By darwin's theory, why HAVEN't we evovled laserbeam penises?
Evolving shit out of nowhere seems to be the running theme of darwin's theory.
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Evolving shit out of nowhere seems to be the running theme of darwin's theory.
No, its a running theme of fundies who don't know shit about evolution.
Because, among many issues, laser is human. Second, the human race would end because it would kill all spermatozoids. I mean, we can make an idiot contest to answer that.
First evolution doesn't work that way.
Second, it wouldn't be useful there.
Third, in order to get there, some distant (long, long before what you probably rate the age of this planet at, fundie-boy) ancestor would likely have to have found himself with luminescant cellls somewhere on his person.
Ya know, like some fish. Or rudolph, just not the same tip.
Now if this had proven advantageous ("Oooh! it glows! take me now!" VS "hide it! those giant man-eating animals will see us!" "but you're sterile because of it" and "ew! monster! get away!"), then likely his descendants might've had it.
If it was in fact advantageous, and remained that way, then most likely we would have bioluminescant heads.
From there it would be a matter of having a high-energy diet combined with further mutations, millions of years and hundreds of thousands of generations, all slowly changing so that our penises would be lined with the biological equivalent of several billion laser diodes. They'd all have to be aimed the same way (would a laser pointer really be an advantage compared to a bright healthy attractive glow, especially if we've been developping weapons for our defense, thus taking its stopping power out of the equation entirely)?
Finally these would have to have a high enough output to actually be capable of damaging materials without such acts destroying the very cells emitting specific-wavelength streams of photons, which would likely require huge energy inputs (heat issues among others. heatsink pubes? additional cooling surfaces? ... fins?). This could prove devastating to those with such a mutation as they require more energy than a famine or low-resources could provide them with.
A million little steps all in the right direction for something we might not even find useful. Really, its probably best to wait till we can bio-engineer particle-cannon-foreskins.
Mind you I'd sure love to be able to fire lasers like that... er, preferably from somewhere else though.
If anyone did mutate a laserbeam penis, he wouldn't be able to reproduce, since he'd kill his mate upon ejaculation. So, no evolution.
How do you know that we haven't? WE have evolved and you haven't..or you haven't figured out how to use it,if you did I am sure you would be indirectly awarded for a darwin since you wouldn't be able to pass on your genes without frying them first...you must be a big sci fi fan...I just realized what a sad thing I'm doing, I'm responding in an insulting matter with the chances of him never reading it...W/E it's still fun.
Assuming that lasers were natural creations, it is impossible to evolve a laserpenis because when the first man to have one tried to procreate, he would severely burn or perhaps even kill his partner. After that, no one would be willing or able to have sex with him, so the mutation would not be passed to the next generation.
Man, now I really wish this kid has one. Just so we wouldn't have to worry about him breeding.
Wait, you haven't???
...
Awkward...
What use would a laserbeam penis have? See, that's what you twits miss: evolution focuses on the traits that are USEFUL to a population based on their environment. Lasers have been used in surgery, who wants to risk getting their insides cut up in the midst of sex? There'd be no healthy females left to bear children.
Okay, ignoring the abject stupidity of this comment...
Do you know how much energy it would require to create fire these peen lasers? Not to mention having a reproductive organ with the capability to destroy the person you're having sex with. So tell me, what sort of evolutionary advantage would this give someone?
(*Presses Tannoy microphone button *)
Paging Professor SpukiKitty. Will Prof. SpukiKitty please go to the Casshiterides Ward For The Terminally Derpy, as a patient is waiting; also Professor of Cybernetics Kevin Warwick will be joining you to lecture said patient on how he will never have The Schwartz* . And please bring with you your Atomic Flamethrowing Vagina.
*- No, not [i]him[/i]. [/"Sabrina Online"] X3
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