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Quote# 14401

[A conversation that would supposedly happen between an exorsist and a possessed person]

Demon: I'm not coming out...
Exorcist: What are your legal grounds?
Demon: I don't have to tell you anything...
Exorcist: Yes you do, I command you to tell me what your legal grounds are in Jesus' name.
Demon: Stop saying that name...
Exorcist: Tell me in Jesus' name...
Demon: Shut up
Exorcist: The Lord Jesus rebukes you...now tell me your legal grounds
Demon: all right, all right, just stop saying that name...I've been in his family for 6 generations...his ancestors were lazy and I've kept them lazy for 6 generations
Exorcist: Well, I break the curse of laziness going back 10 generations on both sides of his family in Jesus' name
Demon: Nooooooooooo!!!!!! You can't do that...I've worked so hard...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (lunges at exorcist while cursing and gritting his teeth...eyes are bloodshot and bulging)
Exorcist: I BIND YOU IN JESUS' NAME...You don't have permission to move a muscle...I break every curse of laziness on both sides of his family going back 10 generations in Jesus' name.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOO!!!! We're going to kill him first and then you!!!!
Exorcist: No you aren't, I cancel those plans in Jesus' name. Now make your way to where the Lord Jesus is commanding you to go.
Demon: NO, I refuse!!!
Exorcist: Okay, angels, show this demon who's boss. Let's sprinkle the blood of Jesus on all his family lines in both directions...through his ancestors and his descendants. Let's also clear up the lines of his siblings and their descendants.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! You can't...I can't believe you did that...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Exorcist: For good measure, let's hit slothfulness as well in Jesus' name
Demon: You *@@#%*!!!! (attempts to lunge at exorcist again but stops cold in his tracks as the Holy Spirit is holding him in place) You are so lucky those angels are holding me...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Exorcist: Enough with your nonsense, it's time to go...I loose the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit to consume you.
Demon: NOOOOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! (Demon leaves, victim slouches in the chair or onto the floor totally limp)
Exorcist: Father, I ask that you now restore this person and reverse the effects of the sin in his life.
Victim: What just happened?
Exorcist: How do you feel?
Victim: I feel so light...like a weight got lifted off of me...wow...I feel free...
Exorcist: (with a smile on his face) That's because you are...Praise the Lord!

As you can see from this dialog, its not mental illness. This is an intelligent conversation and with something that believes it has a right to maintain residence within the victim.

Comforter, WaroftheAngels.org 87 Comments [9/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Garret
WTF?! || meh
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Wolf O'Donnell (SWHQ)

No, that's clearly mental illness.

9/1/2006 1:23:59 PM

MD20/20

Not only is that a clear case of mental illnes, the fact that you see this as proof of your god is also a clear indication of mental illness.

9/1/2006 1:48:33 PM

Nezu Chiza

How can you use an imaginary conversation as proof it's not mental illness? When I was a kid and talked to my imaginary friend, did that make him real? o.O

9/1/2006 1:49:00 PM

Puistokemisti

This is hilarious

9/1/2006 2:00:12 PM

Theironpaperclip

These fundies are now having mental battle's between demons and exorcists. Is this good or bad?

9/1/2006 2:00:54 PM

shell

Ouch. Bad dialogue is so painful.

9/1/2006 2:08:57 PM

Gregory House, M.D.

Remember people, everybody lies. It seems that religious people lie much more than others.

9/1/2006 2:20:31 PM

Mister Spak

\"This is an intelligent conversation and with something . . .\"

I don't see the intelligence here.

9/1/2006 2:24:39 PM

ND

\"Exorcist: What are your legal grounds?\"

Well, posession is nine tenths of the law.

9/1/2006 2:26:50 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Describing how you imagine an observation would be does not constitute observation.

And ND, that was bad. Really bad.

9/1/2006 2:30:01 PM

shell

I disagree, ND. That was AWESOME.

9/1/2006 2:55:49 PM

Chan

That reads like a rejected script for a Star Wars movie....

ND: Keyboard!

9/1/2006 3:27:51 PM

JadedRevenge

Its like this exorcist is a really corny hero. I mean \"I cancel your plans\" wtf, since when would sly stop some guy from killing somebody and say \"your plans have been canceled\"

In all honesty the logic behidn it reads like an anime script \"I BIND YOU IN JESUS' NAME...You don't have permission to move a muscle...I break every curse of laziness on both sides of his family going back 10 generations in Jesus' name.\" Again, wtf, is he rolling dice as he does this.

Scary script writing skills man.

9/1/2006 4:04:15 PM

Libkitten

Yes, this conversation has certainly convinced ME that demons aren't made up at all.

What exactly is you definition of \"intelligent argument?\"

9/1/2006 4:28:49 PM

xMinionX

How come the demon speaks like a 14 year old boy?

9/1/2006 4:31:44 PM

b. beau brinker

What, no head spinning? No barfing pea soup?

9/1/2006 4:33:54 PM

Dana

Wait, I'm confused. If you \"break the curse of laziness going back 10 generations\", does that mean that history is rewritten so that his ancestors weren't lazy at all, so his family had great success, so he never felt the need to go to an exorcist? And then, if the exorcism never occurred, it actually would! I smell a time travelling type plothole here.

9/1/2006 4:35:52 PM

ProperJob

This reads like the dialogue of a comic I drew when I was 6. Only it was without this crap about demons, angels and 'teh Lawd'.

9/1/2006 4:48:25 PM

CousinTed

I'm glad they didn't hire Comforter to write the dialog for The Exorcist.

9/1/2006 5:14:34 PM

Prager

No, this is an example of really bad creative writing. No demons here. (Except for the one responsible for the lame dialogue.)

9/1/2006 5:33:41 PM

Napoleon the Clown

If that's proof of a demon infestation, it's also proof of how evil your God really is.

Obviosuly, this person's never talked to someone who has mental illness.

9/1/2006 5:48:18 PM

Sandman

I'm sorry, but my unintentional irony detector imploded at the words \"intelligent conversation.\"

9/1/2006 6:29:27 PM

Uh\\, Just some guy....Ruler of Omicron Persei 8

\"I loose the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit to consume you.\"

So, the Holy Spirit is hell?

9/1/2006 7:09:35 PM

MK

I dunno - that demon seemed pretty dumb, to the point of contrivance.

9/1/2006 8:17:54 PM

Crosis

Hearing voices in your head isn't a good sign. Holding a conversation with them is quite a bit worse.

9/1/2006 8:50:33 PM
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