Quote# 13423

Think of it like this (stupid analogy coming up :D): if you are allowed to live in a room full of candy and eat anything you want (:P), as long as you don't eat any Reses in the meantime. If you do, you and all your friends will be banned from the candy room. Simple as that. But the rest of the room is all great! I mean, free candy, man. That's probably the best deal you can ever get. The only restriction is Reses.

Well you live there happily with your friend for a few days, when one day, your friend (hey, it would've been you eventually, I bet. If not, kudos to you. :P) eats a single Reses cup, because one of the maintenance guys gone bad had told him that they tasted good. He tells you to try one, because it tastes great.

So you eat one (okay, maybe today you wouldn't, knowing what would happen, but these were Adam and Eve here :P) and then you are banned from the candy room. Simple as that.

Now of course, there's candy in the outside world, but you have screwed up on the unlimited supply.

People just keep eating Reses over the years. Eventually, it is just genetically implemented into our system! Every single living [wo]man is born having eaten Reses. It's built-in to mankind.

Mankind has become so poisoned with Reses over the years that we have killed the man who gave us the candy room to begin with! Now he is dead...

But three days later, he is back! He was dead, but now he is alive, because he's the candy man, man! [it goes on like this]

ironmagma, Uru Obsession 81 Comments [7/31/2006 12:00:00 AM]
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So wait, Willy Wonka was dead and now he's back? That's gross.

7/31/2006 3:52:39 PM

David D.G.

If \"World's Cutest Fundie\" hasn't been taken yet for July, this one deserves at least a nomination, hands down!

~David D.G.

7/31/2006 3:58:01 PM


For the last frikkin' time; there is no \"good\" or \"bad\" but that to which we as a species assign the label. It'd be nice to live in such a sharply-defined shelter, but that depressed dude who wrote most of Counting Crows' songs got it right. The world is gray.
No black.
No white.
Please try to wrap your pea-brain around it.

7/31/2006 4:07:57 PM


So... why are the peanut butter cups in the room in the first place?

7/31/2006 4:11:23 PM


Nomination for 'Worst Analogy Ever'?

7/31/2006 4:18:59 PM


Well, at least he admits it's a stupid analogy

7/31/2006 4:20:49 PM


IronMagma, you are absolutely correct. This is a stupid analogy.

7/31/2006 4:28:28 PM


Who can take a sunrise,
sprinkle it with dew,
throw you into Hades
and make charcoal out of you?
The candy man!

7/31/2006 4:42:13 PM


Willy Wonka is God?

7/31/2006 5:12:25 PM


So basically you're just making up a fictional story to explain another fictional story, despite the fact that five year olds are fully capable of understanding the reasoning of the first story? ... Are you mentally ill?

7/31/2006 5:12:33 PM


Willy Wonka is Jesus? I knew it! Does that mean that the chocolate factory is heaven and the oompa-loompas are angels, and only 5 people get to go to heaven ever?

And yes, you were right. It is a stupid analogy, with several holes. How can Reeses be genetically programmed into people? And how would that kill the candy man? Unless, as there is no more need for candy as it is genetically programmed into everyone, he goes bankrupt and starves?

7/31/2006 5:29:29 PM

Mister Spak

\"The only restriction is Reses.\"

\"You got peanut butter on my chocolate!\"

\"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!\"

And so the first religious war begins.

7/31/2006 5:37:14 PM

Star Cluster

What is it with all the online names with iron in them lately?

And is this banned candy similar to Reeses candy? They do make some pretty good stuff.

7/31/2006 5:45:56 PM

Dr. Major

You're just selling reeses aren't you!

7/31/2006 5:49:50 PM

David D.G.

Oh, great. Now I'm going to have Sammy Davis Jr. singing in my head for hours.

Thanks a lot.

~David D.G.

7/31/2006 6:01:47 PM


He is right, it's a stupid analogy. Even more, it's a stupid analogy, badly expressed. And, it's a badly expressed, stupid analogy of truly stupid theology.

I would have thought even a moron would know hopw to spell \"Reeses.\"

Does anyone else find the username \"ironmagma\" gross?

7/31/2006 6:27:22 PM


Man, that's not candy, that's ecstasy.

7/31/2006 6:28:51 PM


I don't know of any reasonable adult who would want to live in a room full of candy. So what would that tell you about reasonable people and bible stories? Not to mention the analogy is really stupid...

7/31/2006 7:14:27 PM

Tak, the Hideous New Girl

I want a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup rightnow!

7/31/2006 7:33:58 PM


Well I've never liked Reese's anyway. Idiot.

7/31/2006 8:15:37 PM


One thing he got right - it was a stupid analogy.

7/31/2006 8:43:43 PM


So, what, the moral of the story is to do what you're told, even when it makes absolutely no sense and has no obvious derivation, and you're not allowed to ask why?

7/31/2006 8:47:59 PM


The differnce is that Adam and Eve didn't know that it was bad to not listen. They had no knowledge of either good or evil. How can you expect someone to keep his word if he does not know about (and therefore does not care about) good or evil?

7/31/2006 9:13:02 PM


David D.G. wrote:

\"Oh, great. Now I'm going to have Sammy Davis Jr. singing in my head for hours.

Thanks a lot.\"

Sorry David. But as long as Sammy's there, I may as well give him the chorus:

The candyman makes everyone he bakes
wish they never had existed,
wish their names had not been listed,
when He made the world, ham-fisted.

7/31/2006 9:19:09 PM


crack - this is your brain
ssssss- this is your brain on drugs
ssss-boom-bah - the sound of an exploding sheep
crack crack crack
the sound of my head, bouncing off the keyboard after reading this inanity.

7/31/2006 9:24:47 PM

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