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Quote# 15464

One day soon some of us will be sipping from the River of Life in Heaven while the rest of these Evo-chimps are scorched for eternity in Hell.

I wonder if they'll really, really feel that their choice of rebellion against God and His perfect Word was worth it then.

[...]

Pass the barbecue sauce...



Gargantua, Free Republic 39 Comments [9/30/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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Brain_In_A_Jar

You know, all you have to do is show all those \"Evo-chimps\" a single piece of repeatable, scientific evidence that your assertions are true, and you can save all of them for eternity! Or would you rather just point and laugh at them, in your righteous compassion?

9/30/2006 10:55:09 AM

Matilde

You´re going to be so lonely that I think you´ll regret your choice. Pass me the antidepressants, for you I mean.

9/30/2006 11:23:23 AM

Prince Macho Belly

M-m-m....barbecued evo-chimp....(drools)

9/30/2006 11:39:02 AM

Wolf O'Donnell (SWHQ)

Evo-chimp? Fundies are very fond of inventing new words. Their Newspeak is very frightening.

9/30/2006 12:06:17 PM

Noles10

Doesn't eating chimp meat give you AIDS? I worked at a zoo in high school and that's what I always heard.

9/30/2006 1:05:18 PM

Axver

I do not understand what insatiable bloodlust makes people enjoy the idea of sipping from the \"River of Life\" while millions are eternally tormented.

9/30/2006 1:08:09 PM

Crosis

I don't think Jesus would be very happy if he found out you like the idea of people burning in hell. Fortunately, as he is dead if he did exist at all, he won't.

9/30/2006 1:11:19 PM

Sandman

Is it even possible for the people at Free Republic to get more batshit insane?

Come on, even the Nazis must think Free Republic is just a tad extreme.

And if \"Free Republic\" isn't the most ironically inaccurate name ever...

9/30/2006 2:59:59 PM

Tiny Bulcher

\"One day soon\" ... yeah ... 1,973 years, and counting ...

9/30/2006 3:19:26 PM

Fed Up

\"their choice of rebellion against God and His perfect Word\"

What is there to rebel against?

9/30/2006 4:07:19 PM

Tindalos

Wait... isn't that kind of implying that they want to *eat* us?

Surely that's *gotta* be some kind of sin.

9/30/2006 5:08:42 PM

Napoleon the Clown

There's gonna be a great pool party, you should join us. This sadist thing you've got going is a wonderful start.

9/30/2006 5:56:22 PM

SaveTheBales

I'll bet the \"river of life\" tastes a lot like bathtub gin to this rube.

9/30/2006 7:40:20 PM

Adrian

Is he actually saying that cannibalism will be practiced in Heaven? 0_o

Doesn't eating chimp meat give you AIDS? I worked at a zoo in high school and that's what I always heard.

Well, I heard that the little fuckers often carry hepatitis B, and given their propension for biting and flinging their feces...

9/30/2006 8:10:35 PM

Old Viking

Well that does it. No more evolution for me!

9/30/2006 8:23:05 PM

Kelian

Adrian: \"Is he actually saying that cannibalism will be practiced in Heaven? 0_o\"

I don't see why not. After all, the Eucharist is a cannibalistic reference.

9/30/2006 9:11:30 PM

Libkitten

CANNIBAL!

9/30/2006 10:31:22 PM

CousinTed

If you're sneering at people because they're going to hell, there's a good chance you'll be joining them.

9/30/2006 10:55:59 PM

John

One day soon some of us will be sipping from the Beer Volcano in Heaven while the rest of these Christo-chimps are scorched for eternity in Hell.

I wonder if they'll really, really feel that their choice of rebellion against the Flying Spaghetti Monster and His perfect Word was worth it then.

Pass the marinara sauce...

9/30/2006 11:37:20 PM

Lord steel

I think this guy has condemed himself to hell with the BBQ sauce bit.

10/1/2006 6:24:50 AM

Julian

Oh there's the last refuge of a loser in this life!

Making pretend scenarios in the 'next' to ease the ignominy of this one.

10/1/2006 11:52:02 AM

Redhunter

Yay! My LOVING god is going to roast most of the world's population for foolishly believing in proven facts!

So there are no cups or stores or fountains in heaven, we have to drink from a river?

Try Arby's new Scorched Evo-Chimp with hickory bbq sauce, it's heavenly taste is because it's hell fried!

10/2/2006 6:55:39 AM

Coffee

Way to show the world that your ego is bruised by reality. You can't succeed in this life, so you're going to cannibalize roasted sinners in the next. You do realize that you make fundies sound like the most evil monsters imaginable, yeah?

10/2/2006 1:46:06 PM

Kadin

Good old-fashioned family sadism!

10/5/2006 12:26:52 PM

Julian

Should we tell him Devil Wings are actually chicken?

10/6/2006 2:23:12 AM
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