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Quote# 14400

COMFORTER,
TODAY, AFTER READING A BOOK CALLED "PORTALS TO CLEANSING" BY DR. HENRY MALONE, I DECIDED I NEEDED TO HAVE MY ANIMALS DELIVERED AS WELL. I STARTED WITH MY CAT. I HAVE ALREADY ANOINTED THEM AND PLED THE BLOOD OVER THEM, BUT I DECIDED THEY NEEDED A DELIVERANCE AS WELL.
I ANOINTED HER WITH OIL IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. THEN I DEDICATED HER TO THE LORD. THEN I BEGAN THE DELIVERANCE. AS SOON AS I TOLD THE EVIL FORCES TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, THE CAT DID TOO ! SHE RAN FROM ME AND HID. THEN, SHE RAN TO THE DOOR. SHE LOOKED FRIGHTENED. SO, LOOKING HER IN THE EYE, AND BEING ABLE TO TELL THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE BESIDES HER, I COMMANDED THEM TO LEAVE HER BODY IMMEDIATELY AS SHE IS DEDICATED TO JESUS CHRIST AND HIS PROPERTY. I LET HER OUTSIDE AND SHE YAWNED...WHICH IS AN INDICATION THEY ARE LEAVING. SHE STAYED OUTSIDE, DESPITE THE WIND BLOWING HARD. THEN, AFTER ABOUT 10-15 MINUTES SHE CAME BACK IN. SHE SEEMS DIFFERENT. IN A GOOD WAY. I GUESS THE DOG IS NEXT.
COMFORTER, ANY THOUGHTS OR ADVICE?

Guest, War of the Angels 157 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 20
Submitted By: Strife Coltrane
WTF?! || meh
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Wolf O'Donnell (SWHQ)

Yes, call PETA and tell them what you're doing. I'm sure they'll only be too glad to help you with your animal problems.

9/1/2006 1:22:53 PM

Nezu Chiza

So let me get this straight. Your cat freaked because you were doing something she wasn't used to, and that means she was purged of demons or something when she calmed down?

...you are batshit INSANE. Also, your capslock is broken.

9/1/2006 1:50:32 PM

Theironpaperclip

Cats have souls that can be possesed? I thought all dogs go to heaven, this does not make sence. Why would the cats want to be near the dogs.

9/1/2006 2:05:33 PM

Melf

Bwahahaha

9/1/2006 2:14:54 PM

Mister Spak

\"SHE LOOKED FRIGHTENED.

If I was in the same room with you I would be frightened too.

9/1/2006 2:22:21 PM

Wolight

Cats do not like water, be it normal or holy. The yelling of \"Out demons!\" Probably didn't help either. The dog will stare at you with a confused look through the entire process.

Besides, I thought you knew cats were a bastion of paganism <_<

9/1/2006 2:29:47 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Either your internet connection is via a TRS-80 model 1, or you don't know how to use the shift key.

9/1/2006 2:31:45 PM

Chan

So, I suppose you really pled a lot of blood over your cat after anointing her with oil.

The dog probably won't react much better, but at least he might stand still for the anointing with that \"Why?!!\" look they get when you give 'em a bath.

9/1/2006 3:32:44 PM

Seppe

Here's some advice for the dog.

RUN!

9/1/2006 3:50:39 PM

Prager

This is one of the most moronic things I've ever read!

9/1/2006 3:54:54 PM

JadedRevenge

Okay here's what I imgagined happened. After doing some of your witchcraft you shouted at the demons inside the cat, freaking the poor thing half to death and thus instinctively ran from you. You then let it out, and nothing unusual happened.

As for thoughts, I think you need help.
Advice, get help.

9/1/2006 4:16:04 PM

Libkitten

I have an idea... give me your demon cat. I'll spoil it and pet it and not care if its possessed. That way you don't have to worry about demons and I get a cat.

9/1/2006 4:27:27 PM

Austin

Pet Psychic Award.

9/1/2006 4:33:54 PM

Hadanelith

CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. That is all. I refuse to actually read this affront to my eyes.

9/1/2006 4:38:18 PM

ProperJob

The cat is obviously the brains of the outfit here. When someone glares at you, yammers about demons and starts throwing water at you, it's time to leave.

9/1/2006 4:43:24 PM

Alejandro

I refuse to read that post, it makes my eyes and brain hurt. Can anybody render it in non-caps?

9/1/2006 4:45:39 PM

Napoleon the Clown

Better go check and make sure the cat didn't kill anything out there.

Or get laid. I'm sure the cat would be happier after that.

Here you go, Alejandro.

comforter,
today, after reading a book called \"portals to cleansing\" by dr. henry malone, i decided i needed to have my animals delivered as well. i started with my cat. i have already anointed them and pled the blood over them, but i decided they needed a deliverance as well.
i anointed her with oil in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. then i dedicated her to the lord. then i began the deliverance. as soon as i told the evil forces to leave immediately, the cat did too ! she ran from me and hid. then, she ran to the door. she looked frightened. so, looking her in the eye, and being able to tell there was something there besides her, i commanded them to leave her body immediately as she is dedicated to jesus christ and his property. i let her outside and she yawned...which is an indication they are leaving. she stayed outside, despite the wind blowing hard. then, after about 10-15 minutes she came back in. she seems different. in a good way. i guess the dog is next.
comforter, any thoughts or advice?



9/1/2006 5:44:06 PM

Star Cluster

Any thoughts or Advice?

Yes, seek help immediately. In most areas, there are professional counselors available even if it has to be at no cost to you. Just get help.

9/1/2006 6:15:25 PM

shell

For some reason \"I GUESS THE DOG IS NEXT\" makes me giggle uncontrollably.

It's like, I see Guest dusting off her (his?) hands and going, \"OK, that went well.\" *shrug* \"Guess it's time to annoint the dog!\"

9/1/2006 6:16:47 PM

Coffee

Here's hoping the dog piddles on Guest's foot.

9/1/2006 6:31:28 PM

Uh\\, Just some guy....Ruler of Omicron Persei 8

What a fucking moron!

9/1/2006 7:10:58 PM

Mr. Turquoise

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

Mr. Turquoise

9/1/2006 7:25:09 PM

MAGPie

Poe's Law? Please?

9/1/2006 7:42:33 PM

bobo

Smart kitty run run

9/1/2006 7:52:43 PM

Amigone201

I GUESS THE DOG IS NEXT.
COMFORTER, ANY THOUGHTS OR ADVICE?\"
YES, I HAVE SOME ADVICE! FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP TORTURING YOUR ANIMALS!! AND WHY ARE WE YELLING???

9/1/2006 8:36:28 PM
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