WHEN has the U.S. as a country strictly adhered to the Ten Commandments?
1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol
(Well, let's see, we're a nation of immigrants and not all immigrants are Christian. Plus, we have plenty of idols. We call them "celebrities.")
2. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God.
(Is it even possible to walk down the street without hearing someone "use the Lord's name in vain?")
3. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
(Considering that some business do open on Saturdays and Sundays, I'd say that one's ruled out.)
4. Honor thy Father and Mother
(Kip Kinkel would like to have a word with you from prison.)
5. Thou shalt not kill
(Well, you can't really go to war, which we have done on numerous occasions, and obey this at the same time. I don't care if you consider the enemy to be subhuman, it's still killing.)
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery
(Tell that to Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Rudy Giuliani, and the many other politicians who cheated on their spouses.)
7. Thou shalt not steal
(Tell that to the Native Americans.)
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
(Barry Bonds and George W. Bush ought to be deported, then! Lying in this great country of ours, for shame!)
9.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
(See #6.)
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.
(Or thy neighbor's country, but when has that ever stopped us?)
