Often during my break at work I saw my co workers praying bowing down and kneeling being intimate with their God. I asked myself why I can't I be intimate with Jesus.
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Jesus can't even come back as a zombie. After 2000 years, he only exists as like...insects, and plants, and soil, and...stuff.
Jesus can't even come back as a zombie. After 2000 years, he only exists as like...insects, and plants, and soil, and...stuff.
So he'd be some sort of golem instead? Or would he be an earth elemental?
Jesus is worm shit, I guess...
Checked the thread. What's he's talking about is Moslems in the workplace who pray at lunch. Seems he's jealous because he thinks they're getting it on with Allah while he's still waiting for the first coming with jesus boy.
Anyway, all the above comments alluding to oral sex are inappropriate, considering the position that Moslems take when they pray. Instead, it seems that what he really wants is a good, old-fashioned butt fuck.
Whoa! This calls for Cartman's Christian rock songs (from South Park)
- Oh Lord you are my Savior! You know I miss you so much when you are gone.
- Yes, I may be born again, but I was wasn't born again yesterday.
- I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus! I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!
- The Body of Christ! Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned!
The Body of Christ! O, Lord Almighty, I wish I could call it my own!
- You're one time, two times, three times my Savior.
- Whenever I see Jesus up on that Cross I can't help but think that he looks kinda hot...
Now, now, folks... Love is a many-splendored thing.
But remember, reason2believe, if Jesus ain't in the mood: NO means NO!
Hadanelith: http://simianuprising.com/zombierotica/ would beg to differ. o.O ...no, I don't know why it exists, I found the link via a friend's WTF post in her journal. Now you know it exists too, whee!
Often during my break at work at the car wash I saw my co workers praying bowing down and kneeling being intimate with their God. I asked myself why I can't I be intimate with Jesus, or Beto, Ramon, or Manuel.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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