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Quote# 18787

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

The Prince of Pain, GameTalk 943 Comments [1/1/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 72
Submitted By: Savrin
WTF?! || meh
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Strife767

Yes, your lack of sanity is truly scary.

12/30/2006 8:44:25 PM

Allie

... you spend a whole lot of time thinking about this, don't you, Prince?

12/30/2006 8:46:36 PM

SaneChick

You're the one who came up with that scenario, The Prince of Pain, which means all those thoughts were born in your mind. Don't ascribe them to mine!

12/30/2006 8:47:38 PM

Joe

The Ignorance! It Burns!!

12/30/2006 10:11:55 PM

retrow

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
Replace a white robe (bedsheet) and a hood instead of black, and that was what xians have actually done until a few decades ago.
Trying to pass xian history as atheistic future isn't even original, far less accurate.

12/30/2006 10:18:53 PM

szenah

Tell us why, exactly, we're supposed to take your ignorant fantasies and pretend they mean something?

12/30/2006 10:51:19 PM

Julian

Very, very, very scary indeed!

That's a some pretty sick shit you've got bubbling away there boy.

12/30/2006 11:18:45 PM

Tiny Bulcher

Who are these athiests of which you speak? How does one get to be athier than other people?

12/30/2006 11:50:50 PM

dykitty

That's some imagination ya got there. Tell me something, unless you actually talk to a person, how do you know what their spiritual leanings might be?

Can't you people get it through your heads that non-christian does not equal evil?

12/31/2006 2:07:43 AM

Sgeo

I'm having some trouble reading the original post..

12/31/2006 2:17:05 AM

CWBYH8R

Oh my! Were you at my house last night? I do remenber having that conversation... Oh wait nevermind, I forgot you're crazy!!!!

12/31/2006 2:57:32 AM

Savrin

#141519
It got 'disemvoweled' ... they removed the vowels and made it effectively unreadable.

12/31/2006 4:45:22 AM

Toga

lol generalizations.
Is it just me, or do I not find anything wrong with the family up until they burn the Christian?

12/31/2006 5:00:25 AM

David D.G.

Savrin, that's a pretty disturbing scenario. No, really. I can tell that you are genuinely troubled by such strange thoughts, and I don't blame you.

So, to start with, why don't you lie down on this nice, comfy couch, and tell me about your childhood?[/Germanaccent]


~David D.G.

12/31/2006 6:01:59 AM

[url=http://tinyurl.com/ya3433]Sanity[/url]

David: I don't think you mean Savrin, I think you mean Prince of Pain (the original poster). Savrin merely submitted it here.

12/31/2006 8:56:35 AM

Drakeal

What. An. Idiot.

12/31/2006 7:38:15 PM

Big Mac

So this is like an inverse Leave it to Beaver? It'd be scary if it happened, yes. But I have yet to find any SANE atheist/muslim/Jew/hindu/etc. who would actively want to do this sort of shit.

Here's what would really happen if we were the majority:

NEWS ANCHOR: \"Scientists today finally were able to cure several terminal diseases using stem cell research. More on that story after a look at the weather and these announcements.\"

DAD turns off TV and goes to put his kids to bed.

SON: \"Dad, some guy today was praying in the park.\"

DAD: \"Oh he's a Christian. Be careful they bite.\"

SON: \"Dad, why do those people exist?\"

DAD: \"Well Billy, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...\"

SON: \"Dad, that's Star Wars.\"

DAD: \"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SNOT NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP MY TRUE STORY!\"

SON: \"DAD, you're hurting me! Let go of my arms.....ahhhh!\"

DAD: \"I'll beat the Jesus out of you! GOD DAMMIT!\"

SON: \"DADDY!!!\"

MOM: \"KILL HIM! KILL HIM! LET HIM FEEL THE PAIN OF JESUS!\"

The most Satanic music ever....Enya begins blaring. Suddenly the MOM and the DAD begin an epic battle, Highlander style. Finally the dad cuts of the MOM'S hands and head.

DAD: \"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!\"

Sadly, the DAD killed his son by forcing him to watch naked photo's of Mann Culter.

THE END.

Now that would be a better horror film. Right?

Sorry if that was stupid but so was this story. Stupid is as stupid does I suppose.

12/31/2006 9:07:26 PM

punchybird

I am just in shock that they are people who really think like this. It is scary.

12/31/2006 9:53:08 PM

Dave

I'm an atheist. If I were capable of producing children, I'd raise my kids to never smoke, pot or otherwise.

1/1/2007 12:09:21 AM

Adrian

You bet it's scary. Good thing real athiests arn't like that at all.

1/1/2007 12:34:00 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Yes, the interior of your head is a really fucking scary place to be. Please don't take us there again.

1/1/2007 12:34:21 AM

Ed

Hey, not a bad parody of Christian fundamentalist views on athiesm, dude.

...It was a parody of Christian fundamentalist views on athiesm, right?

1/1/2007 12:49:45 AM

Bone_Vulture

Scary? Hilarious is more like it.

And randomly inviting gay couples to have sex in my apartment? Awesome.

1/1/2007 1:14:53 AM

Old Viking

The guy's got a way with dialogue.

1/1/2007 1:20:49 AM

Cannonflare

What happend to all the agnostics?

1/1/2007 1:54:09 AM
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