Quote# 11715

Suppose that the AC and his minions are ready and waiting for the rapture. As soon as it is apparent that it's happened, he launches about 1/2 dozen EMP's over the U.S., Europe, and the Far East. Thus completely wiping out all communications around the globe.

The rapture happened, but as far as anyone who is left knows, they just can't locate some of their friends and family, and they just figure it's because they have no way to communicate. The plains and cars all crashed because all the electrical systems went out. There are no widespread reports of people vanishing because there is no way to widely communicate with one another. There's complete chaos, and as soon as some power is restored, just to organize things again, we can give out an ID tag for everyone that will at least allow them to buy some food. We'll just make a mark on your hand or forehead that has this handy barcode in it to facilitate getting by while everything has to be rebuilt. If you told the Katrina refugees they needed this mark to get some food, I doubt you would have gotten any argument, especially if they had no idea of the rapture or the mark, or anything else Biblical.

All the chaos that has just gone on, forces the return of the twelfth Imam, and the long awaited Jewish Messiah, who will make some supernatural appearance. Ta da, I'm here to save the day.

Okay, it's just a wild thought.

C. Little, Rapture Ready 45 Comments [5/16/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4

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Tiny Bulcher

It's wild, but I'm not sure it qualifies as a thought.

5/16/2006 7:43:22 PM


At least you recognize that its a wild thought...now run with that.

5/16/2006 8:00:04 PM


I really find it disturbing that so many fundies spew this sort of thing - in a way that is not so much catastrophising, as fantasizing!

5/16/2006 8:01:39 PM


I can't believe I forgot to mark (no pun intended) that I wanted credit for submitting this! Hey Yahweh, can you fix it?

And what is it with these people and barcodes?

5/16/2006 8:03:55 PM

Oolon Coluphid

You know, if it weren't for the fact that there are people who actually believe it will happen, all this anti-christ/rapture stuff could be a really cool work of fiction.

5/16/2006 8:06:37 PM


Depressingly enough, this makes more sense than any of the other similar drivel I've read. Still crazy, but in at least it's in a remotely-plausible sort of way.

Compare to, say, yellowbo.

5/16/2006 8:08:48 PM


The screen name C Little ( as in \"see little\") seems appropriate.

5/16/2006 8:19:42 PM


What's that about an air conditioner trying to rally forces?

(I know what AC stands for in this, but the air conditioner bit is just not something to pass up on)

5/16/2006 8:30:44 PM


I agree with Bob_Zimmerman; it's still fundy of course, but at least kind of thought out. Most of these guys seem to think that nobody would notice if hundreds of thousands of people suddenly disappeared. C. Little at least tries to provide a reasonably plausible scenario.

5/16/2006 8:38:01 PM


Are a/cs that still have barcodes on them doubly evil? Fear their satanic cooling!

5/16/2006 8:41:17 PM


What DOES AC stand for? Atheist Coalition? Anonymous Coward? Aggressive Cockroach?

If everyone were raptured, I think it would be a pretty big tip-off when no human remains were discovered in those planes and all that was left was clothes. This isn't The Langoliers.

5/16/2006 8:47:17 PM

mad dog

Alice in Chains, Alice Cooper, Anal Cunt?

5/16/2006 8:54:04 PM


I thought it meant Alternate Current

5/16/2006 9:03:04 PM


This is exactly why it scares me to put people who believe in the rapture in positions of power.

5/16/2006 9:18:36 PM


Jeremy.. if that was a serious question you asked, it means Antichrist :)

5/16/2006 9:35:31 PM


You watch too much TV. You should read more. You dumb fuckwit!

5/16/2006 9:39:31 PM


These people would be wonderful dime store novel authors.

5/16/2006 9:59:33 PM

David D.G.

I agree, as premises go, this is better than most. Now if only he could recognize that all this speculation amounts to is saying, \"The sky is falling -- well, anyway, it's about to or it could any day now, and here's how it might plausibly happen!\"

~David D.G.

5/16/2006 10:19:19 PM


If I'm not mistaken, I thought prevailing doctrine was that the mark of the beast wasn't supposed to come until after the AC died and rose as Satan incarnate. Communications would probably be restored with plenty of time to figure out that millions of people disappeared (not to mention all the other crazy stuff that's supposed to happen before the mark).

Granted, though, this is a pretty impressive and well thought out scenario, by fundie standards.

5/16/2006 10:52:21 PM


C Little? C for Chicken? This wouldn't be a parody, would it?

5/16/2006 11:07:51 PM

Alex W.

Well, at least this one is more thought out then the one where the guy thought god was gonna play a joke by 'rapturing' him through the windsheld of his car.

5/16/2006 11:50:57 PM

Napoleon the Clown

This is probably the most intelligent Rapture theory I've heard...

Thank God my great uncles have cars from the thirties. EMP won't fry 'em. Nor would it stop my bike, as it is driven by me.

Oh, and our beloved military has enough hardened shit to get communication back up within a few weeks. Still, this is the most intelligent fundie I've seen submitted.

5/17/2006 12:51:48 AM


The twelfth Imam? Is this a fundie Muslim?

5/17/2006 12:57:28 AM


\"...as soon as some power is restored\" would take place long after everyone starved to death.

I think the 12th Imam is a Texas Aggie.

5/17/2006 1:23:17 AM


A thought, but not a very good one. Keep trying though.

5/17/2006 1:25:18 AM

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