Let me guess Fat Man's occupation. I bet he is history teacher at a christian school.
3/19/2006 7:00:58 AM
<< But anyways this man came up to the fort one day and ask the guard \"got any beer\" well this man was able to translate for the english to the indians and helped the setlers to get along with the indians.\" >>
If more people tried to resolve conflicts like this, there would be no war in the world. Yo Hitler, grab a cold one while you're inside. The bratwurst is almost done.
History revisionist award? I know we had a strong nominee a few days ago. I can't remember what it was though.
3/19/2006 7:04:10 AM
I read some of Fat Man's other comments in that thread and the one earlier and I refuse to belive he's searious. Go read his comment about the U.S. being \"New Jerusalem\", he even made a flag for it in MSPaint.
This combined with his other comments should get the 'History revisionist' award easily.
3/19/2006 7:34:09 AM
Sorry for the double post, but I had to post this other comment of his:
'UMM WEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU OPENED UP A HISTORY BOOK?
YES THEY LEFT ENGLAD BECAUSE OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND (SRY ZACH BUT THATS TURE) BUT ALSO THEY WERE PROBABLY MORE SPRITUAL THEN THE DUTCH WHO FIRST LANDED HERE
K LET ME JUST GIVE YOU A FEW EXAMPLES OF HOW SPRITUAL THESE PEOPLE WERE
1. B4 ANY1 STEPPED OFF THE MAYFLOWER THEY PRAYED AND FASTED FOR FORTY DAYS. THEN THEY SIGNED A DOCUMENT CALLED THE MAYFLOWER COMPACT THAT SAID THEY WOULD FOLOW ALL GODS RULES IN THIS \"NEW JURSELEM\" AS THEY CALLED (WOW WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT OUR COUNTRY WAS ONCE BASED ON CHRIST!!!)
2. K U GUYS NO THE STORY ABOUT THANKSGIVING, BUT LETS TELL ABOUT THE PART THE SCHOOLS DONT TELL YOU ABOUT. WELL SEE THERE WAS A BIG DROUGHT THE YEAR THE PILGRIMS LANDED THERE WAS A HUGE DROUGHT. SO THEY PRAYED AND WHILE THEY WERE PRAYING OUT OF NO WHERE IT STARTED RAINING. ALL THE INDIANS THAT WERE THERE WERE AMAZED THAT THE RAIN CAME AND MANY OF THEM WERE CONVERTED.'
What the hell?
3/19/2006 7:37:39 AM
I submitted that one too, but it didn't get accepted.
Love rain dances. If I dance for long enough it will rain - then I can claim it was me!
3/19/2006 9:29:30 AM
So why didn't they pray for a milder winter than the one that killed about 1/3 of their buckle-shoe wearing asses? Ain't that the whole deal wth Thanksgiving? Pilgrims land, get destroyed by poor weather and harsh farming conditions, natives show them a few survival skills, everyone has a party.
Odd thing is there is some real evidence of Fat Man's drought and prayer story, though that occured several years after the first Thanksgiving.
3/19/2006 11:21:31 AM
They all sat around the campfire and sang kumbaya, traded shots of whiskey, and tokes of weed, and shared stories of sailing. Then the English grabbed their muskets shot all the indians, because the Englishman-turned-Native \"moked\" their boat.
3/19/2006 1:48:55 PM
My spellchecker just exploded out my left ear with this one.
\"english citezen(sry 4 da spelling)\"
Dude. Why are you apologizing for only partially misspelling 'citizen' when you apparently can't even write 'the'? WTF?
3/19/2006 3:01:40 PM
\"now u say they killed the indians... well how did they kill the indians if when they landed there were no indians in the spot were they landed.\"
Is anyone else getting the mental picture of this idiot actually thinking the Pilgrims RAN OVER the natives with the Mayflower?
Or is that just me?
3/19/2006 3:14:10 PM
......\"got any beer\"?
Even in a post like this, I find those three words so terribly out of place...
3/19/2006 5:59:43 PM
Something tells me beer is the least of this guy's worries. I think LSD during history class just about sums it up.
3/19/2006 8:02:07 PM
Is it against Fundieism to even watch PBS because I'm sure this stuff was covered, if on no other show, on Colonial House.
3/20/2006 3:37:04 PM
Yes there were Native Americans in the area, who, unlike European tradition, even welcomed the pilgrims. True, a great many had already died of small pox and measles, leaving resources abundant. The pilgrims would have starved to death if the Native Americans had not shared with them and showed them how to hunt and farm. Almost all the pilgrims were tradesmen and craftsmen, didn't know shit about farming and didn't even bring much in the way of farming equipment. There was, in fact, an English speaking native american that helped them, but I believe the English released him back to his own country. If I remember correctly, his real conflict was with another tribe, not the Anglican church.
3/20/2006 5:09:47 PM
"english citezen(sry 4 da spelling)"
Thank you for apologizing to the Indo-European language tree. I'm sure Chaucer appreciates it.
Seriously, it's like reading LoneWolf after a lot of heavy drugs and a good ripping game of "Hit-Me-On-The-Head-With-Plumbing-Implements".
2/4/2013 6:35:13 AM