Quote# 11553

Christians - Do you think Tom Cruise might be the...

AntiChrist? I've had that feeling for a while now. What do you think? I guess the 1 thing that disqualifies him is the fact that he's not from the revived Roman Empire.

Ozzy.Van.Durst, Metal Sludge Boards 32 Comments [5/10/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: FearsOfGun
WTF?! || meh
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shell

Now THIS? I am so on board with.

5/10/2006 4:47:02 PM

Hadanelith

Tom Cruise as...the AntiChrist? That's a stretch, even for silly Fundies.

5/10/2006 4:53:54 PM

Savrin

Naw.. Cruise is just batshit insane.

5/10/2006 4:54:14 PM

Papabear

Tom Cruise is a mediocre actor, an egotist and a wildly misinformed nutjob.

FREE KATIE!

5/10/2006 5:01:09 PM

MK

No, but he is the emperor of the Toman Empire.

5/10/2006 5:19:18 PM

Berny

So many neurons, not a single functioning synapse...

5/10/2006 5:28:36 PM

David D.G.

Tom Cruise should be considered an embarrassment to Americans, to actors, and especially to Scientologists.

Antichrist? No. Antisense? Yes.


~David D.G.

5/10/2006 5:45:43 PM

mad dog

Ozzy.Van.Durst:
What kind of metal fan worries about this bullshit? Seriously, why don't you go listen to some nice Christian rock, you poseur. Well, with a username that includes the word 'Durst', you are probably just another Limp Dickshit fan, and I really can't expect much out of you anyway.

Everyone else:
Who gives a damn about Katie? People act like Hollywood types never married people 20 years younger before Tom and Katie got hitched. If Tom wasn't a scientologist, no one would give a flying fuck.

5/10/2006 6:00:07 PM

Oolon Coluphid

Isn't the anti-christ supposed to be charismatic, well liked, and trusted?

5/10/2006 6:07:46 PM

TDR

that's pretty hilarious.

5/10/2006 6:22:38 PM

awhell

YOU'RE NOT METAL AND I'M TELLING EVERYONE.

DEATH TO FALSE METAL


5/10/2006 7:38:33 PM

shell

Woo!

*throws horns*

5/10/2006 7:53:55 PM

Napoleon the Clown

All I could do was laugh...

5/10/2006 7:54:33 PM

Julian

He is short enough , insane enough , megalomaniacal enough and gay enough to be a reincarnation of Alexander the Great though.

5/10/2006 9:06:13 PM

David D.G.

Julian, please don't malign Alexander the Great by comparing him with Tom Cruise. As far as I know, Alexander was short, gay (or at least bi), and all right, possibly megalomaniacal in some sense, but he was completely sane otherwise.


~David D.G.

5/10/2006 9:10:30 PM

g-21-lto

Tom Cruise is going to set up a world-wide government and be its tyrannical leader?

5/10/2006 9:30:07 PM

bullestock

Yikes. I just read the original thread - what are those pussies doing on a board called 'metal' anything? They would probably classify Metallica as black metal.

5/10/2006 9:46:19 PM

Julian

D.D.G. Only in comparison to Tom.

5/10/2006 9:51:32 PM

mad dog

Maybe OVD is on to something . . .

5/10/2006 10:02:01 PM

Alex W.

Mad Dog

HAHAHAHA, thats great.

5/10/2006 11:42:51 PM

Aesmael

You're not even trying. Where are the winding logical contortions and vast mental leaps proving scientology is the Revived Roman Empire?

5/11/2006 2:07:47 AM

Julian

Good point, I'm sure L. Ron Hubbard said, \"The quickest way to make a shitload of money is to revive the Roman Empire.\"

5/11/2006 3:15:02 AM

Maronan

Remarkably, Tom Cruise can't be the antichrist. The antichrist would look just like Jesus, unless you can tell the difference between an electron and a positron with a quick glance. Of course, the antichrist wouldn't last very long before being annihilated by the matter surrounding him.

\"Christian Science\" Study Question:

Suppose the antichrist is as big as the Earth. Would the rest mass of two Earths provide enough energy to accelerate the believers into Heaven? (Answer: Goddidit! Also valid: Godwilldoit!)

5/11/2006 3:30:14 AM

Napoleon the Clown

@Maronan:
Remarkably, Tom Cruise can't be the antichrist. The antichrist would look just like Jesus, unless you can tell the difference between an electron and a positron with a quick glance. Of course, the antichrist wouldn't last very long before being annihilated by the matter surrounding him.

Best antimatter reference ever.

5/11/2006 6:05:54 AM

Taste my steel

Death to false metal. How dare you put durst in the same sentance as ozzy and im assssuming Van halen. Leave the hall.

5/11/2006 10:31:28 AM
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