(Reason 9 on why not to dine at the y)
9. Cunnilingus is a Gateway Drug to Lesbianism
Even if a male reaches the peak of his ability at the art of cunnilingus, he can't compete with the intimate knowledge a female mind provides when engaging in this activity. Thus, if a woman truly loves oral sex, she will eventually find herself in the arms of a lesbian. Think of cunnilingus as being comparable to marijuana and lesbianism being comparable to hardcore drugs such as heroin and crack. This gateway is best to be avoided.
I hope you men join me in abstaining from cunnilingus. Together we can make a difference and put an end to this unhygienic, emasculating practice.
53 comments
"This gateway is best to be avoided."
Unintentional innuendo from Christina fundy, No.61254765191028155.
Cunnilingus is a Gateway Drug to Lesbianism
It's sentences like this (and the LOLs they give me) that remind me why I keep coming here, despite the hits my faith in humanity has to take...
I was going to make a joke about how that means blow jobs will turn guys gay, but was a bit too late for that so will go to my backup snide comment...
So you won't go down on your woman because you don't want her to leave you? Seems a bit counter intuitive there
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I went through the entire list. There wasn't anything on it (save #9, which is utter stupidity and bullshit) that couldn't be turned around to show why women shouldn't perform oral on men, either.
Yet I can't imagine a man who wouldn't love to have someone (of either sex - Momma doesn't judge) making mouth babies with him.
I bet you're 100% a-okay with fellatio, aren't you, Gulliver?
Twunt.
Too easy!
9. Fellatio is a Gateway Drug to Homosexuality
Even if a female reaches the peak of her ability at the art of fellatio, she can't compete with the intimate knowledge a male mind provides when engaging in this activity. Thus, if a man truly loves oral sex, he will eventually find herself in the arms of a homosexual. Think of fellatio as being comparable to marijuana and homosexuality being comparable to hardcore drugs such as heroin and crack. This gateway is best to be avoided.
I hope you women join me in abstaining from fellatio. Together we can make a difference and put an end to this unhygienic, masculinising practice.
Methinks someone's doing it wronf.
@tfaddict, @anothga, @Cyclonus
I worship Goomy, Haruhi, and the LORD HELIX.
Don't have enjoyable sex because somehow, somewhere, it's going to make an inconsiderate guy like you feel both incompetent and impotent at which point their girlfriends will spontaneously abandon them to find somebody with half a clue how to please them because there's no emotional investment in any of your long term relationships and they're based purely on sex. Lousy sex, at that.
Got it.
If sexuality is swayed by various sex acts then it is not only natural, but possibly God's preferred orientation. I do not see any claims of sex acts that can turn homosexuals straight, after all. That seemingly requires humiliating, strict punishment, sorry, I mean therapy, to cure.
Morons like you are the reason why I support 140th trimester abortions in such extreme cases.
And stop trying to cover up the fact that you're just really bad at it. You're not fooling anyone. You couldn't even fool Ray fucking Cumfart with that bullshit.
I suppose the only thing I worship is the Random Number God, I call him Arnie. And by 'worship', I mean 'swear vigorously at'.
Oh, uh, yeah, the quote is, um, very dumb?
@tfaddict: Assuming you're weird like me and enjoy making lists, count me as a Cthulhu cultist.
@OP: I bet you're just A-OK with the BJ.
@Yosarrian Lives: I too keep waiting for the list of sex acts that turn gays straight, but it never comes. I wonder why...
I thought Cunnilingus was an airline run by clever people from Ireland, until I discovered Smirnoff.
@#1806085
I though Fellatio was an Italian film director, until I discovered Smirnoff.
@whatever
I thought Innuendo was an Italian brand of suppository, until I discovered Smirnoff.
@tfaddict*
I thought Celestia was a single-layer wedding cake made by a baker with extreme vertigo, until I discovered Smirnoff.
(Think about it...!) /)^3^(\
http://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/smirnoff.197617/
X3
@SHODAN
I worship Hild:
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...for a couple of reasons. :9 [/"Ah! My Goddess"]
Can you say 'Paizuri ', Noah? I know you can. Hild certainly knows she likes 'Pearl Necklaces'...! >:D
*- Y'know what Applejack likes to indulge in?:
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Buck ake. X3
@Demon Duck of Doom
"sex acts that turn gays straight, but it never comes.
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Also:
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X3
--EDIT--
@SHODAN
As she was fucked by God no less, and thus gave birth to the Demon/Goddess hybrid Urd, the Norn of the Past, Hild is no less than the ultimate MILF.
Thus she is Numero Uno of my all-time Top 3 MILFs:
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1- Hild
2- Dvergr
3- Akiko Minase
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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