Here's a good way to resist the temptation to masturbate.
The next time you feel like you want to masturbate, get a fat, black, sharpie magic marker and write the word "Jesus" on your palm. That should do it.
83 comments
Why should we care? Why should we resist? Why should we stop? If you can answer those questions in a way that doesn't involve God, Jesus, (Christian-based) morality, or any other such nonsense, then I'll stop.
I can just picture Mac trying to explain this to friends:stop ."
"Does that actually work?"
"It did for a while, but now whenever I read the Bible I think of masturbation."
So, this guy wants us to all jerk off on Jesus? Wow, more twisted than normal but..
mad dog, are you saying you're an ambidexterous wanker?
"The next time you feel like you want to masturbate, get a fat, black,"
Hmmmm, better still, get two!Show and Tell '".
Julian are you trying to win an award for yourself or something? Your # of posts is a more extreme form of masturbation than bondage gags, tuna fish, bullwhips and electronic french ticklers put together.
Your # of posts is a more extreme form of masturbation than bondage gags, tuna fish, bullwhips and electronic french ticklers put together. tuna fish ?? Is that what you like?
Oh great, Jesus has taken me from 1-2 times a day to 5-6 :(
The next time you feel like masturbating, Mac, go and submit something insanely idiotic on the internet so that others can laugh. Thank you.
Oh. I see. A whole tribe of you are already doing it.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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