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Quote# 13142

For a long time, I thought the idea of life after death was really bogus. I mean, if your dead, how can you be alive? That don't make any sense at all.

The other day I was listening to the Cannibal Corps's first CD, Eaten back to life. It's the one that has that old classic, Skull full of maggots, on it. Anyway, while listening to it, I realized how God will give us life after death. God will kill the dead back to life.

The way it works is if you are alive and some one kills you, you are then dead. However, if someone kills you after you are already dead, they kill you back to life.

PhenomenalXtronophobus, Christian Forums 58 Comments [7/19/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
WTF?! || meh
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SPark2001

So if I shoot a guy in the head and then shoot him again, he'll come back to life?
AWESOME! (grabs shotgun).

7/19/2006 5:02:26 PM

David D.G.

Just because you can string words together doesn't mean they convey a meaningful concept -- and this concept is about as nonsensical as they get.


~David D.G.

7/19/2006 5:06:27 PM

NotMe

Yep, God killing you in this life isn't enough. he has to kill you when you are dead so that he can begin torturing you all over again.

7/19/2006 5:06:42 PM

Bone_Vulture

...

What the hell?

*Listens to \"Deathklaat\" by Six Feet Under*

7/19/2006 5:06:51 PM

bigevildan

But what happens if you kill a zombie? This is all so confusing!

7/19/2006 5:08:38 PM

Star Cluster

I'm afraid your mind has already died and forgot to tell your body. If you're basing your religious beliefs and/or insights on a Heavy Metal bands lyrics, you are the poster child for brain dead.

7/19/2006 5:15:11 PM

Dr. Major

If two people shoot you at the same time do you antidie?

:Bigevildan - Zombies aren't dead, they are undead.

7/19/2006 5:23:52 PM

Alejandro

Please tell me you are less than ten years old...

7/19/2006 5:39:03 PM

Blurb

I think we need an age cut-off for submitted quotes. How about no quotes from anyone less than 18 years old? (if possible to know, or at least infer) Otherwise, it makes us look like a bunch of play yard kids picking on the special-ed class.

7/19/2006 5:56:33 PM

honestchristian

\"God will kill the dead back to life\" ?? Theology major

7/19/2006 5:56:52 PM

MK

Blurb - In that case, I'd raise the age to 25, minimum. Have you seen what some 20-somethings are capable of posting?

7/19/2006 5:57:34 PM

Jodie

\"The way it works is if you are alive and some one kills you, you are then dead. However, if someone kills you after you are already dead, they kill you back to life.\"

Keep listening to Cannibal Corpse if you want, but lay off the fundyism and/or the drugs.

7/19/2006 6:05:39 PM

Dante's Virgil

Did anyone else have visions of him running around stabbing corpses & thinking he was doing \"the Lord's work\"?

7/19/2006 6:08:28 PM

honestchristian

I had a vision of him smoking ALOT of pot.

7/19/2006 6:10:48 PM

SPark2001

More like mushrooms. From his backyard.

7/19/2006 6:22:12 PM

TDR

erm. Cannibal Corpse and Christian Forums. That's quite the dichotomy.

7/19/2006 6:22:24 PM

Jeremy

\"God will kill the dead back to life.\"

Just... let me quote that one more time. That's a special kind of stupid.

\"God will kill the dead back to life.\"

I say again.

\"God will kill the dead back to life.\"

HAHAHAHAHAHA

7/19/2006 6:26:06 PM

Oolon Coluphid

Whoa, bitchin' dude!

7/19/2006 6:27:34 PM

Blurb

MK, I agree. But if the law says they're adults, their stupidity is fair game. There just comes a point when a measure of pity should perhaps outweigh their value as fodder, or in some cases, relevance in the larger scheme of things.

7/19/2006 6:36:23 PM

kkkron

that makes no sense. I shot that guy twice in the head, why is he still alive?

7/19/2006 7:20:50 PM

Grey Area

\"God will kill the dead back to life.

The way it works is if you are alive and some one kills you, you are then dead. However, if someone kills you after you are already dead, they kill you back to life.
\"

Soooooo.... which bit of the Bible says that, then?

7/19/2006 7:31:05 PM

Napoleon the Clown

You... Took religious inspiration from a Heavy Metal band? Um, good for you?

7/19/2006 7:37:24 PM

NonHomogenized

This isn't just stupid, this is stupid stupid.

7/19/2006 7:47:17 PM

Jeremy

WTF? Award

7/19/2006 8:15:56 PM

whitewater55

I wish that I could have a hit off of whatever yer smokin, mate! Then this shit might make some semblance of sense.

7/19/2006 9:02:56 PM
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