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Quote# 13423

Think of it like this (stupid analogy coming up :D): if you are allowed to live in a room full of candy and eat anything you want (:P), as long as you don't eat any Reses in the meantime. If you do, you and all your friends will be banned from the candy room. Simple as that. But the rest of the room is all great! I mean, free candy, man. That's probably the best deal you can ever get. The only restriction is Reses.

Well you live there happily with your friend for a few days, when one day, your friend (hey, it would've been you eventually, I bet. If not, kudos to you. :P) eats a single Reses cup, because one of the maintenance guys gone bad had told him that they tasted good. He tells you to try one, because it tastes great.

So you eat one (okay, maybe today you wouldn't, knowing what would happen, but these were Adam and Eve here :P) and then you are banned from the candy room. Simple as that.

Now of course, there's candy in the outside world, but you have screwed up on the unlimited supply.

People just keep eating Reses over the years. Eventually, it is just genetically implemented into our system! Every single living [wo]man is born having eaten Reses. It's built-in to mankind.

Mankind has become so poisoned with Reses over the years that we have killed the man who gave us the candy room to begin with! Now he is dead...

But three days later, he is back! He was dead, but now he is alive, because he's the candy man, man! [it goes on like this]

ironmagma, Uru Obsession 76 Comments [7/31/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8
WTF?! || meh
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Hadanelith

.............what the hell is wrong with you?

7/31/2006 10:09:34 PM

Jacob Syne

Cute. But stupid.

7/31/2006 10:28:30 PM

Napoleon the Clown

...

Were you molested by one of those delicious peanunt butter cups?

7/31/2006 10:56:40 PM

Crosis

<<< (stupid analogy coming up :D) >>>

Actually, as analogies go, it's pretty apt - it falls prey to all the same arguments as the Garden of Eden tale. Usually they try to make an analogy that ignores important differences between the two things being compared. This one doesn't.

Not that it really helps his case to have made an accurate analogy.

7/31/2006 11:58:54 PM

matt

holy shit! its like he completely misunderstands the things he says he believes in.

oh wait, thats like 98% of christians.

8/1/2006 12:05:59 AM

anon

It's so sad when weirdo cute ones like this don't get enough airtime because it's the end of the month.

8/1/2006 12:46:36 AM

JadedRevenge

WTF is a reses... is it peanut butter?

8/1/2006 1:25:51 AM

Mary Sunshine

I've only got one question: What do you do with all the wrappers? Cause they could bring mice and roaches if you don't dispose of them properly.

Just wondering.

8/1/2006 2:30:21 AM

R. D.

Dude, if it came down to eternal damnation or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups... I'd have to think long and hard about how bad damnation would really be.

8/1/2006 4:53:52 AM

Sierra

So we do stuff, try to make a difference in the world, make it less Reses and more Starburst. Even the people who eat Reses 24/7 can still be purged.


Why does this remind me so much of Care Bear ethnic cleansing?

8/1/2006 5:11:06 AM

Maronan

People just keep eating Reses over the years. Eventually, it is just genetically implemented into our system! Every single living [wo]man is born having eaten Reses. It's built-in to mankind.


So... If your ancestors all do something, you're born already having done it?

I guess Jesus wasn't born to a virgin, then.

8/1/2006 6:06:55 AM

NonHomogenized

Maybe the forbidden candy was actually the rhesus peanut butter cup?

http://plif.andkon.com/archive/wc007.gif

8/1/2006 7:34:33 AM

Julian

*sigh* - Yet another fundy that thinks people don't believe in the bible because they can't understand it; whereas reality dictates the opposite must hold.

8/1/2006 8:22:39 AM

tzisorey

Jesus is a Pinata - lets hit him with a stick!

8/1/2006 11:12:23 AM

David D.G.

JadedRevenge, the full name (note the proper spelling) is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They are roughly disc shaped, about a centimeter thick and about four across, and are chocolate on the outside and peanut butter on the inside.

Yeah, it's kind of essential to the analogy that you understand WHY this would be so tempting. Trust me, he had that much of it right. But that's about it.


~David D.G.

8/1/2006 2:10:18 PM

tracer

What is it with all the online names with iron in them lately?

Obviously, it's a reference to iron chariots -- the one thing in the universe God is powerless against.

Yahweh's kryptonite, if you will.

8/3/2006 7:45:24 PM

Redhunter

So it would be MY fault there were \"maintenance guys gone bad\"? What do you have against the Reece's corp? Why did you explain a stupid story full of holes with an even stupider story full of even more holes? What are you smoking? And finally, can I have a hit?

8/14/2006 6:31:43 AM

zib

mmm candy...

9/10/2006 6:59:01 PM

cyborgtroy

Eating does not work that way.

11/14/2007 10:14:19 AM

Laura di Noves

Look, this would mean that eating apples in ingrained into the human spirit?? What?

2/27/2009 4:08:35 PM

Ranger Joe

Jesus has candy.....Get in the van

2/27/2009 4:10:26 PM

GigaGuess

So it comes back to the same question. If God didn't want people to eat the Reece's, why did he leave it there with them? Why not at least make it difficult to get to? Why have it at all? Seems like setting someone up for a fall to me.

2/27/2009 9:25:28 PM

Arts_Myth

"Hey, you got your terrible analogy all over my piss-poor theology!"

"You got your piss-poor theology all over my terrible analogy!"

"Bleagh! I think they're toxic together!"

2/27/2009 9:45:36 PM



Oh well. A candy room without Reese's just isn't worth having. Besides, all that candy would give me diabetes.

2/27/2009 9:53:39 PM

Darwin's Lil' Girl

I hate Reeses, actually.

2/28/2009 1:10:10 AM
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