Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 31652

[in reply to the question of whether jesus was liberal or conservative]
Jesus is an omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent, intolerant, theocratic dictator.

Follow Him -for free- and you get everything you'll ever need.

Don't follow Him and you'll go to Hell.

Those are the choices, no middle ground, no compromise.

...and that's the way I like it!

DavidNR, rapture ready 46 Comments [11/27/2007 12:20:34 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
Highwayman

Your money or your life?

11/27/2007 12:22:07 PM

BurntBush

He's a dick. I'm goin' to hell.

11/27/2007 12:25:52 PM

Necronomikron

Umm, yeah... theocracies in which you must praise your leader are worse than hell. I'll take hell, thanks.

11/27/2007 12:40:43 PM

Saccharissa

Jesus an "intolerant, theocratic dictator"?

You must be reading a different version of the Bible than the one I have. The Jesus I've read about liked to hang around with sinners. He was more into suggestions and helpful guidance than bossing people around.

11/27/2007 12:49:49 PM

GigaGuess

Are we talking New Testament Jesus, or Jesus the Blue-Eyed, Gun-Totin', Bitch Smackin' Republican? I get those two mixed up so easily...

11/27/2007 12:56:11 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Jesus is an omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent, intolerant, theocratic dictator that only a fucking moron could follow. I'm sure he's at least a bit miffed that you're slinging his name around like that.

11/27/2007 12:58:19 PM

Blackvoice

benevolent, intolerant,

Eh?

11/27/2007 1:11:47 PM

Papabear

"Those are the choices, no middle ground, no compromise.

...and that's the way I like it!"

Yeah, I can imagine thinking is quite a burden for you.

11/27/2007 1:12:59 PM

Tiny Bulcher

Altogether now:

You'll get pie in the sky
When you die
(When you die)...

11/27/2007 1:26:45 PM

Mike

Follow the ways of the FSM and all of these idiots shall be stuck in a world of their worst nightmare: FREE-THINKING!

11/27/2007 1:28:33 PM

anti-nonsense

I'll take Hell then.

11/27/2007 1:33:12 PM



DavidNR, I have a lovely bridge I'd like to sell you.

11/27/2007 1:35:42 PM

John

The old "I'm a prick, so Jesus must have been one, too" theory.

11/27/2007 1:46:18 PM

Jim

That's like a diamond poem!

I love those poems!

But that doesn't stop you from being an ass; Jesus was certainly not intolerant.

11/27/2007 2:09:44 PM



How are you able to put together adjectives and nouns that don't match?(theocratic dictator, which country?, intolerant and benevolent?)

11/27/2007 2:15:37 PM

Jon

Look at that: it's that same either-or attitude that helps Christians disriminate against non-Christians and each other. No wonder there's no such thing as compromise anymore.

11/27/2007 2:32:29 PM

Michael

Shit, i thought for sure he was a conservative...

11/27/2007 2:34:25 PM

nemesis

In light of the recent release of "The Mist" I propose a "Mrs. Carmady award"

11/27/2007 2:35:18 PM

Osiris

No Jesus was a carpenter.

11/27/2007 2:44:18 PM

Old Viking

There's always some dipshit sitting in the catbird seat, and some other dipshit who thinks that's great.

11/27/2007 2:52:20 PM

NonProphet

That's because you're a damned idiot, DavidNR.

11/27/2007 3:03:58 PM

Allah

Jesus is a myth.
Hell is a myth.
DavidNR is an idiot.

11/27/2007 3:07:01 PM

Happymealungen

Hell plix

11/27/2007 3:08:28 PM

Faethyr

Hrm, this appears to be a definition of "like" that I am unfamiliar with. Please explain.

11/27/2007 4:08:35 PM

GigaGuess

@Faethyr

Look up "Schadenfreude" for a better definition.

11/27/2007 4:25:12 PM
1 2