Comforter #fundie waroftheangels.org

[A conversation that would supposedly happen between an exorsist and a possessed person]

Demon: I'm not coming out...
Exorcist: What are your legal grounds?
Demon: I don't have to tell you anything...
Exorcist: Yes you do, I command you to tell me what your legal grounds are in Jesus' name.
Demon: Stop saying that name...
Exorcist: Tell me in Jesus' name...
Demon: Shut up
Exorcist: The Lord Jesus rebukes you...now tell me your legal grounds
Demon: all right, all right, just stop saying that name...I've been in his family for 6 generations...his ancestors were lazy and I've kept them lazy for 6 generations
Exorcist: Well, I break the curse of laziness going back 10 generations on both sides of his family in Jesus' name
Demon: Nooooooooooo!!!!!! You can't do that...I've worked so hard...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (lunges at exorcist while cursing and gritting his teeth...eyes are bloodshot and bulging)
Exorcist: I BIND YOU IN JESUS' NAME...You don't have permission to move a muscle...I break every curse of laziness on both sides of his family going back 10 generations in Jesus' name.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOO!!!! We're going to kill him first and then you!!!!
Exorcist: No you aren't, I cancel those plans in Jesus' name. Now make your way to where the Lord Jesus is commanding you to go.
Demon: NO, I refuse!!!
Exorcist: Okay, angels, show this demon who's boss. Let's sprinkle the blood of Jesus on all his family lines in both directions...through his ancestors and his descendants. Let's also clear up the lines of his siblings and their descendants.
Demon: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! You can't...I can't believe you did that...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Exorcist: For good measure, let's hit slothfulness as well in Jesus' name
Demon: You *@@#%*!!!! (attempts to lunge at exorcist again but stops cold in his tracks as the Holy Spirit is holding him in place) You are so lucky those angels are holding me...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Exorcist: Enough with your nonsense, it's time to go...I loose the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit to consume you.
Demon: NOOOOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! (Demon leaves, victim slouches in the chair or onto the floor totally limp)
Exorcist: Father, I ask that you now restore this person and reverse the effects of the sin in his life.
Victim: What just happened?
Exorcist: How do you feel?
Victim: I feel so light...like a weight got lifted off of me...wow...I feel free...
Exorcist: (with a smile on his face) That's because you are...Praise the Lord!

As you can see from this dialog, its not mental illness. This is an intelligent conversation and with something that believes it has a right to maintain residence within the victim.

90 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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