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Quote# 31629

God is awesome.

He had me born into a family I love. Besides God and family, I like video games a lot. He had me born when video games just started to come out, so a lifetime training in them makes me a world class master in many games. He commissioned me as a messenger, and my task is easy compared to early Christian's persecutions.

I have a great life thanks to God. And the cool thing is that it only gets better in Heaven.

JamesSager3, Foru.ms 67 Comments [11/26/2007 7:44:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Jeremy PC
WTF?! || meh
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AnonymousAsshole

Alright, just a gawd-damned minute!

Do you actually believe that a supreme being, omniscient, omnipotent and all powerful gives fiddler's fuck if you can get to level 12 of some fucktarded video game.

That would be blasphemy.

11/26/2007 7:50:30 PM

protowhalepig

World class master?

World class twat more like.

11/26/2007 7:55:27 PM

Fanatic-Templar

Care to wager your eternal soul on a game of StarCraft?

Mwa ha ha ha ha!

11/26/2007 8:00:47 PM

Thundersqueaks

You're gods' special little guy.

11/26/2007 8:01:16 PM

Jake Steel

and do mommy and daddy know you are on the internet?

11/26/2007 8:06:15 PM

Seamus D

There's no PlayStation in heaven, young Sager.

11/26/2007 8:07:44 PM

Blackvoice

Sorry pal, there are no video games in Heaven, only angels and old people cussing at each other.

11/26/2007 8:08:16 PM

Marissa

Fanatic-Templar;

I don't actually have an immortal soul but if I could find my copy of Starcraft I'd be happy to wager it on a game anyway. =P


God sucks. He had me be born in England, where we get about 10% of the games America gets, and always the crap movie tie-ins or sports games. I want RPGs.

11/26/2007 8:09:01 PM

John

So Sager's theory is that God chooses each person before they're even conceived to be born to this or that family? How come people get born in Darfur refugee camps? Does God decide some immortal souls just piss Him off and He's going to stick them into the fetuses of half-starved rape victims so they can waste away and die within a few months?

11/26/2007 8:14:07 PM

JD

I'll see your so-called "mastery" and raise you a game of descent 2.

Talks big but probably one of those many that got ill trying to play the thing.

11/26/2007 8:25:19 PM

Sophie

There's a lot of things you could easily thnk God for. Being able to play video games is really... not one of them.

11/26/2007 8:31:30 PM

Doctor Whom

So your deity couldn't or wouldn't stop the Holocaust or famines, but he could arrange your birthdate so you could have video games? Isn't that special.

11/26/2007 8:31:48 PM

Jake Steel

@A Friend: 30? and he still writes like that?!

11/26/2007 9:18:11 PM

Osiris

So you're saying that if you were born even simply fourty years ago you would be depressed because you couldn't enjoy a recreation that didn't exist yet. This isn't fundie, just ignorant and I remember I used to think like this to a degree.

11/26/2007 9:30:08 PM

Mike

Correlation does not equal causation.

11/26/2007 9:41:45 PM

MK

Shallow faith. I find this even more disturbing and disgraceful than the deeply held faith of guys like Falwell.

11/26/2007 10:14:24 PM

Michael

Why don't you get off your fat fundie arse and go to, oh, maybe Darfur, maybe your inner city, or a thousand and one other places you could go to make a difference for your fellow man, instead of being a video game addicted ass-wipe?
?

11/26/2007 10:26:31 PM

approximate

You were dropped on your head as a baby, weren't you?

11/26/2007 10:31:53 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Sorry to break this to ya kid, but g0d is not the final Boss in your games. And remember, the mystical shit that the final boss tells you, is the same shit he tells everyone who plays the game.

RL...remember that? Oh yeah, you missed out on that. Well, do us all a favor and don't ever leave your momma's basement.

11/26/2007 11:26:23 PM

libkitten

Yeah, God hated everyone born before the video game generation.

11/26/2007 11:37:28 PM

cyborgtroy

God also had people lots of other people born when other major tech developments became huge.

Additionally, if video games didn't come out, do you really think God could have possibly want them?

11/26/2007 11:43:52 PM

Euclid

Uh, sorry kid, but video games have been around for more than 7 1/2 years.

Oh, and, wtf? Relevance, your Honor?

11/26/2007 11:55:29 PM

hmmm

Cocaine is a hell of a drug....and so is the fundie bullshit your parents spoonfed your ass!

11/26/2007 11:56:23 PM

Altair

And the cool thing is, if hell was real, by christian standards you'd be going there.

11/27/2007 12:31:12 AM

Julian

I hate to burst your bubble dood, but the stork had dementia and delivered you to the wrong house.

If anything, one could argue that if God had meddled in things, it wasn't that he loved you, but that he hated both your parents!

11/27/2007 1:37:20 AM
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