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Quote# 15655

To whoever stole my children's bicycles: Let me guess: You've been taught that God isn't real, so you think you can do whatever you want.

Ticked Off!, Orlando Sentinel 52 Comments [10/4/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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Ed

No, they're probably just assholes. Trust me, the majority of them do believe in God.

10/5/2006 12:23:58 AM

Hadanelith

Generally speaking, atheists DON'T believe that they can do whatever they want.

10/5/2006 12:25:54 AM

Winston Jen

Anyone see the guy's face? He looks like he's constipated 24 hours a day.

10/5/2006 12:26:53 AM

Star Cluster

Unlike Christians who think they are exempt from such laws as seperation of church and state (posting the Ten Commandments on public property, etc.), atheists do generally belief in the concept of laws, and most of us tend to obey such laws (except the speed limit at times.)

10/5/2006 12:38:19 AM

Bone_Vulture

Rockstar Games presents: Grand Theft Evolution.

10/5/2006 12:39:55 AM

Mike

It's them damn atheists again. Always up to no good. Oh wait, how can you make that assertion? Maybe it's becuase you're a fucking idiot.

10/5/2006 12:42:21 AM

Archangel_Lucifer

What an idiot. Not particularly fundtastic though.

10/5/2006 12:42:23 AM

Crosis

Yeah, that's why the prison system is filled with a disproportionate number of atheists. Oh wait ... atheists are under-represented in prisons.

My guess is this person's been taught that all they have to do is believe in God and everything they do is forgiven.

10/5/2006 12:47:58 AM

WritingIsMyReligion

First atheist = Muslim. Now atheist = bike thief?

10/5/2006 12:54:14 AM

FKAB

Shit guys! Hide the bikes!!

10/5/2006 1:26:55 AM

Papabear

Atheist or Xian, the problem here is that someone hasn't learned not to steal. Plenty of those in prison, most of them Xian.

10/5/2006 1:38:26 AM

Extrapolation

\"Now how we gon' git a ride to the NASCAR track?!\"

10/5/2006 1:38:38 AM

Napoleon the Clown

Christians make up about the same percent of the prison population as they do the total population. The percent of the prison population consisting of atheists is much smaller than the percent of the country that is made up of atheists.

10/5/2006 1:57:14 AM

YPhantom

They've exposed our bike theft conspiracy!

10/5/2006 2:05:34 AM

Julian

Ah, here's just the spot for my all time favourite Emo Phillips quote!

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.



although...
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Emo_Philips

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.

A guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo... in Morse code.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, \"I'm going to mop the floor with your face.\" I said, \"You'll be sorry.\" He said, \"Oh, yeah? Why?\" I said, \"Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.\"

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, \"If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.\"

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks.

You know, at parties, people always ask \"Where were you when Kennedy was shot?\" Well, I don't have an alibi!



10/5/2006 2:51:29 AM

Axver

Thirty years ago, communists would have stolen the bike. In ten years, it will be terrorists.

10/5/2006 2:56:15 AM

CousinTed

That was my fucking bike you asshole! Your lousy snot-nosed brat stole it from ME! I was just taking it back.

10/5/2006 2:59:01 AM

Libkitten

I don't believe in God, and I don't steal things. Know why? Because it's wrong. And illegal.

10/5/2006 2:59:20 AM

Nicole

This guy's generally an asswipe. On that site, he mentions how he pays money for a road and then wonders why he can't speed on it. Hypocrite.

\"Morals are ok as long as I can do what I want and everyone else does what I want them to\".

10/5/2006 3:51:53 AM

Sasquatch

What an idiot.

10/5/2006 4:32:45 AM

Redhunter

My fundie brother in law had his father's bike stolen from his lawn and he wrote a letter to the newpaper begging for it back. My first thought was, \"Why the hell didn't you take better care of it instead of leaving it laying in the yard, unlocked?\" Jesus is your co-pilot, not your security officer.

10/5/2006 6:12:15 AM

Ens

How utterly petty and pathetic.

10/5/2006 7:09:55 AM

Prager

Given that 80% of all people in the US (if not higher) refer to themselves as christians, I think it would be more logical to say that there is an 80% chance the bikes were stolen by a god-fearing person with the same beliefs as you.

10/5/2006 7:14:03 AM

Sierra

My mom likes to tell me about how, when I was 3, and my little pink bike was stolen, and I spent the next several years asking every adult I met, \"Are you the dickhead who stole my bike?\"

10/5/2006 7:37:08 AM

Darth Wang

*th*ist stole my bike!


10/5/2006 8:29:47 AM
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