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Quote# 15460

[Bleedingvines post on FSTDT about vampires in the Bible]

[First they found dinosaurs in the bible, now vampires.]

Now hold on just a minute. Just from the quotes I can tell the people on there (at least some, I haven't even looked at the site) obviously know very little about Scripture and context.

The book of Proverbs uses a lot of poetic structure, for example:

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Anyone should be able to discern that this is poetic, not literal. Its meaning should be obvious.

Now about dinosaurs, a large sea creature called 'Leviathan' in the Bible is mentioned (this could be something like a plesiosaur) and an enormous land dwelling creature is mentioned as 'Behemoth' and its legs are described as Cedars (the tree. this could be any number of large dinosaurs for which we've found fossils). THAT'S how they have found mention of dinosaurs in Scripture, not making ridiculous extensions of metaphors into literal meanings.
_________________
"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!"

Commander, StrangeTalk 18 Comments [9/29/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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Brain_In_A_Jar

I'm sorry, are you seriously saying that proverb about fraudsters always getting their comeuppance is actually evidence of the existence of fucking vampires????

9/30/2006 11:02:47 AM

Matilde

I have to admit that the first part is ok. But please, apply the same standards to the Leviathan, and you´ll not be posted any more.

9/30/2006 11:26:46 AM

Tiny Bulcher

... and the vampires are?

9/30/2006 3:26:40 PM

Old Viking

God was being poetic because he didn't want to come right out and say \"dinosaur.\"

9/30/2006 8:07:40 PM

Natgel

Leviathan means 'whale', behemot is the word taht's used to describe large animals.

10/1/2006 3:50:11 AM

Julian

The behemoth was a bull you fuckwit. (not you Natgel)

10/1/2006 4:41:52 AM

David D.G.

Well, as I read this, it seems to me that \"Commander\" is not supporting the vampires claim, but refuting it, saying that such a claim is an attempt to translate a poetic passage literally (though not necessarily this passage about eating gravel). That's perfectly sensible and completely non-fundie.

But then, of course, he has to go and blow it by claiming that the references to leviathan and behemoth are literal references to dinosaurs, when one could just as easily apply that reference to elephants and other large mammals -- and when, in fact, dinosaurs had been extinct for more than 60 million years before human beings ever even came into existence. So that's perfectly nonsensical and totally fundie.

\"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!\"

Well, sure, the DEMONS believe; they've got direct proof just by virtue of being part of the supernatural realm! But we, however, need proof -- not just to believe in God, by the way, but to believe in these demons referenced as well. Good luck with that.


~David D.G.

10/1/2006 10:46:09 PM

Redhunter

I thought the behemoth was supposed to be a hippo.

10/2/2006 7:12:26 AM

Pesto

Submitter here.

The best part about this is that Commander says, \"Just from the quotes I can tell the people on there (referring to FSTDT) obviously known very little about Scripture and context,\" then gets the passage about Behemoth wrong.

10/2/2006 2:15:26 PM

GigaGuess

Leviathans could also be Whales, and Behemoths, Elephants or Rhinos, or hippos...just sayin'...

And the proverb is just saying that if you get something not rightfully yours, karma will bite you in the ass.

2/14/2008 8:11:44 PM

Katsuro

"Now about dinosaurs, a large sea creature called 'Leviathan' in the Bible is mentioned (this could be something like a plesiosaur)"

I know this isn't the biggest issue in this post, but for the last time dinosaurs were fucking land anmials!

2/14/2008 8:18:40 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

And the proverb is just saying that if you get something not rightfully yours, karma will bite you in the ass.
___________________

And this is why the bad guys never win, cheaters never prosper, and the republ . . .
uh, never mind.

2/14/2008 8:22:25 PM

Some Random Guy

@Katsuro:
There were sea-going dinosaurs as well. Pleiosaurs, northosaurs, and many others. Gotta fill all the niches!

Nevertheless, this guy's still an idiot. Why haven't we ever found human bones in the same level as dinosaur bones?

P.S: I've heard that the KJV bowdlerised it - originally, the behemoth had an erection the size of a cedar! Can anybody confirm this?

2/16/2009 9:58:07 AM

Tolpuddle Martyr

You admit that bible stories can have a "poetic" as opposed to an exclusively "literal" meaning. That's a (very small) positive I guess...

2/16/2009 10:05:51 AM

Moondog

It would have been way cool to have the Count from Sesame Street in the babble:
"8, 9, 10 Commandmenta! Ah, ha ha ha!

2/16/2009 9:53:51 PM

Dr.Shrinker

Have you read anything of Job aside from those select passages? The book is dripping with poetic metaphor. The writer was clearly making a work of art to explore a subject which aroused deep emotions. He was NOT writing a zoological text!

11/8/2012 8:58:44 AM

Anon-e-moose

"Now hold on just a minute."

I'm not touching you. I don't want to catch Teh Fundie! EW! X3

"Just from the quotes I can tell the people on there (at least some, I haven't even looked at the site) obviously know very little about Scripture"

>Implying that I've never read the Bible - cover to cover - in my youth, and concluding that it's the biggest load of bollocks I've ever read before or since [/4chan]

"and context."



Context. Context?! Context, MY ARSE! [/Jim Royle]

"The book of Proverbs uses a lot of poetic structure, for example:

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel."

Confucious says: 'Man who chews dung speaks Arse Gravy'. Your point? Oh, and the samples given out at the deli counter(s) in supermarkets. One can effectively have a Free Lunch [/smartarse]. And tastes of not gravel.

"Anyone should be able to discern that this is poetic, not literal. Its meaning should be obvious"

And anyone with a grain of intelligence can discern that the entire Bible is a load of bollocks that has absolutely no right whatsoever to be part of anyone mindset. 100% cover-to-cover worse-than fairy stories throughout; two words: Talking Snake. Just those two alone makes the Bible a load of bollocks blatantly fucking obvious. The only fact about the Bible: It. Is. Fiction. Deal with it.

"Now about dinosaurs, a large sea creature called 'Leviathan' in the Bible is mentioned (this could be something like a plesiosaur) and an enormous land dwelling creature is mentioned as 'Behemoth' and its legs are described as Cedars (the tree. this could be any number of large dinosaurs for which we've found fossils). THAT'S how they have found mention of dinosaurs in Scripture, not making ridiculous extensions of metaphors into literal meanings."

'Metaphors'? Bollocks. If it says it that way, it means it that way, otherwise it's not literal anywhere in such, never mind throughout. Ergo, your 'God' doesn't exist, and your 'beliefs' & 'faith are based on a lie. We Atheists only deal in facts.

Otherwise, why wasn't the Bible written in clear, plain language, without all the florid 'metaphor' bollocks? Because then, it would've been seen - straight from the start - as the load of bollocks it really is, and your so-called 'religion' would've died before it started.

"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!"



There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.

-Bertrand Russell

Can't be theatened by mere metaphors, Cumhander. [/smartarse II]

...oh, and as for 'vampires' in the Bible, as you claim, Cumhander...:



Pics - and stories (with white-hot sex in full & florid detail, making 'Song of Solomon' seem like a Janet & John Reader) - of my hot blonde meganekko vampire Goddess EROfriede in the Bible, or they never happened. After all, 'vampirism' in Gothic fiction is seen as a Metaphor for sexuality. [/smartarse III, and religion strkes out]

11/8/2012 11:30:45 AM

NighStalker160

So if I agree with you that Vampires are in the Bible will you help me convince the Catholic Church to fund me creating my own Dawnguard?

11/8/2012 12:25:44 PM
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