Quote# 123008

[Note: The original poster has since changed her mind on this issue. –shy]

I hate the term homophobia.

HATE IT!

Here’s the definition from dictionary.com: intense hatred or fear of homosexuals or homosexuality.

That’s all fine and good. It’s a real thing and there are people who definitely fit those characteristics.

However, let me tell you something vitally important: opposing gay marriage or not supporting a homosexual cause does not automatically make you homophobic by definition!

Pro-life people don’t call the pro-choice position pedophobia (fear of babies and children) or tokophobia (fear of childbirth). Why? Because that’s not what their position is about. They’re not fearful of the other position and they don’t intensely hate pregnant women or fetuses necessarily.

So why is it that someone who won’t make a wedding cake for a gay couple is called a homophobe? Is he fearful of the gay couple or their lifestyle? In most cases, no (if he were, feel free to call him that). Does he intensely hate the gay couple or their lifestyle? Again, in most cases, no. But they have a religious opposition to it and they are obeying their God. Whether or not you think they should be allowed to deny service doesn’t matter, the fact is that you’re calling them names simply because of their beliefs and your insult is probably not even accurate.

By definition, though, a phobia is an irrational fear or aversion. So by calling those who disagree with your position homophobic, you are automatically chalking their opinion up to an irrational fear when, in fact, most people are not frightened of homosexuals or homosexuality. You’re implying that their position is based on irrationality and that there is no logic to it. Basically, you’re name calling.

If you want people who oppose gay marriage to respect your opinion, you have to respect theirs. Disagreement isn’t irrationality. Calling those who disagree with you a name that basically implies that they’re stupid for believing what they believe is bullying.

I’m not going to share my opinions on gay marriage. They’re irrelevant. I just intensely dislike the word “homophobia” because it’s insulting to a group of people who may have some valid concerns if you stopped name calling and listened.

In order to find a middle ground, you have to respect both opinions. I believe a middle ground is possible. So people on both sides, stop being bullies and start respecting each other.

katemarie999, FishBones and Other Nonsense 19 Comments [12/14/2016 11:36:03 AM]
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Citizen Justin

"By definition, though, a phobia is an irrational fear or aversion."

Yes, in her wedding cake example, they do indeed have an irrational aversion. I prefer not to use the word because it technically means "an irrational fear or aversion to those that are the same."

12/14/2016 11:52:33 AM

Malingspann

"Does he intensely hate the gay couple or their lifestyle? Again, in most cases, no. But they have a religious opposition to it and they are obeying their God."

Heterosupremacists following their heterosupremacist God.

12/14/2016 12:00:23 PM

Philbert McAdamia

I hate the term homophobia.
HATE IT!


This guy is a hater...
I despise haters.
HATE THEIR GUTS!
Loathe 'em. {{Brrrrr}}

12/14/2016 12:09:17 PM

Kanna

"opposing gay marriage or not supporting a homosexual cause does not automatically make you homophobic by definition! "

Uh....it kinda does, Kate. Just imagine saying "I want you to be miserable, to be closeted, marginalized, discriminated against, and oppressed, and I want you to be a second-class citizen, never to have the chance to marry the one you love. Have a nice day." Because that's exactly what you are saying when you oppose same sex marriage, except for "have a nice day". You are homophobic. You just don't want the label, because you would like to think of yourself as a nice person. But you're not, Kate, you really are not.

12/14/2016 12:18:59 PM



No but they do call them pro abort rather than pro choice. And many who oppose gay marriage are in fact, hateful towards homosexuals and allies.

12/14/2016 12:23:18 PM

Mister Spak

"they don’t intensely hate pregnant women or fetuses necessarily."

Well of course they do, they're anti-life.

12/14/2016 2:08:51 PM

creativerealms

Thing is thinking that homosexuals want to turn children gay or that homosexual marriage will destroy the institution of marriage is irrational and so are symptoms of a phobia. Not everyone who hates homosexuals are homosexuals they only are if their fears and hatrids are irrational.

12/14/2016 2:23:55 PM

Uilleam

So people on both sides, stop being bullies and start respecting each other.

This is what the gays are constantly trying to tell you, but do you listen?

12/14/2016 3:27:35 PM

Anon-e-moose

"In order to find a middle ground, you have to respect both opinions. I believe a middle ground is possible. So people on both sides, stop being bullies and start respecting each other."

Okay. Homophobe.


12/14/2016 3:36:42 PM

Spacewyrm

"You’re implying that their position is based on irrationality and that there is no logic to it."

Oh? I think most non-bigots will say so outright. Your position is irrational and illogical.

12/14/2016 8:58:14 PM

Jamaican Castle

I mean... we could call it "heteronormative chauvinism" if you prefer, it still wouldn't make you good people.

12/14/2016 9:08:39 PM

rubber chicken

" I just intensely dislike the word “homophobia” because it’s insulting to a group of people who may have some valid concerns"


But your concerns are not valid. Your religious opposition is cherrypicked, your opinions are based on a subjective aversion and your position is irrational and illogical.

12/15/2016 2:06:01 AM

The Reptilian Jew

opposing gay marriage [...] does not automatically make you homophobic by definition!
This just in: opposing giving gay people basic rights is not homophobic. More at 11.
Your site's name is spot on though, it's full of nonsense.

12/15/2016 5:41:14 AM

Doubting Thomas

By definition, though, a phobia is an irrational fear or aversion.

What else would you call someone who wants to prohibit others from being married & having other rights based on a sexual orientation which doesn't affect them in any way? I think homophobia is an apt description.

You’re implying that their position is based on irrationality and that there is no logic to it.

Because their position is based on irrationality and has no logic to it. For instance, what two men or two women do in the privacy of their own bedroom across town, across the state, or across the country will not affect their lives one bit, yet they still insist on preventing those people from doing things in the privacy of their own bedroom.

I’m not going to share my opinions on gay marriage.

As if we didn't know what they were.

12/15/2016 7:56:12 AM

Timjer

"By definition, though, a phobia is an irrational fear or aversion."

Exactly. And since there is nothing rational about a fear or aversion of someone else's sexual attraction, then you are, by definition, a Homophobe.

"I’m not going to share my opinions on gay marriage. They’re irrelevant."

First reasonable thing you've said.

"So people on both sides, stop being bullies and start respecting each other."

How about you follow your own advice. Because there's nothing respectful about wanting those who are different then you to be treated as second class citizens.

12/15/2016 8:58:19 AM

Shephard Solus

"opposing gay marriage or not supporting a homosexual cause does not automatically make you homophobic by definition!"

Actually the first item does automatically make you a homophobe as you're opposing their equal recognition under the law based upon who their partner is. As for the latter, if your lack of support for (or, as is often the case, outright opposition to) a "homosexual cause" is based upon their being homosexuals then yes, as a matter of fact, that does make you a homophobe. You don't get to oppose or dismiss a cause because you dislike the beneficiaries and then claim that you're not biased against them. You don't get to call your pants flame retardant while they're on fire.

12/15/2016 9:51:03 AM

Strider

Someone gets triggered by a word that perfectly describes them...
And your opinions, your agenda of imposing religion over the constitution are just pathetic, since your lack of respect for others merits no respect for your.
Buhu


12/19/2016 5:01:28 PM

Strider

Someone gets triggered by a word that perfectly describes them...

Buhu


12/20/2016 11:47:01 PM

Swede

Yes, it does make you homophobic. Why would you oppose people getting married to their significant others, other than out of fear or hatred?

Pro-choice is not pro-abort; then it wouldn't be a choice, now would it. They are also about women being able to choose to KEEP THE PREGNANCY GOING.
Pro-life, on the other hand, are just pro-birth, as they clearly don't care one iota about the child once it's born, nor about the mothers who kept the pregnancy going despite being poor or unwed.

Why won't you make a wedding cake for a gay couple? Would you make a cake for a couple of divorcees? Some of the bakeries that have refused gay couples, have later happily accepted commissions to make cakes for dog "weddings". Refusing cakes for gays does seem like an act of hatred, not to mention discrimination.

Are they working on the Sabbath? Do they mix ham and cheese? Then they aren't obeying the Bible God.

Language is a living entity; it adapts after how humans are using it.

Yes, we DO say (not only imply) that their position is based on irrationality, and that there is no logic to it.
Discrimination isn't just a question of opinion, it's international law.
We believe they are bullying gays, yes.

Sorry for the Godwin, but do you also think that the Nazis and the Jews/gays should have respected each other's opinions too, and sought a middle ground?

12/21/2016 4:06:44 AM

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