That may be the weirdest Rapture hypothetical I've ever seen - and I've seen some pretty odd ones.
6/18/2005 11:37:01 PM
Tom S. Fox
Neither, the rapture won't happen!
Oh, sorry, did I just drop the ball?
3/31/2008 9:42:03 AM
See, to a sane person questions like this would just illustrate how daft the whole rapture thing is.
3/31/2008 10:10:50 AM
nice people don't take gifts back
3/31/2008 10:43:59 AM
I've gotta stop reading these things, i'm going mad!
3/31/2008 11:12:22 AM
What a deep, philosophical issue. Let's spend a few hours of our lives debating it.
3/31/2008 11:13:24 AM
Hmmm that is an interesting question, you'd almost think you'd have to start questioning your beliefs a little bit.
3/31/2008 12:22:20 PM
Thought you got a NEW uncorruptable body
3/31/2008 12:41:16 PM
It DEFINITELY goes with you. Besides the disappearance of 144,000 of the righteous, we will know that rapture has come when many of those with transplanted organs die simultaneously.
How do I know this, you may be asking?
I imagined it, that's how.
3/31/2008 12:44:22 PM
Eww! You mean to tell me that when these nuts leave, our streets are going to be full of discarded organs?!
3/31/2008 9:08:04 PM
Judging from the story you people profess, I'm guessing they stay, but Gawd rips them out anyway to punish the evil unbelievers.
3/31/2008 10:42:11 PM
Jesus H Christ
That's a WONDERFUL question Ladybug. I'm glad you asked because no question is ever stupid :) And here is your answer:
The organ has to stay with the atheist/non-christian until THEY die...THEN the tooth fairy (via Neverland) flies through the window and carries the organ's soul (JUST the soul now, not the WHOLE organ) along with some of the dead person's teeth (to sell and pay for gas..b/c i hear fuel costs are going to SKYROCKET after the Rapture)... she will then airmail the soul overseas to the Enchanted Forest where said organ-soul will be received by the Easter Bunny.
Thumper will hop to the North Pole and deliver your soulgan to Saint Nick. He can't use the reindeer because the 4 of them were sent to Guantanamo for being part of a secret Al Qaida terrorist cell (Rudolph was pardoned...but not after the water-boarding).
Santa will then have the elves build a 'time machine' out of a Delorean to transport your soulgan. This obviously takes a few months because they have to special-order the flux capacitor (you can't just build one yourself--are you STUPID?)...and those things are ALWAYS on back-order. He also needs to give X-zibit some time to pimp his ride.
Where were we?...Ah yes, Santa puts his remaining reindeer on treadmills attached to a turbine to create the 1.21 gigawatts needed to power the time machine. He also installs a DVD payer in the car to watch "10 000 BC" on the drive over...and BTW: 10 000BC? What a mammoth disappointment that movie was...So Saint Nick drives the package to Jesus' house (by himself...Mrs. Claus is in Washington being sued by the MPAA for distributing copies of "Miracle on 34th street" over Bit Torrent).
After he's done working on his tan, Jesus checks his mail, finds your organ's soul, hops on his segway and delivers it to the Great Organ Department (GOD) where it will be processed in 6-8 weeks and sent to you. Some industrial adhesive is all that is necessary to glue it back to your main soul. DO NOT GET THE ADHESIVE ON YOUR HANDS...to order the remover takes 12 weeks.
4/1/2008 2:20:58 AM
OK ok ok - so, what about silicone boobs? Hah?
Will there be puddles of silicone bouncing and jiggling around on the ground as flatty fundies ascend?
4/1/2008 3:31:53 AM
bwahahhahaha! i have a sudden mental picture of someone walking around, thinking it's a normal day, when suddenly their kidney rips itself out of their body and goes flying into the sky.
and what it's someone who received donor blood from a saved person, does blood suddenly start bursting out of their body and spurting up into the sky? what if you donated hair to make a wig to help a bald cancer patient, does the wig suddenly fly off their head to join you in the sky?
4/1/2008 3:41:44 AM
More amusingly, what happens during rapture if you happen to be an evil conjoined twin?
4/1/2008 4:49:19 AM
It would stay in the person because the rapture WONT HAPPEN.
6/30/2008 1:27:13 PM
That question is just plain stupid.
No, it's not even that good.
It's so bad it's not even stupid.
6/30/2008 1:51:07 PM
"bouncing and jiggling"
Damn, the imagery.
6/30/2008 1:52:11 PM
Why don't you donate all your organs RIGHT NOW and let's find out???
6/30/2008 1:57:11 PM
sorry, I am now giggling uncontrollably as I picture thousands of kidneys and spleens bursting out of people, Alien style, and floating skyward as the poor guy grasps at it helplessly
3/13/2011 8:58:56 AM
It goes with the fundie. You will have to hold it in your hand for all eternity. Try playing your harp (accordion, if you go to hell) with a handful of guts.
3/13/2011 9:45:30 AM
Yes, that is a fascinating question.
3/14/2011 3:18:09 AM
My sins have put a metal plate in my head. Tonight I am surgically embedding a magnet in my Christian roommate's body. That way when he gets saved, I will go up to heaven with him.
5/20/2011 6:53:09 AM
Nope. The heathen's blood will have tainted your donated organ, thus corrupting a piece of you, preventing you from getting a ticket for the Whooshfest.
Suicide is the only option.
5/20/2011 8:01:24 AM
As if anyone on Rapture Ready would be as generous as to donate an organ to someone else.
5/20/2011 8:23:54 AM