Have you guessed why I’m buying every copy of Are You My Mother? I can get my hands on?

Well, I believe it’s only a matter of time until this beloved classic is banned, because it’s based on these highly controversial ideas:

1. Everyone has a mother.

2. Everyone, especially a baby, has a unique, primal connection to his mother

3. Separation from his mother may lead to wondering where she is, and eventually to searching for her.

In case you haven't noticed, these views are under siege. Those who believe in them are called ugly names. They're considered intolerant and hateful. They're on the wrong side of "the biggest civil rights issue of our time."

[...]

So you see, this little book is heresy. Mark my words - It will disappear from libraries and bookstores. It may even go up in flames - think Fahrenheit 451.

Just a few will remain, but the book will have tremendous historical interest. (Some collectors may even value its moldy views on family, although they won't date say so.)

So there it is: low supply, high demand...and yours truly hits the jackpot.

My next money making scheme? I'm glad you asked. When I'm finished with Are You My Mother, I'll move on to buying all the copies I can find of Dr Seuss' Hop on Pop. Unless, of course, you grab them first.