Jeremy

ONE LETTER DIFFERENCE AND NOW THIS! \"not\" = \"now\"

5/13/2006 5:39:00 AM

Napoleon the Clown

It still isn't science.

5/13/2006 5:52:47 AM

Yahweh

Wow, only 33 semester hours to get your Masters in Creationism.

Compared to, say, 60 - 100 hours to get your Associates in Computer Science at real colleges.

5/13/2006 5:53:15 AM

NotMe

I allready got my masters degree in Creationism. All it required was appalling spelling, appaling grammar and the knowledge of \"goddidit\".

5/13/2006 6:25:28 AM

Bob_Zimmerman

Yahweh - To be fair, it says \"Thirty-three (33) semester hours of work beyond the bachelor's degree are required for the M.S. degree.\" So take the number of hours required for a normal baccalaureate degree, then add 33 to it and this is how many hours you need to get this \"degree\".

I must admit, a 5,000 word \"research paper\" is extremely weak. I had to write a strategic corporate security policy and generate some other materials for one of my second-year courses. All told, the total came out to more than 8,600 words and plenty of diagrams over the span of 40 pages.

Though for a joke degree, I would expect a joke \"research paper\" requirement.

5/13/2006 6:28:36 AM

Aesmael

33 hours? I would have thought lobotomies could be performed quicker than that.

5/13/2006 7:40:00 AM

Babbleon

Advanced Studies in Creationism, eh...

Is there an OxyMoron award?

5/13/2006 9:00:54 AM

Skyfire

The only place where such a degree would be accepted would be fundie-land. I can't think of a single reputable institution who would even consider someone with such a degree.

5/13/2006 9:03:03 AM

Ace of Sevens

Somethign tells me this isn't accreditted.

5/13/2006 9:11:11 AM

Duke Stronguy

I can just imagine the final exam:

Who created man?

A) God

B) Flying Spaghetti Monster

C) \"Darwin\"

D) God

5/13/2006 10:11:54 AM

Pike

Question #2

Why do the stars indicate that they are millions and billions of light years away when we know the universe is only 6000 years old? (choose all that apply)

1. There’s a world wide conspiracy of scientists lying to us

2. The stars are actually within our solar system, and there’s a world wide conspiracy of astronomers lying to us.

3. God created the universe with the light already on its way (to test our faith)

4. The devil is testing our faith

5/13/2006 12:28:34 PM

JustinGG

Pssstt...here's the answers to the essay portion of the final:

(1) God did it. (2) God did it. (3) God did it. (4) God did it. (5) Because God said so. (5) God did it. (6) God did it. (7) Anything but evolution. (8) God did it. (9) Because God said so.

5/13/2006 12:54:55 PM

Blurb

You guys are missing the point. The best part about this class is you can open any hotel drawer and get the textbook for free!

5/13/2006 1:58:54 PM

Talisman

This is just hilarious. I assume that when they offer their Ph.D. program that Hovind will be the first to sign up. He'd be really convincing then. That is, assuming he has any money left by then to enroll.

5/13/2006 2:44:23 PM

Papabear

Well, I bet employers everywhere will be falling all over themselves to hire people with MS degrees from ICR. Oh, wait, they're falling all over because they are laughing too hard to stand.

5/13/2006 2:44:31 PM

mad dog

Next, they should have advanced studies in Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

5/13/2006 4:40:15 PM

Crosis

Can you say \"diploma mill\"?

<<< I must admit, a 5,000 word \"research paper\" is extremely weak. >>>

No shit. I did that much in high school (not on the topic of creationism, of course).

5/13/2006 7:10:47 PM

JustinGG

5,000 words?

So \"God did it\" 1666 times? Me thinks its the Devil's work.

5/13/2006 7:13:52 PM

whitewater55

What is it, fill in the blanks exam? Should be easy. All the answers would be \"goddidit\". Send me my degree in the mail, please. I am sure I graduated.

5/13/2006 8:38:23 PM

Julian

Awww how cute - a fingerpainting class for strawmen.

5/14/2006 12:58:17 AM

Maronan

Here's my thesis paper:

God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so. God created the world in six days because the Bible says so. Evolutionists are lying because the Bible says that they are wrong. Life seems to evolve because God does it. God really does it. God made the universe. God did it. The Bible is true because it says so.

There! It's exactly 5,000 words! I expect my degree to arrive any day now.

Side note: My original passage was 42 words. It would have been nice to leave it at 42, since 42 is the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, but decided to up it to 50, just so it would go evenly into 5,000.

5/14/2006 12:04:35 PM

The Last Conformist



Last I stayed at the hotel, there weren't any Bibles around I could steal. I feel cheated. :(

5/14/2006 2:42:10 PM

Adrian

\"ICR is now offering an online Master's degree program with courses in \"Advanced Studies in Cretinism.\"\"

Fixed, I wonder what these extra vowels were here for...

6/26/2006 9:52:04 PM

Crimson Lizard

Anything to make a buck...

8/26/2009 11:04:35 PM

Quantum Mechanic

hahahahahahahahahahaha

8/18/2012 9:54:25 PM