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Quote# 15347

'Pummel Your Body'
Telephone sex can become addictive. We need to 'pummel our body and lead it as a slave' in order to meet Jehovah's approval. (1 Corinthians 9:27) If you are currently engaging in telephone sex, why not get some help? Telling your Christian parents would be a good start. Yes, they may well be upset with you. But they may also be in the best position to help monitor your behavior so that you don't have a relapse. The elders in your local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses will also be willing and able to help out.

wt, watchtower.org 36 Comments [9/26/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 9
WTF?! || meh
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Murdock

I personally prefer porn to phone sex (it's usually cheaper too). And is this guy actually advocating hurting ourselves rather than do something which comes natural?

9/27/2006 4:10:48 AM

Kelian

You're right, phone sex is terrible. Get a webcam instead.

9/27/2006 4:13:32 AM

CousinTed

>>The elders in your local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses will also be willing and able to help out<<

Nudge Nudge, wink wink.

9/27/2006 4:15:57 AM

Amigone201

If you are currently engaging in telephone sex, why not get some help?
Because you don't need any?

9/27/2006 4:22:02 AM

themann1086

Phone sex is a must for people in a long-distance relationship.

9/27/2006 4:26:19 AM

Hadanelith

CousinTed: ...say no more, say no more!

9/27/2006 4:27:52 AM

Julian

Yes. Are you a teenage slut addicted to phone sex - call this number and your local dirty old man will be with you shortly!

9/27/2006 5:19:02 AM

Julian

If you are currently engaging in telephone sex, why not get some help?

Are you offering T-bagging, full oral or what - hopefully more than just a helping hand or nodding head?

I'll have to ask them in next time the JW's come round...

9/27/2006 5:22:02 AM

Redhunter

But the people calling the phone sex lines are already 'pummeling their bodies', they pummel that little slave until it throws up!

9/27/2006 5:49:38 AM

Napoleon the Clown

Hey, if only 144,000 will be getting in, we may as well enjoy this life as much as we can. Right?

9/27/2006 6:44:00 AM

upallnite

\"We need to 'pummel our body and lead it as a slave' in order to meet Jehovah's approval.\"

How much more does Jehovah want me to beat it?

9/27/2006 6:44:20 AM

Prager

Pummelling in god's name? S and M for god? I never realised Jehovah’s Witnesses were so kinky!

9/27/2006 6:54:05 AM

Matilde

So, let´s pummel our bodies and have no sex in general, regardless of our status. Or not eat, drink, sleep........

9/27/2006 7:54:28 AM

Matilde

Besides, sex outside marriage is bad because it can lead to pregnancy. It doesn´t and is also bad?. Besides, \"your Christian parents will help you\". What if I am a moslem, buddist or atheist?, moreover, aren´t those Christian parents the ones who killed their 12 years old daughter?, and the elders the ones who not only abuse children but also shun people for drinking or smoking?

9/27/2006 7:57:07 AM

Archangel_Lucifer

Thats just plain weird.

9/27/2006 8:08:34 AM

Julian

I've heard of safe sex...



but phone sex????????????


9/27/2006 8:42:52 AM

WritingIsMyReligion

ROFLMFAO.

*wipes tears from eyes*

Oh, gosh, that is one big \"WTF?\" moment.

9/27/2006 10:57:13 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Julian, that's messed up. And very, very funny!

9/27/2006 11:00:50 AM

Mister Spak

\"Telephone sex can become addictive.\"

These people have an addiction to their wacked out religion.

9/27/2006 11:23:00 AM

Wolf O'Donnell (SWHQ)

Pummel your body?

9/27/2006 11:42:25 AM

Sandman

Well, the JH's are pretty much charter members of the Wacko Fundie Club. The idea that your sinful body must be beaten into holy submission is not the strangest one they have. (But it is, ironically, the most unintentionally erotic.)

And I wonder if the elders will help out by providing the phone sex for free so you don't run up your credit card?

9/27/2006 12:36:46 PM

g-21-lto

We need to 'pummel our body and lead it as a slave'

So, this sort of sex can't become addictive? Exactly what sorts of sex can you get addicted to?

9/27/2006 2:02:00 PM

Coffee

Why exactly does Jehovah need you to hurt yourself to win his approval? Sounds kinky right there.

Personally, I think actively loathing your own body is waaaay more fucked up than having sex over the phone.

9/27/2006 2:44:29 PM

David D.G.

I don't think I've ever heard it referred to as \"pummeling\" before; but regardless, I just can't imagine asking one's parents to help out. That's just waaaaay too perverse.


~David D.G.

9/27/2006 2:56:19 PM

Fed Up

Pummel your body and lead it as a slave?

Whatever floats yer boat...

9/27/2006 5:56:28 PM
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