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Quote# 2874

Yes it happened [Balaam's donkey spoke]. And there is no evidence for the contrawise, so why shouldn't I believe it?

spl_cadet, Theology Web 22 Comments [4/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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szena

There's no evidence that Thor didn't dress as a woman to get his hammer back, so that must have happened too!

9/30/2007 8:22:07 AM

Ningen

Spoken like a true scientist.

9/30/2007 10:15:32 AM

DinDC

Wasn't he in Shrek and didn't he sound an awful lot like Eddie Murphy?

10/2/2007 3:21:18 AM

tbt

Because donkeys aren't capable of speaking, dipshit

10/2/2007 5:34:31 PM

GigaGuess

Show me a donkey that talks, and I'm with you. Until then, I'm filing it under fairy tales.

10/2/2007 5:41:54 PM

agentCDE

There's no evidence that I, in fact, am not the King of Mars. Hail, Earthlings!

10/2/2007 6:37:28 PM

anti-nonsense

Time for a Harry Potter quote (or a paraphrase of one anyway)

"If the only criteria for believing in something is that nobody has proven it doesn't exist, you could believe in anything"

10/2/2007 8:04:34 PM

Jack Bauer

You have a penis sticking out the middle of you forehead. I see no evidence to contradict this so it must be true.

Dickhead!

10/2/2007 8:35:46 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Are you sure it wasn't garbled somehow from oh, say, "Balaam spoke out of his ass"?

10/2/2007 11:13:24 PM

Trendkill

Wait. . . Contrawise? That hurts my soul a little. . .

Either "And there is no evidence for the contrary"

or "And there is no evidence showing otherwise"


Don't make up words!

6/8/2009 10:24:52 AM



In that case, start believing in Allah, Odin, Athor and Leperchauns. There is not evidence for the contrary.

8/11/2009 6:39:06 AM

Deftera

THE FSM HAS SPOKEN! ALL HAIL THE FSM!

8/11/2009 6:42:48 AM

Allegory for Jesus

spl_cadet is a lot like God, actually. Both talking out of an ass.

Believing something that runs in blatant defiance of everything you and everyone experience and know about the world just because it hasn't been directly contradicted may be good theology, but if you pull that shit anywhere else, prepare to be laughed at for eternity.

10/14/2010 5:54:05 PM

Philbert McAdamia

@ anti-nonsense
"If the only criteria for believing in something is that nobody has proven it doesn't exist, you could believe in anything"

That should be a mandatory disclaimer printed on every bible cover and above every church door.

10/14/2010 6:12:29 PM

Justanotheratheist

Fundie logic. The greatest oxymoron ever.

10/14/2010 9:18:07 PM

Angua

That was my favorite bit of the book of Numbers. I could hardly keep my head up for a good potion of Numbers (heck, I can barely keep myself awake when reading any of the Five Books of Moses), but this but of Numbers made it all worth while. (It's Numbers 22, isn't it?)


As for there being no evidence to the contrary -- well, let's look at it this way. My invisible pet crocoduck was singing the "If You Like Pina Coladas" song for two hours straight this morning. (Yes, it's a deeply, deeply evil monster.) You must believe me -- after all, you have no evidence to the contrary.

But what? That's ridiculous? Crocoducks have crocodile heads so they can't sing? They don't have vocal cords? No one have ever heard a reptile sing before in their lives? That it simply is much easier that I'm either mistaken, insane, or lying because that's a much more parsimonious explanation than a singing reptile? That I'd better provide a lot of evidence to make such a extraordinary claim believable?

Well, either the same applies to Balaam's talking ass, or you had better send me a hundred dollars each month, or else I'll set my singing crocoduck on you. And really, is a hundred dollar that much to lose when compared to that thought of a singing crocoduck tormenting you for the rest of eternity?

10/14/2010 9:38:47 PM

Justanotheratheist

As the donkey said to the snake, "how about dem apples?"

No, really. And they wonder why sites like FSTDT exist.

10/14/2010 11:19:24 PM

Neith

Sheesh. Someone else was trying to back him up here. Is there no end to their gullibility?

10/14/2010 11:44:44 PM

The_Devil

@trendkill
Contrariwise, is it were, it would be, and if it was, it might be, but seeing as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.

8/5/2013 11:56:13 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Logic isn't your strong suit, is it?

9/27/2013 7:18:31 AM

Canaduck

Er, Francis the Talking Mule wasn't actually a nature documentary...

9/27/2013 4:34:55 PM

Justanotheratheist

There's no evidence that ten pink crocodiles didn't paddle a canoe down the Zambezi river late last night, so why shouldn't I believe it?

9/28/2013 1:45:38 AM
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