"the fossil record should show countless organisms that are the failed experiments of evolution"
Do tell.
"eyes on the back of heads"
Not a failed experiment, my mom definitely had these!
"noses on feet"
I.e. close to the ground, where the scent trails are. If a particularly nasty cold virus hadn't made all the animals unable to stand up, they would be here still.
"cats or other mammals with worthless wingsprouts"
Well obviously cats would start developing wings, how else were they going to catch the flying mice that would eventually become bats?
Even to this day, bats mostly come out at night to better escape detection from the flying cats that once hunted them. Of course, the flying cats are no more, hunted to extinction by the ancestor of the domestic dog.
Which is why, even now, dogs are so good at leaping into the air to catch frisbees.
"countless bum organs"
Don't knock it. If you hadn't evolved a second 'bum' organ, how would you be able to spout shit from both ends?
