fullmetaljackie #fundie

fullmetaljackie #fundie fullmetaljackie.livejournal.com

I was thinking "man my life is just so effed up that i just used this magic marker like four minutes ago and i havent moved from this spot yet and i lost the top to it and now it will dry up. (I was not thinking "effing" but a worse word that i do not want to use here in a Jesus paragraph.) I was literally thinking about this magic marker thinking "boy looks like Jesus did not come to crappyville today im glad i am messing with my magic marker and not my checking account." Then literally a split second later i saw the lost tip to the magic marker and i felt the presence of Jesus.

Laugh if you want to because you think Jesus is not real but i tell you what peeps. Even if you're right about that ill take an imaginery Jesus or even a plastic 99-cent Buddha over what keeps YOUR dumb ass from swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills and YAH bitches i mean your stupid shallow retarded friends. If i had your stupid friends id swallow a bottle of sleeping pills even if i was sitting on Jesus' lap eating cheesy poofs.

41 comments

old comment by Øyvind

I was thinking "man my life is just so effed up that i just used this magic marker like four minutes ago and i havent moved from this spot yet and i lost the top to it and now it will dry up.

Oh noez!

I was literally thinking about this magic marker thinking "boy looks like Jesus did not come to crappyville today im glad i am messing with my magic marker and not my checking account." Then literally a split second later i saw the lost tip to the magic marker and i felt the presence of Jesus.

Even if you're right about that ill take an imaginery Jesus or even a plastic 99-cent Buddha over what keeps YOUR dumb ass from swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills and YAH bitches i mean your stupid shallow retarded friends. If i had your stupid friends id swallow a bottle of sleeping pills even if i was sitting on Jesus' lap eating cheesy poofs.

1. What keeps me from swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills is my friends, my dog, my family, my hobbies - in short, my life. I'm really sorry if you have neither of those and hate them enough to prefer death. 2. My friends are not shallow, retarded, or stupid. On the contrary, they're tough, scarred-by-life individuals with more wisdom and experience from life than a bucket-load of idiot fundie children like you. Kindly return with your markers to your cheesy poofs and colouring books. 3. Why do all fundies seem to believe Jesus, of all people, is some divine babysitter giving hugs and lap time? But yes, reading the post in its entirety, this guy is pretty far down. Heck, he's even farther down than I was, 'cause even lone wolf me had at least a small pack of friends at every point in his life up until the point when he realized other humans weren't so damned stupid after all.

old comment by Sideshow Bob

"I was thinking that my life, as a whole, was messed up. I recently used a magic marker and misplaced the top, which means it will very likely dry up (Note that 'messed up' wasn't the term I had in mind, but one far less fit for this sort of journal entry.). I began to think that the Lord wasn't with me at this time, and that it's better that was the case now than it would be if I was in the middle of banking. Immediately after that thought I found the marker top, and apparently the Lord himself.
I know how silly that sounds, especially for those who don't believe in Jesus. Even if you were right about His non-existence, I'd rather have that kind of faith, or even Buddhism, than whatever reason it is that you and your friends have to keep going. If I had that sort of fools as friends, I would promptly end my life, even if I was with Jesus himself before then." Nope. It's still terrible.