to south Texas, very close to the border. Crazy things happened. Guys, I don't know how to say it, but to say that miracles happen. I personally witnessed a guy's leg get physically healed (and heard several other stories the week from people who I trust with my life). I also personally saw five people come to Christ, and after praying for the Holy Spirit to come and fill them (like they did in the Bible), the people would say they felt "weird," "different," or "excited." One lady even said she felt "caliente" after being praying for a filling of the Spirit. I heard similar stories from friends all week.

And we shared the Gospel wherever we went, and many people came to know Christ. That's not to say we didn't face rejection, but even our bus drivers to and from home and the Subway workers on our dinner stop on the way back came to know Christ. There was no discrimination or specific group of people that were more receptive. Hispanics, blacks, whites, rich, poor, bus drivers, college students, children, adults, etc. They all came to know Christ and I heard crazy stories about people of all sort. After a week in which I experienced the power and love of God in such a tangible way, I don't know what to say but it's real. Having said that, I wonder how many of y'all have heard the Gospel. There might be fewer people on a Religion Board who haven't heard it, but I was surprised at how many people, especially in Texas, had not heard the Gospel.

joel is cheese, Gamefaqs 62 Comments [3/14/2009 9:05:17 PM]
Fundie Index: 19
Submitted By: wackadoodle
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60542

Are there woman angles? Cause some people always call some angles girls or pitcher of girl angles. Cause wasent women made out of man and back then only men were warriors.

JesusFreak92 , RaptureReady 122 Comments [3/14/2009 12:33:16 PM]
Fundie Index: 51
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60511

[Regarding a bill proposed, and shelved, in Connecticut.]

If I understand this right the gays want the state and federal government to recognize domestic partnerships. I think where the real anger with them lies is they want the state and federal government to equate the domestic partnerships with marriage between and a man and a women. The gays already have the legal right to have a domestic partnership so, the question is what are they actually wanting. Is it that they say want the benefits and privileges that come with marriage, is that the real issue? Tax purpose wise marriage doesn't have any benefit, as a matter of fact the tax burden on married people is greater than that of those single or living together. There are some employee benefits such carrying a spouse on group insurance plan, health and life. In the states where homosexuals unions have been made legal, do they declare at the time of the union which is the acting male figure and female figure on the license so the judge knows who to assign alimony payments in case of divorce? No I think the main reason for the push for the change in a 220 year old law is to desecrate the marriage institution because it is ordained by God, just as every other God honoring thing is under attack in America today.
Offenses are sure to come but woe unto those who they come by.

forsaltnlight, the Christian Post article comments 39 Comments [3/14/2009 12:31:15 PM]
Fundie Index: 23
Submitted By: GreenEyedLilo
WTF?! || meh

Quote# 60540

[On the FSM]

first thing: What the hell? You are just crazy, mislead idiots, who see some kind of personal profit in you “pastafarian” ways. Stop misleading innocent people. Who the hell worships a bundle of flying spaghetti with meatballs? It´s just sick. AND who is the leader of this “church”? My pastor and family would like a word with him.

HOW dare you sick idiots portrait that fictionous monster in place of God and Jesus. HOW DARE YOU! YOU are just a bunch of freaks and hillbillies that aren´t educated, have been neglected as children, and want to stand out in a freakish kind of way and say: “oh ho, i am a psycho pastafarian” or “look at me, i have been sent by the BDSM, i mean FSM, i come in peace, join us, spread the word of this goddamn thing.” keep your worship to yourselves and don´t taint the believe of normal people.

Think of it as this: What kind of Psycho draws up a pile of spaghetties, makes a church (so that he doesn´t have to pay taxes for his ventures AND to get MONEY form his crazy, damn followers) out of it, and even involves children and young people in this damn shit?!

I SAY, humans invented noodles around 2000-3000 BC!!! All who believe, this sick THING made US all up, is mislead AND has some serious problems with his life.

God damn you all, you idiots. DONT MISLEAD ANYMORE PEOPLE AND DELETE THIS DAMN WEBSITE!

sfg, Chruch of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 129 Comments [3/14/2009 10:53:54 AM]
Fundie Index: 73
Submitted By: Orlor
WTF?! || meh
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