The difference between God and Santa is that God is real.
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If you're not a good person, Santa won't give you any presents.
If you don't obey his laws, God lets you burn for all eternity.
I used to find presents under the tree each year - evidence for Santa Claus.
I used to find chocolate eggs each year - evidence for the Easter Bunny.
I found money under my pillow when I lost a baby tooth - evidence for the Tooth Fairy.
God gave me fuck-all.
Saint Nicholas - Historical figure, lived from ca. 270 AD to 343 AD. Real.God - Deity. Not a historical figure. Arguably not real.
Santa Claus - Fictional character based on Saint Nicholas. Travels the world in one night, giving presents to the good boys and girls and coal to the bad boys and girls. Despite claims that he knows who's been bad or good, school bullies and bigots still get presents.God - Supposedly omnipotent, omniscient being. Supposedly loves everyone. Supposedly condemns those who don't believe in him - or believe in the wrong version of him - to an eternity of suffering.
This isn't even close. The difference between God and Santa is that Santa is based on a historical figure who was actually nice to people.
No you guys, you're all wrong.
And God gives out brimstone.
There is an kindly old man with magical powers and a white beard who lives at the top of the world and sees everything I do and promises great reward if I behave in a kindly and generous manner. And it ain't fucking Gawd.
The difference between God and Santa is that I held onto my belief in Santa three times longer then my belief in God.
Wrong. The real difference is that Santa gives gifts to good kids while God slaughters them.
Unfortunately, Santa is fake.
Now, here's the good news: God is also fake.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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