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Quote# 1495

There was ONE demon, which would manifest by making walking sounds on the roof at various times of the day, and at various places. One night, I bowed my head in prayer to God that God would get rid of the demon, and the demon 'hot-footed' it to a corner of the house, and the walking sounds ceased, and never returned.

Douglas J. Bender, Internet Infidels 16 Comments [11/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
WTF?! || meh


No, stupid, it was Santa's reindeer.

12/8/2006 4:57:22 AM

David D.G.

Yeah, I always suspected that squirrels were demons.

~David D.G.

12/8/2006 5:02:46 AM


Yeah, I've got that too. It's called squirrels living in your walls. They will move back out in the Spring.

12/8/2006 8:55:00 AM


Really, I didn't know God was in the pest control business. I guess you learn something new everyday :)

12/8/2006 1:14:14 PM


I think the name of that demon was Birds.

10/18/2009 12:33:23 PM


No, that was a raccoon and it's been in my trash ever since. Fuck you, Doug.

10/18/2009 12:53:46 PM


That limb broke off or the wind died down or that squrrel died or,,, etc..

Come back when there isn't some other explanation

10/18/2009 3:52:43 PM


There are many people with the same story, then that piece of loose eavestrough finally fell off.

If you could investigate your enviroment and your house once and a while you'd notice something called reality. Don't pray if your roof leaks, stupid, fix it.

10/18/2009 3:59:31 PM


Why would a demon do this? for what purpose? If I was a demon I'd be an incubus.

10/18/2009 5:09:52 PM

Jack D

Praise Jesus! A raccoon knew that the seasons had changed.

10/18/2009 8:08:30 PM


Then the TV repairman came to your door and told you he was done installing your new satellite dish.

10/24/2009 2:56:52 AM


So now you have a demon standing in a corner on your roof?

10/24/2009 4:37:52 AM

Neon Elf

So, the house finally finished settling, huh?

10/24/2009 12:33:17 PM

Crimson Lizard

Nothing is too petty to be attributed to demonic intervention, apparently.

This guy's name is "Bender"? Seriously?

8/14/2012 7:25:39 AM

Filin De Blanc

I must confess, I like the "hot-footed" pun.

8/14/2012 8:22:58 AM

We have strange smattering sounds in our living-room floor. Instead of bowing my head in prayer to God, I observed reality, and realized that shortly after our geothermal heat pump shuts down, the strange sound came. I then googled it and found that this is a fairly normal irritation with heaters that don't run constantly.

Sure, the sound will not cease, and it will return. When winter comes and the heater will work more and harder, the sound will probably be much less frequent. But I'm still confident that there are no demons in our floorboards.

8/14/2012 8:26:47 AM