Isa 19:19-20 explains where and when Jesus will return again. This is my theory, even though I pray daily - "Please Lord Jesus, tell me where and when will you return?" But God will not answer because of Satan's pychic power to read minds of all Christians and atheists. That's why the bible symbolic prophecies are not literal, otherwise Satan will know when to hide and avoid Jesus from destroying his human disguise and sent him back to hell.
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"Isa 19:19-20 explains where and when Jesus will return again."Hogwash! Isa 19:20 says that God will send EGYPT a savior, a great one who shall deliver them. When did "God" send such a savior to Egypt?
"This is my theory, even though I pray daily - 'Please Lord Jesus, tell me where and when will you return?'"
You have a theory, even though you pray every day? Huh?
"But God will not answer because of Satan's pychic power to read minds of all Christians and atheists."
No, you receive no answer because there is no God. Satan is also an imaginary being, but if we assume for a moment that Satan DOES exist, why would his purported ability to read atheist's minds be relevant to your case. Are you an atheist?
"That's why the bible symbolic prophecies are not literal, otherwise Satan will know when to hide and avoid Jesus from destroying his human disguise and sent him back to hell.
This is one of the most popular of apologists' dodges. Anything they wish was a prophecy, but is patently false, is deemed to be figurative or metaphoric. There is no reason to believe that Isa 19:19-20 are not meant to be considered literally.
Why would God/Jesus need to wait for his return to earth to kill Satan. God/Jesus is supposed to be omnipotent. If killing Satan was something he desired, he should be able to do it at any time, the sooner the better one would think.
Well, God probably is a little fed up of your arrogance. He says that we are not to know the day and the time. However, you have your scapegoat, Satan who, being just a subordinate to God, has, nonetheless, powers to put him into ridicule. Please, how old are you?
And even if he does have the psychic power to read men's minds (that is, if Satan were real to begin with,) it would be a power given to him by your Gawd since He created everything. So following your logic, Satan has the ability to hide from Jesus(God) even though God is omniscient therefore making it impossible to hide from Him.
"But God will not answer because of Satan's pychic power to read minds of all Christians and atheists."
That's exactly what I thought, g-21. Why is Satan's mind reading-power limited to Christians and Atheists?
So you're saying Satan is so powerful and mystical that he can hide from God-all seeing, all knowing, all powerful. Satan must be pretty powerful! Think I'll go worship Satan, you know, just to terrify you little christian buggers...
If you know God isn't going to answer you because of Satan's psychic power, why do you continue to pray every day? You seem to be making a case for Satan-worship here, since he's apparently able to outsmart God.
Acts
So the bible explains where and when jesus will return. Why doens't satan crack a bible. If your primitive brain found the answer, what makes you think the great satan couldn't? Satan might be able to read the mind of a fundie, but I bet he can't figure out what it means.
Isa 19:19-20 explains where and when Jesus will return again. This is my theory...
No wonder you people call evolution "just a theory."
...even though I pray daily - "Please Lord Jesus, tell me where and when will you return?" But God will not answer because of Satan's pychic power to read minds of all Christians and atheists.
Why doesn't God simply prevent Satan from reading your mind? He's omnipotent, isn't he? Or maybe he's omniscient, and is predestined to withhold this knowledge.
That's why the bible symbolic prophecies are not literal, otherwise Satan will know when to hide and avoid Jesus from destroying his human disguise and sent him back to hell.
Satan is more powerful than God and can avoid being destroyed by God provided he knows when Jesus will return, so God puts that information right into the Bible. Except, he doesn't write it literally so Satan can't find out, which means that his followers won't be able to find out, making the whole enterprise rather pointless. Of course, if Satan were stupid, God could make the prophecy simple enough for his followers and too complex for Satan, but if Satan were that stupid, there'd be no need for any form of code. Furthermore, you've already said that Satan is psychic, so the Bible prophecy would have to be encoded in a way that neither atheists nor Christians could understand lest Satan glean it from their minds, which probably defeats the purpose, since it was meant for the Christians.
@g-21-ltoWhat a wimpy God you've built for yourself there. And come to think of it, why can't Satan read the minds of the Muslims, the Hindus, the Buddhists, ... you get my drift. Seems a little arbitrary. Just sayin'.
It's not arbitrary. Satan can't read the minds of Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists because Muslims are protected by Allah, Hindus are protected by Vishnu, and Enlightenment confers +12 Psychic Resistance. The only people who can be subjected to Satan's mind-reading are atheists, because they have no god to defend them, and Christians, because their god is too wimpy, as you explained.
Of course, Satan can't read my mind! I have a Mind Shield and I have a +16 Rationality modifier, which enables me to realize that Satan is imaginary, and thus unable to read my mind.
Shit...wrong quote.
Sorry about that....
because of Satan's pychic power to read minds of all Christians and atheists
So Satan can't read the minds of Hindus, Buddhists, or Wiccans? Always cracks me up how fundies seem to think of everything as "Our religion, and nothing". As if no one out there has any differing view of God.
The implication being that Satan is currently residing on Earth in a human disguise ?
Hmmm, *** eyes neighbour suspiciously ***
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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