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Quote# 11553

Christians - Do you think Tom Cruise might be the...

AntiChrist? I've had that feeling for a while now. What do you think? I guess the 1 thing that disqualifies him is the fact that he's not from the revived Roman Empire.

Ozzy.Van.Durst, Metal Sludge Boards 32 Comments [5/10/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: FearsOfGun
WTF?! || meh
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shell

Now THIS? I am so on board with.

5/10/2006 4:47:02 PM

Hadanelith

Tom Cruise as...the AntiChrist? That's a stretch, even for silly Fundies.

5/10/2006 4:53:54 PM

Savrin

Naw.. Cruise is just batshit insane.

5/10/2006 4:54:14 PM

Papabear

Tom Cruise is a mediocre actor, an egotist and a wildly misinformed nutjob.

FREE KATIE!

5/10/2006 5:01:09 PM

MK

No, but he is the emperor of the Toman Empire.

5/10/2006 5:19:18 PM

Berny

So many neurons, not a single functioning synapse...

5/10/2006 5:28:36 PM

David D.G.

Tom Cruise should be considered an embarrassment to Americans, to actors, and especially to Scientologists.

Antichrist? No. Antisense? Yes.


~David D.G.

5/10/2006 5:45:43 PM

mad dog

Ozzy.Van.Durst:
What kind of metal fan worries about this bullshit? Seriously, why don't you go listen to some nice Christian rock, you poseur. Well, with a username that includes the word 'Durst', you are probably just another Limp Dickshit fan, and I really can't expect much out of you anyway.

Everyone else:
Who gives a damn about Katie? People act like Hollywood types never married people 20 years younger before Tom and Katie got hitched. If Tom wasn't a scientologist, no one would give a flying fuck.

5/10/2006 6:00:07 PM

Oolon Coluphid

Isn't the anti-christ supposed to be charismatic, well liked, and trusted?

5/10/2006 6:07:46 PM

TDR

that's pretty hilarious.

5/10/2006 6:22:38 PM

awhell

YOU'RE NOT METAL AND I'M TELLING EVERYONE.

DEATH TO FALSE METAL


5/10/2006 7:38:33 PM

shell

Woo!

*throws horns*

5/10/2006 7:53:55 PM

Napoleon the Clown

All I could do was laugh...

5/10/2006 7:54:33 PM

Julian

He is short enough , insane enough , megalomaniacal enough and gay enough to be a reincarnation of Alexander the Great though.

5/10/2006 9:06:13 PM

David D.G.

Julian, please don't malign Alexander the Great by comparing him with Tom Cruise. As far as I know, Alexander was short, gay (or at least bi), and all right, possibly megalomaniacal in some sense, but he was completely sane otherwise.


~David D.G.

5/10/2006 9:10:30 PM

g-21-lto

Tom Cruise is going to set up a world-wide government and be its tyrannical leader?

5/10/2006 9:30:07 PM

bullestock

Yikes. I just read the original thread - what are those pussies doing on a board called 'metal' anything? They would probably classify Metallica as black metal.

5/10/2006 9:46:19 PM

Julian

D.D.G. Only in comparison to Tom.

5/10/2006 9:51:32 PM

mad dog

Maybe OVD is on to something . . .

5/10/2006 10:02:01 PM

Alex W.

Mad Dog

HAHAHAHA, thats great.

5/10/2006 11:42:51 PM

Aesmael

You're not even trying. Where are the winding logical contortions and vast mental leaps proving scientology is the Revived Roman Empire?

5/11/2006 2:07:47 AM

Julian

Good point, I'm sure L. Ron Hubbard said, \"The quickest way to make a shitload of money is to revive the Roman Empire.\"

5/11/2006 3:15:02 AM

Maronan

Remarkably, Tom Cruise can't be the antichrist. The antichrist would look just like Jesus, unless you can tell the difference between an electron and a positron with a quick glance. Of course, the antichrist wouldn't last very long before being annihilated by the matter surrounding him.

\"Christian Science\" Study Question:

Suppose the antichrist is as big as the Earth. Would the rest mass of two Earths provide enough energy to accelerate the believers into Heaven? (Answer: Goddidit! Also valid: Godwilldoit!)

5/11/2006 3:30:14 AM

Napoleon the Clown

Originally posted by Maronan

Remarkably, Tom Cruise can't be the antichrist. The antichrist would look just like Jesus, unless you can tell the difference between an electron and a positron with a quick glance. Of course, the antichrist wouldn't last very long before being annihilated by the matter surrounding him.

Best antimatter reference ever.

5/11/2006 6:05:54 AM

Taste my steel

Death to false metal. How dare you put durst in the same sentance as ozzy and im assssuming Van halen. Leave the hall.

5/11/2006 10:31:28 AM
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