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Quote# 31265

[supersport explains the fossil record]

But anyway, as I said, evolutionists -- the geniuses they are -- equate size with how primitive a creature is. For years darwinists claimed that horses started out as a tiny dog-sized creature and then as they became more evolved -- ie..more complex -- they grew larger. Likewise they say the rat and the human had a common ancestor -- which obviously was a smallish rodent-type human. It was only as this creature became more evolved/complex that it grew in size. (Gotta love this logic, don't you?)

But let's move on to the geologic column: The basic story when it comes to fossils in the geologic column is that the lower strata is older than the higher stratas. And since the geologic column supposedly represents millions of years of Earth's history, then obviously the fossils in each of the layers must be the same age as the layer in which they are found. But what evolutionists like to point out is the progression from the most "simple" (ie...small) organisms, such as bacteria and worms -- to the most complex (ie..large) organisms -- such as vertebrates and mammals.

So, what they've evidently found in the fossil record is a progression from the small to the large, starting from the lower levels and working upwards.

So how do mixed nuts work into this? Glad you asked.

My wife bought a large can of mixed nuts the other day and I've been indulging in them. Of course, like most cans of mixed nuts, the ratio of peanuts to other nuts such as almonds, cashews and pecans is out of whack -- with far too many peanuts. As a result I noticed that shaking the can has a way of bringing the larger nuts to the top.

Voila!

Interestingly, it's this concept that seems quite plausible in regards to the geologic column; whenever the earth moves or the crust shifts or trembles, it could very well be that the smaller organisms (ie.."primitive") fall through the cracks and find themselves in lower strata more easily than larger organisms might. Same concept when water flows down through the earth: it's certainly more likely to drag smaller/"primitive" fossils downward than it is to drag larger fossils.

This might explain why single-celled organisms find their way to the lowest levels, followed by trilobites fish, crabs, snails, birds, small mammals, etc. This could give the impression of a neatly-sorted geologic column, no?

Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?


supersport, CARM 70 Comments [11/16/2007 1:42:55 AM]
Fundie Index: 10
WTF?! || meh
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Michael

And you have a doctorate in mixed nutology I assume?

11/16/2007 1:53:21 AM

Detrs

You've never heard this explanation from "evolutionists" because it's stupid as hell, and you know shit about fuck.

11/16/2007 1:54:03 AM

cyborgtroy

Because if the earth could be shaken as such, you would be falling into it like a ball pit.

11/16/2007 2:31:14 AM

Zipperback

Supersport defeated the theory he made up and doesn't like with the theory he made up and does like. It's his greatest victory ever.

He does prove the theory of "You are what you eat." though.

11/16/2007 2:33:26 AM

Mistra

hold on guys, i think he's comming closer to making sense, in this theory i could actually find some logic (it's false and would work, but it proves that supersport DOES have a brain. he rapes it, but that's besides the piont)

11/16/2007 2:46:28 AM

nobody

LOL! I'm pissing myself here! He's actually suggesting that fossils are like mixed nuts! Oh god that is pure comedy gold. But seriously supersport, if you want you're analogy to work better, fill your can of nuts with cement, let it harden with the nuts trapped inside and then lightly flick the side of the can. Those nuts ain't going anywhere.

11/16/2007 2:54:24 AM

Rhys

"Likewise they say the rat and the human had a common ancestor -- which obviously was a smallish rodent-type human."

Oh obviously.

"whenever the earth moves or the crust shifts or trembles, it could very well be that the smaller organisms (ie.."primitive") fall through the cracks and find themselves in lower strata more easily than larger organisms might."

Faulty analogy with the mixed nuts. Try filling the tin with concrete first and let it set. Now try your little experiment.

edt: Damnit. nobody beat me to it. Oh well. GG.

11/16/2007 3:01:05 AM

Mandy

"Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?"

Because it's nonsense!

11/16/2007 3:38:29 AM

AWP

Do you need more straw?

11/16/2007 4:06:54 AM

Kill Me, Kate

As a result I noticed that shaking the can has a way of bringing the larger nuts to the top.

My exact words at this line: "Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Unfortunately, I wasn't very off the mark as to where he[?] was going with this.

Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?

Because each time an "evolutionist" even thinks this up their head explodes. My guess as to why it didn't work on you is because they used to have brains, something you are obviously lacking.

Being this stupid should hurt, damnit!

11/16/2007 4:15:04 AM

Happymealungen

I love supersport, he's so delightfully nutty.

11/16/2007 4:29:32 AM

h2whoa

Congratulations, that might be the single worst attempt at passing off the fossil record I have ever heard.

11/16/2007 4:57:30 AM

akg41470

holy crap.

not only the
EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
award, but also the
GEOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
award.

Fail fail fail.

11/16/2007 4:59:28 AM

rubber chicken

Supersport is nuttier than squirrel shit

11/16/2007 5:02:57 AM

anevilmeme

Bwhahahahaaha!!! "....smaller organisms fall through the cracks and find themselves in lower strata...." Bwhahahahaahaha! Stop! you're killing me!

11/16/2007 5:45:59 AM

Anna Ghislaine

I should be angrier at this, seeing as I'm a geologist in training, but I think this is so cute! :D

11/16/2007 6:02:33 AM

Mister Spak

Supersport, genius that she is, tells us all about evolution but has never heard of island dwarfism.

"Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?"

Because evolutionists aren't stupid enough to think it's true. Why are giant dinonosaur fossils below small monkey fossils?

11/16/2007 6:10:51 AM

Nutz

Really this is just hilarious. This is the sort of half baked explanation I would expect from a somewhat bright fourth grader that was unfortunately raised into religion.

On another note, peanuts aren't nuts >_>

11/16/2007 6:25:53 AM

Prager

If you shake supersport's head you will note the bubbles of methane rising through the decayed mass the used to be his brain.

11/16/2007 7:07:30 AM

demodocos

Breaking News: Straw shortage in Jesusland caused by excessive overuse of the strawman fallacy!

11/16/2007 7:12:53 AM

Blackvoice

As a result I noticed that shaking the can has a way of bringing the larger nuts to the top.

You're telling me that... you only discovered this... äh... recently? Whoa.

11/16/2007 7:30:04 AM

Garfield

Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?

Because it's bull shit

11/16/2007 7:41:00 AM

Caustic Gnostic

Pour some beer into your can of nuts, and see if they float. That will simulate the mythical flood quite well. If the nuts float in matched pairs, that proves Noah.

11/16/2007 7:44:09 AM

Viva

Why have I never heard this explanation from evolutionists?


Because it's so stupid that no-one would ever suggest it.

11/16/2007 7:44:55 AM

NonProphet

Shaking the can brings the bigger nuts to the top, all right.

Supersport is living proof.

11/16/2007 7:55:34 AM
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