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Quote# 1201

if God told me to jump off a bridge, I'd do it in a heartbeat. If he told me to jump, I'd either end up in Heaven with him, or he would save me, one of the two.

HyruleanHero, Smash World Forums 22 Comments [10/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 9
WTF?! || meh


Hyruleanhero? This is god speaking. What's up? Cool, cool, say I was kinda wondering, would ahh, would you, you know, kinda, go jump off a bridge? Not one of those little ones, you know, not just one over a big ditch or a creek or something, I'm talking about one of the big ones, like a few hundred yards to the water. Would ja go ahead and do that for me? Great! Thanks Hyrulean. Yep, see you in a little while. (stifling laughter) Yep. Bye now. Haahahahahahahahahah!

6/23/2006 11:27:14 AM


I heard if you stay awake for 48 hours straight you start experiencing auditory hallucinations.


5/10/2008 12:33:21 PM


How funny is it that he uses the same example all our moms used to tell us how STUPID it is to follow the crowd?

"And I suppose if Jesus jumped off the Empire State Building, YOU'D go and jump off..."

5/10/2008 2:59:33 PM


Jump, Hero. Do it today. I'll catch you on the first bounce, trust me.

5/10/2008 3:11:08 PM


isnt suicide a sin though?

5/10/2008 3:13:10 PM


I actually feel bad for HyruleanHero's mother and what she went through, even if she was a fundie (which is very likely.) "And I suppose if 'God' told you to go and jump off a bridge, you'd have you go and jump off a bridge!"

5/10/2008 4:05:52 PM

Maybe God wants to kill you and send you to Hell.

6/20/2008 3:55:52 PM


This world would be so different if the Bible had commanded that followers of Christ had to leave their "Earthly Vessels" on June 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM GMT.

It would be hilarious.

6/20/2008 3:58:36 PM

Dr. Shrinker

What if god told you to sell all your possessions, including your computer, and give the money to the poor?

12/30/2008 3:20:59 PM


Sorry, but I truly doubt that. More than likely, you'd argue that it was Satan trying to get you to do it.

12/30/2008 3:27:53 PM


then you get to heavens gates and st peter asks you WHY you had to listen to your little skitso imaginary freind when he said jump off the bridge thereby killing your stupid self (suicide) no heaven for you!!!

XD LOL that sounds like something the big guy would do X3

11/1/2009 10:21:51 PM


..... But I thought suicides go to Hell.

11/1/2009 10:34:55 PM


"if God told me to jump off a bridge, I'd do it in a heartbeat"

God here. Go jump off a bridge.

11/2/2009 10:28:29 AM


"if God told me to jump off a bridge, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

With a name like 'HyruleanHero', specifically anHero? A troll/Poe, and a /b/tard, methinks.

11/2/2009 10:38:59 AM

Or you could go to hell for some unknown reason. Are you going to risk?

12/28/2009 1:24:23 PM

Quantum Mechanic


Pick a high one.

4/9/2011 11:50:18 AM


Or could end up splattered all over the place like strawberry jam. Wanna risk it? Don't le me stop you.

4/10/2011 12:07:21 AM


Dicky Smothers "if your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

Tommy Smothers "No, Not again"

Tommy just pretended to be stupid

4/10/2011 6:31:30 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Jump yet?

1/1/2013 5:27:54 AM


"isnt suicide a sin though?"

Most Christians would try to tell you that Christians never commit suicide because of this. The feature post is the loophole, it's not suicide if God tells you to do it.

Suicide by car "take the wheel God"
Suicide by jump "I believe I can float,,oops,,save me God,,,oh oh"

I'm not really joking here, they can and do rationalize anything as a command or will of God.

1/1/2013 7:08:42 AM


If God told me to jump off a bridge, I'd stop mixing the cola and aspirin.

1/1/2013 9:15:08 AM

This is why religion is so dangerous. Case in point.

Christian Insane Person: I hear voices! It must be God. I will do what it says without question.

Atheist Insane Person: I hear voices! I better go see a doctor and get my condition treated.

3/27/2013 9:53:50 PM