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Quote# 1502

The parting of the Red Sea? Must have been a really windy day, that's all. Wood staffs turned into snakes? Well, there must be a perfectly naturalistic explanation - apparently, trees evolved into snakes.

Douglas J. Bender, Internet Infidels 20 Comments [11/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
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aaa

What?

4/2/2008 12:14:13 PM

El Guapo

I have a very reasonable explanation for the parting of the Red Sea account in the bible. My explanation is parsimonious and supported by available evidence.

Ready?

Its a myth. It was a story that someone made up. This requires no ad hoc explanation (like unusual weather patterns, earthquakes, or deities) and people are known to make shit up all the time. We call the best ones novelists and we pay them to do it. Further, since people are always making shit up and writing it down, but to my knowledge a sea has never spontaneously "parted" (whatever that means), my explanation is supported by evidence.

I didn't even need to think too hard to come up with that one.

If you are interested, I have some pretty good explanations for the great flood, the wedding at Caana and the resurrection of Jesus. Although you may be able to guess what they are on your own.

4/2/2008 1:07:33 PM

Cabraxas

Just for interest: A conservative estimate of biblical numbers says that there were around 2 million Israelites that fled Egypt. They wandered the wilderness for 40 years. If (a big 'if') you can feed 200 people for a day from one cow, and if you can survive in the wilderness on about 3 litres of water per day,,,,, would anyone care to hazard a guess on where you can find 10,000 cows and 6 million litres of water per day in the wilderness,,, every day for 40 years ?

4/2/2008 1:28:53 PM



I think he's just mocking Bible skeptics by giving absurd theories.

4/2/2008 2:02:39 PM



Or all that is a fairy tale.

7/29/2008 6:33:30 PM

naturally_deselected

The parting of the Red Sea? Must have not happened, that's all. Wood staffs turned into snakes? Well, there must be a perfectly naturalistic explanation - apparently, it didn't happen.

4/25/2009 10:39:46 AM

Evilutionist

There is a perfectly logical explanation: the bible is fiction.

5/9/2009 1:39:17 AM

Nowonmai

I love it when fundies try to use sarcasm explain GODDIDIT.

5/9/2009 2:35:58 AM

Sheik yer Bouti

Religious Israeli anthroplogists tell us that Exodus appears to be fiction.
Everyone likes a good story though.

5/9/2009 6:15:47 AM



I call troll

1/8/2011 4:24:09 PM

anti-nonsense

the actual explanation is that somebody made those stories up.

Also, evolution doesn't work that way.

1/8/2011 4:35:17 PM



Actually, the "really windy day" is a plausible explanation if you consider that the actual translation of "Red Sea" should be "Reed Sea", or Lake Timsah, a much shallower body of water prone to low tides and windy days that caused it to dry up.

The "trees into snakes" part of this quote is nonsense, of course.

1/8/2011 11:48:03 PM

shunyata

What?

1/9/2011 6:11:02 AM

meme

lol

1/29/2012 12:58:54 PM

David F Mayer

Commenting on:

"Cabraxas

Just for interest: A conservative estimate of biblical numbers says that there were around 2 million Israelites that fled Egypt. They wandered the wilderness for 40 years. If (a big 'if') you can feed 200 people for a day from one cow, and if you can survive in the wilderness on about 3 litres of water per day,,,,, would anyone care to hazard a guess on where you can find 10,000 cows and 6 million litres of water per day in the wilderness,,, every day for 40 years ? "

I have BEEN on that desert, and I drank an average of one liter of water per hour from 10 AM through 8 PM. Three liters per person per day is not nearly enough, ten is a better estimate. Of course, that just makes Cabraxas' argument stronger.

Actually, I suspect that the Israelite emigration from Egypt included more like 5,000 persons, which would require at 10 liters per day about 50 tons of water total per day. There WERE oases in that desert in Moses' time where such quantities were available. But enough water for millions, absurd. Also, I suspect that the migration took 40 days, not forty years. Exaggeration is permissible in mythology. It is easily possible for a person with proper equipment to walk from Cairo to Jerusalem in 40 days, a road distance of only about 500 kilometers, which would mean about 12.5 kilometers per day.

1/29/2012 3:45:50 PM

Quantum Mechanic

Myths are always easy to explain.

1/29/2012 4:00:46 PM



"I think he's just mocking Bible skeptics by giving absurd theories."

Bingo. And I love how Bible skeptics claim the Red Sea crossing is just a myth, yet the people and nation of Israel exist to this day, and there have been chariots found at the bottom of the Red Sea.

10/21/2012 10:59:57 AM

Dr.Shrinker

@ #1461148

"I love how Bible skeptics claim the Red Sea crossing is just a myth, yet the people and nation of Israel exist to this day,..."

- The modern nation of Israel was created in 1948 and not by Joshua et al.



"... and there have been chariots found at the bottom of the Red Sea."

- Another myth, or rather an urban legend, or rather a lie promoted by biblical literalists.

Skeptics 2, you 0

11/3/2012 8:36:06 AM

Anon-e-moose

Bible Apologeticists. You will never find a more pathetic hive of Reality denialists and FAIL.

Even Jedi Knights - such as Obi-Wan Kenobi, who fully embraced the Light Side - acknowledge the the Force is an energy field, and what generates such is the Midichlorians in living cells; only those with high Midichlorian counts can manipulate said energy, thus the source of a Jedi's power - and even that of a Dark Side-leaning Sith Lord.

As a Sci-Fantasy scenario, even Square Enix's "Final Fantasy", never mind Disney/Lucasfilm Ltd's "Star Wars" and the Expanded Universe has some semblance of scientific credibility, even if it's far in advance of what we have today, compared to the pure Bantha shit that is the Bible.

The ability to part a body of water is insignificant, next to destroying an entire planet.

@Dr.Shrinker

"@ #1461148

"I love how Bible skeptics claim the Red Sea crossing is just a myth, yet the people and nation of Israel exist to this day,..."

- The modern nation of Israel was created in 1948 and not by Joshua et al."

I don't know if - prior/during previous conflicts vs. that country in the 60s/70s - Vickers and/or our MoD had sold them to such, but if Israel had bought the Abbot Self-Propelled Gun for their IDF, then crossing the Red Sea would be a mere breeze, seeing as the Abbot is an amphibious vehicle. [/smartarse]

11/3/2012 2:23:45 PM

Filin De Blanc

Even if there were chariots at the bottom of the Red Sea, you'd have to be a complete imbecile to think that the biblical Red Sea crossing was literally the only possible explanation.

11/3/2012 2:51:25 PM
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