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Quote# 24484

God knows who is wicked and who is not. He knows whose faking it. But of course, he is all-powerful so people naturally to save their own necks will conform or try to impress the deity. So to get past that facade he does like we do, the unannounced "spot check." That's the story of the Good Samaritan. The rabbi and priest walk past this person on the street they don't want to deal with. But little do they know it's the king! Had they known it was the king or recognized him, they would have been sooooo exited for this opportunity to gain his favor, right? They would have bent over backwards. But because he was just a common-looking man, they ignore him. But the Good Samaritan, with truer values, helps this man out. In the end: Suprise! He turns out to be the Messiah, the King! The Good Samaritan gets the kings blessing, and the priest and rabbi who claim to be the king's servants get their walking papers.

So yes, in the end God did trick Satan. Satan was a murderous bitch (called "the woman" at Gen 3:15) from the beginning and the temptation to kill billions of potential innocent humans was just too much to resist. But God turns the tables on him/her by making it possible for those who were killed to be adopted by Christ, who dies without children and thus entitled to adopt, and thus they get saved. That is, their death is not permanent. So in the end, it's not about dying, everybody dies. God makes it a new requirement. It's becoming eligible to come back that makes all the difference.

Larsguy47, IIDB 33 Comments [5/1/2007 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: Winston Jen
WTF?! || meh
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Darth Wang

.... what?

5/1/2007 8:23:29 PM

Matilde

Don´t put in Jesus´s mouth words he never said. The guy lying on the ground is a everyday man, nothing more, nothing less. He wanted, precisely, to disband all the stereotypes about the \"wonderful republicans\" of the time, which is what you, understandably, misunderstood. And Jesus died without children, and without children remains. I think that, rather don´t showing the Bible on our throats READ IT and COMPRENHEND IT.

5/1/2007 8:52:07 PM

Wark

yeah, boy does he have his bible wrong.

5/1/2007 8:56:02 PM

NotMe

I can't parse that.

5/1/2007 9:02:13 PM

Old Viking

Larsguy 47 writes books of religious inspiration in his spare time.

5/1/2007 9:03:12 PM

Doctor Whom

He seems to have confused the parable of the good Samaritan with the parable of the sheep and the goats.

5/1/2007 9:06:29 PM

TB

\" Satan was a murderous bitch (called \"the woman\" at Gen 3:15)\"

Misogyny of Jayzus!

5/1/2007 9:12:36 PM

flipper

\"He's making a list, he's checking it twice, Gonna find out who's naughty and nice, yahweh God is coming to town.\"

5/1/2007 9:52:44 PM

Zeniel

God tricked Satan?! Gee isn't he a nice person bringing himself down to satan level. How un-childish!

5/1/2007 10:38:13 PM

Firthy2002

I think you misread your Babble there.

5/1/2007 11:49:18 PM

Sandman

Wow, you really don't know your Bible, do you? First off, the story of the Good Samaritain was a parable, an imaginary story Jesus told to make a point: that all men are \"neighbors\" to all other men. The injured man on the road was not a prince or a king or a president or a pimp. He was an imaginary character in an imaginary story told to teach a concept.

(By the way, the Parable of the Good Samaritain has nothing to do with racism or tolerance or being nice to people. Read it in context. Jesus is answering a question with this story, the question being \"What must I do to inherit eternal life (that is, go to Heaven)?\" Jesus responded by saying that you must \"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.\" Of course the questioner asked, \"Who is my neighbor?\" to which Jesus told him the story of the Good Samaritain. At the end of the story, Jesus asks the question \"Which of the men was a neighbor to the man who fell to the robbers?\" The question responds \"The one who had mercy on him,\" thus totally missing the point.

Jesus did not ask who acted like a neighbor, he asked who was the neighbor, the correct answer, of course, being all of them.

The story of the Good Samaritan is about who our \"neighbors\" are and who we should be taking care of. Everyone.

Just a small Professor Sandman break!)


I suggest, Larsguy47, that you actually spend some time studying the Bible before you make a fool of yourself attempting to pass as a scholar.

And by the way, the \"woman\" referred to in Genesis 3:15 is a clear reference to Eve as a symbol for the human race.

Dolt.

5/2/2007 1:13:42 AM

anti-nonsense

\"He's making a list, he's checking it twice, Gonna find out who's naughty and nice, yahweh God is coming to town.\"

Darn. beat me to it.

5/2/2007 1:19:35 AM

Papabear

\"So to get past that facade he does like we do, the unannounced 'spot check.'\"

God, the omniscient, the God who knows the heart of every man, needs to do \"spot checks?\"

5/2/2007 3:46:31 AM

Papabear

P.S. Larsguy, you're insane.

5/2/2007 3:49:06 AM

Morpheus

Lars seems to have combined the parable of the Good Samaritan with a hokey inspirational story I read once.

Short version: Jesus is coming over for dinner, but the woman gives all the food to a homeless person. Then she comes home and sees a note from Jesus saying the food was delicious.

Bah! Sandman has beaten me to my second point. :<

5/2/2007 4:21:59 AM

Puck

Babbling brook award?


5/2/2007 5:04:02 AM

Redhunter

This guy is clearly unstable.

5/2/2007 8:17:43 AM

Laurel

So the Xian god is switching to reincarnation now? Because that's all I can get out of that last cryptic sentence.

5/2/2007 9:45:52 AM

Coffee

Damn, Lars, that was some good meth.

5/2/2007 11:19:11 AM

Irene

I have only one thing to add to Matilde and Sandman's rebuttal, which is that the Samaritans were not exactly the most popular group at the time. I suspect Jesus deliberately made the hero of his story someone who was considered automatically a bit disreputable, just because of his background. If the story were told today, the Samaritan might be a black guy from the Chicago Projects, or a redneck, or a butch lesbian with zillions of piercings. Y'know, someone who makes the establishment nervous.

Irene

5/2/2007 9:51:49 PM

D Laurier

Larsguy47 demonstrates the fundie refusal to actualy read the bible they worship

5/3/2007 2:50:27 PM

Rhys

\"God knows who is wicked and who is not.\"
Isn't that Santa Clause?

\"It's becoming eligible to come back that makes all the difference.\"
I didn't think these guys believed in reincarnation

5/8/2007 4:31:28 AM

Sideshow Bob

Er uh... The serpent was Satan. The woman was humanity. You lose. Good day sir.

5/8/2007 5:15:59 AM

D

\"God knows who is wicked and who is not. He knows whose faking it.\"

God is santa claus now?

5/8/2007 5:42:19 AM

Nekhbet

Is there a Pretzel Logic award? Have I got a candidate for you.

5/9/2007 2:24:44 PM
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