Quote# 23358

Has anyone heard of Linux? It’s a new kind of Windows, but it’s free. I’ve read up on it, and it seems that it’s created and supported by ultra-liberals. Its creator, Richard Stallman, is even a satanist.

They call themselves “hackers”, and their aim is to destroy every big company, everything that is conservative. I can’t tolerate this sort of persecution. The LORD himself was a conservative and he was nailed to a tree for it. It won’t be long before all of us are crucified too if Linux succeeds.

Baptist Ben, BaptistBen 72 Comments [4/9/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 18

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Mike

Must research you must do more!

4/9/2007 3:52:43 AM

Papabear

Jeez! How old is this post?


Bennie, if Jesus actually existed, in his time he was quite the liberal.

4/11/2007 4:13:32 AM

Zidane

Penquin hater.

4/11/2007 4:15:18 AM

anti-nonsense

*explodes*

This makes me want to actually install Ubuntu.

Failed you have, do more research next time you must. '

Obviously you didn't read up on it very much, or you would know that the Linux kernel was actually created by Linus Torvald.

4/11/2007 4:17:29 AM

jouster

They call themselves “hackers”

...and this is their creed!

Sounds like a job for crash override and acid burn!

Hack the Gibson! Hack the Planet!

4/11/2007 4:20:15 AM

Sophie

Wow, I want the same drugs this guy is taking.

Or, perhaps not, as the case may be...

Also, isn't God supposed to not have a political view at all? And as for Jesus, well, he was rather a radical for his time.

4/11/2007 4:24:22 AM

Catman

The LORD himself was a conservative and he was nailed to a tree for it.

If the Jesus character was crucified for anything, it wasn't for being conservative. If you believe all that crap, the crucifixion was god killing himself so he could raise himself from the dead thus saving the humans he made unworthy of salvation from the very beginning. It's a sick joke.

4/11/2007 4:34:57 AM

ryan

parody

4/11/2007 4:35:03 AM

Mr_Vorhias

Tomorrow, on BaptistBen:

\"What's with this new-fangled internet? Is it run by Jews, or what?\"

4/11/2007 4:40:51 AM

Luis

This must be a troll post. IT MUST.

4/11/2007 4:47:44 AM

Osiris

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No.

4/11/2007 4:50:22 AM

Brian X

This guy wants to be the next Jon Swift and is failing miserably at it. Dude, c'mon, you don't have the comedy chops.

Besides, I tried to say the same thing on Conservapedia (s/Satanism/Marxism) and nobody bought it. Fortunately it looks like the place is imploding slowly...

4/11/2007 4:55:13 AM

Witty Name Here

While Linux sucks, it's for completely different reasons. Namely, you can't run Starcraft.

4/11/2007 4:59:56 AM

TheMissus

How exactly does Linux succeed? By making money? Ummmmm........

4/11/2007 5:04:48 AM

ZugTheMegasaurus

Ack...the stupid...it hurts...

4/11/2007 5:16:12 AM

Dave

Either this is an old repeat or it's a parody I've read before. I forget which.

I think it might be lifted from Shelly The Reupblican

4/11/2007 5:18:40 AM

Redhunter

Rumplestiltskin? Is that you?

4/11/2007 5:32:31 AM

ryan

been there done that
http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

8. Is your son obsessed with \"Lunix\"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called \"xenix\", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the \"mp3\" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as \"telnet\", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install \"lunix\" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word \"LILO\" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

4/11/2007 6:19:42 AM

Ummu

BHAHAHAHAHA
Is this a troll? Or a timewarp back to the early 90's?

4/11/2007 6:23:28 AM

Matilde

Bill Gates conservative?, everything that is free and charitative is destructive?, thanks for being a moron.

4/11/2007 9:17:46 AM

media literate

baptistben seems to be worn-out parody by some amateur comedian who has clearly missed the train. not witty, nor fresh, nor funnay!

4/11/2007 9:22:12 AM

Michael

I knew Richard Stallman, and Senator, you're NO Richard Stallman.

4/11/2007 9:22:20 AM

Prager

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (CRASH - the sound of me falling on the floor)

4/11/2007 9:31:48 AM

richard skidmark

You are really Bill Gates, right?

4/11/2007 9:54:06 AM

anevilmeme

Linux is a Satanic OS? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


4/11/2007 10:49:40 AM

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