Commander #fundie

Commander #fundie strangetalk.net

[Bleedingvines post on FSTDT about vampires in the Bible]

[First they found dinosaurs in the bible, now vampires.]

Now hold on just a minute. Just from the quotes I can tell the people on there (at least some, I haven't even looked at the site) obviously know very little about Scripture and context.

The book of Proverbs uses a lot of poetic structure, for example:

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Anyone should be able to discern that this is poetic, not literal. Its meaning should be obvious.

Now about dinosaurs, a large sea creature called 'Leviathan' in the Bible is mentioned (this could be something like a plesiosaur) and an enormous land dwelling creature is mentioned as 'Behemoth' and its legs are described as Cedars (the tree. this could be any number of large dinosaurs for which we've found fossils). THAT'S how they have found mention of dinosaurs in Scripture, not making ridiculous extensions of metaphors into literal meanings.
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"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!"

18 comments

old comment by David D.G.

Well, as I read this, it seems to me that "Commander" is not supporting the vampires claim, but refuting it, saying that such a claim is an attempt to translate a poetic passage literally (though not necessarily this passage about eating gravel). That's perfectly sensible and completely non-fundie.
But then, of course, he has to go and blow it by claiming that the references to leviathan and behemoth are literal references to dinosaurs, when one could just as easily apply that reference to elephants and other large mammals -- and when, in fact, dinosaurs had been extinct for more than 60 million years before human beings ever even came into existence. So that's perfectly nonsensical and totally fundie. "You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!" Well, sure, the DEMONS believe; they've got direct proof just by virtue of being part of the supernatural realm! But we, however, need proof -- not just to believe in God, by the way, but to believe in these demons referenced as well. Good luck with that. ~David D.G.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"Now hold on just a minute."

I'm not touching you. I don't want to catch Teh Fundie! EW! X3

"Just from the quotes I can tell the people on there (at least some, I haven't even looked at the site) obviously know very little about Scripture"

>Implying that I've never read the Bible - cover to cover - in my youth, and concluding that it's the biggest load of bollocks I've ever read before or since [/4chan]

"and context."

Context. Context?! Context, MY ARSE! [/Jim Royle]

"The book of Proverbs uses a lot of poetic structure, for example:

Proverbs 20:17
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel."

Confucious says: 'Man who chews dung speaks Arse Gravy'. Your point? Oh, and the samples given out at the deli counter(s) in supermarkets. One can effectively have a Free Lunch [/smartarse]. And tastes of not gravel.

"Anyone should be able to discern that this is poetic, not literal. Its meaning should be obvious"

And anyone with a grain of intelligence can discern that the entire Bible is a load of bollocks that has absolutely no right whatsoever to be part of anyone mindset. 100% cover-to-cover worse-than fairy stories throughout; two words: Talking Snake. Just those two alone makes the Bible a load of bollocks blatantly fucking obvious. The only fact about the Bible: It. Is. Fiction. Deal with it.

"Now about dinosaurs, a large sea creature called 'Leviathan' in the Bible is mentioned (this could be something like a plesiosaur) and an enormous land dwelling creature is mentioned as 'Behemoth' and its legs are described as Cedars (the tree. this could be any number of large dinosaurs for which we've found fossils). THAT'S how they have found mention of dinosaurs in Scripture, not making ridiculous extensions of metaphors into literal meanings."

'Metaphors'? Bollocks. If it says it that way, it means it that way, otherwise it's not literal anywhere in such, never mind throughout. Ergo, your 'God' doesn't exist, and your 'beliefs' & 'faith are based on a lie. We Atheists only deal in facts.

Otherwise, why wasn't the Bible written in clear, plain language, without all the florid 'metaphor' bollocks? Because then, it would've been seen - straight from the start - as the load of bollocks it really is, and your so-called 'religion' would've died before it started.

"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!"

There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.

-Bertrand Russell

Can't be theatened by mere metaphors, Cumhander. [/smartarse II]

...oh, and as for 'vampires' in the Bible, as you claim, Cumhander...:

Pics - and stories (with white-hot sex in full & florid detail, making 'Song of Solomon' seem like a Janet & John Reader) - of my hot blonde meganekko vampire Goddess EROfriede in the Bible, or they never happened. After all, 'vampirism' in Gothic fiction is seen as a Metaphor for sexuality. [/smartarse III, and religion strkes out]