First, there was nothing. But then, something totally awesome had to be made. The awesomest thing ever has to be real, because it wouldn't be as awesome if it wasn't real.
So the first thing ever to exist had to be a wolf. The wolf made a dot, which couldn't contain infinite awesomeness like the wolf could, so it exploded into the universe (big bang) The wolf stayed outside of it, so it can't possibly be detected by any instrument within the universe. The wolf can cross in or out, but no other object can.
Also, the wolf made all the laws of physics after the fact. He still influences the universe. Anything that is totally awesome or sweet(ninjas, lasers, wolves(obviously), cats, Brock Sampson...), the wolf had a part in creating, either by making it himself, or pawing at the consciousness of whoever made it.
This is utterly unprovable, and nobody(myself included) has any basis to believe it. But it's fucking awesome, and that's reason enough. Your unprovable bullshit will never be a sweet as mine.
I have a 4-step proof of this, but it is beyond the scope of this post.
