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Quote# 2719

When Revelation plays out, Jesus will kill so many people that the hem of His robe will be dyed red with the blood of people.

He is tough. He is purposeful and strong-willed.

This isn't a new Jesus, because God is immutable. This was always Jesus.

It just seems like the view some people have of Him--they cannot see Jesus killing people. Perhaps that is why so many churches view Revelation as allegory...?

Selah, Rapture Ready 59 Comments [8/24/2005 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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ryan

I wonder how jesus will commit murder. Will he go for maximum efficiency, or the ultimate in style as beffiting the Lord. Swords, guns, lasers from his eyeballs? Jesus could wield dual uzis like a Hong Kong action flick. Plus we all have to die sometime, how cool would it be to go out knowing that you were so hardcore the big man upstairs had to take you out personally.

8/24/2005 8:44:04 AM

Rime

\"Plus we all have to die sometime, how cool would it be to go out knowing that you were so hardcore the big man upstairs had to take you out personally.\"

Ryan, that's the funniest remark I've read all week. Kudos, man.

8/24/2005 5:49:24 PM

Blurb

In any case, it's gonna make a really cool video game.

8/24/2005 6:07:00 PM

ryan

Thanks Rime, I had insomnia last night and was up late posting, rereading some of the comments I made had me saying meh whatever, but this one still cracks me up.

8/25/2005 12:18:10 AM

the_ignored

Damn, Ryan, I wish I'd thought of that!

8/25/2005 4:54:31 AM

Jesse Custer

Oddly enough, this yahoo seems to be the only poster that has any sort of rational grasp on the nature of Jesus as described in the bible.

Kudos, Selah, kudos.

8/30/2005 9:37:57 PM

Slyph

Man, get Quentin Tarantino on the line.

10/4/2005 2:47:17 PM

David D.G.

Coming this Christmas to a theater near you: \"Jesus II: The REAL Terminator.\"


~David D.G.

1/31/2006 6:00:41 PM

Adrian

It just seems like the view some people have of Him--they cannot see Jesus killing people

It's really hard to see someone as a mass murder when all they preached about was love and peace.

12/6/2006 1:20:06 AM

Tom


2/27/2007 3:20:27 AM

JP

Why would you like this guy?

2/27/2007 8:37:41 PM

ArmandT

Where the heck in the Bible states that Jesus is a homocidal maniac who will do nothing better than kill sinners when He returns?

Or did you buy your bible from godhatesfags.com?

5/23/2007 2:02:51 PM

Freboy

Once more with feeling:

Jesus looooooves you!

5/23/2007 2:08:39 PM

shriekback

\"Let He who is without sin kick the first ass\" award?

5/23/2007 4:21:33 PM

DFox

Jesus loves the little children...
All the little children of the woorld..
But when you grow up and become atheist...
He will come down from heaven and massacre you and all your non-believing friends and the streets shall run red with the blood of sinners!

Where was that in Sunday school?

5/23/2007 4:38:11 PM

BrandonL337

Jesus VS. Chuck Norris

5/16/2008 4:10:02 AM

PNO

"He knows when you are sleeping.
He knows when you're on the can.
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass
from here to Pakistan.

O! you better not breath.
You better not move.
You're better off dead,
I'm telling you, dude.
Jesus Christ is gunning you down."

5/16/2008 11:24:38 AM

Yog-Sothoth

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

5/16/2008 4:01:18 PM

Canadiest

So all the stuff Jesus did and said in that book were two-faced lies? He was pretending to be about peace and love?

Oh, Rapture Readyite, the Bible means nothing to these guys unless it's something it doesn't say

5/17/2008 2:20:10 PM

Feminazi

Wait a minute, is this the same Jesus who, in the bible, taught people to love each other and not stone each other to death?

5/20/2008 8:57:18 PM

Tomby Stone

And when Jesus comes back telling you he wont be the great military leader slaughtering all of your enemies you'd painted him as but rather a peaceful fellow gently suggesting we keep our minds open to new information and new ways of looking at our beliefs in order to live peacefully with each other I'll be here to sell you the cross and nails.

5/20/2008 9:04:25 PM

Professor M

Perhaps that is why so many churches view Revelation as allegory...?

Maybe people consider it allegory because of all the blatant first-century political satire?

5/20/2008 9:27:45 PM

nemesis


5/20/2008 10:11:27 PM

J.T.

Let he who is without sin, kick the first ass!

</familyguy>

EDIT: Dammit shriekback beat me to the punch.

1/6/2009 4:09:01 AM

Kilted_Kaboodle

Ok, based on this description it sounds like Jesus is Satan

1/28/2010 8:35:54 PM
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