Dude, God hates you, the DS sucks
11/27/2007 6:02:42 PM
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily. Forget that you're only 14 years old, there's nothing a whiskey colonic won't cure (including demons). I can say that I asked God for my virginity back and what do ya know! I can ask for unverifiable stuff too!
11/27/2007 6:06:34 PM
I just tried cursing the HS and nothing happened. Nothing at all.
Maybe you went "dead cold" because you believed you had done something horribly wrong, not because anything actually happened.
11/27/2007 6:07:50 PM
Why did God steal your cat and hide your video games in the first place? He sounds like a bit of a dick to me.
11/27/2007 6:07:53 PM
A missing cat and some video games next to the finishing sock under your bed. That's your sign from God?
11/27/2007 6:13:12 PM
your rebuking demons and you still live with your step brother wtf?!
what the heck kinda DS games do fundies play anyway?
11/27/2007 6:13:34 PM
You're on a roll, DevonR. The world's poor, deprived and starving can damn well wait till God has you squared away. (And even then they're not likely to get anything.)
11/27/2007 6:17:41 PM
Well, AMEN, BROTHER! Praise The LORD! GLORY! HALLELUJAH! Jesus brought your cat home, and he found your DS game! Praise Him!
Meanwhile, in the time it took you to write that sentence 30 children either died of curable diseases or malnutrition in Africa. Dozens of innocent men, women and children were killed in various wars.... Don't you thing your Jesus should be a little more concerned about THAT rather than finding your DS Game? Dumbass!
11/27/2007 6:24:51 PM
I think he's got an awesome quote right there ->
11/27/2007 6:30:08 PM
So while jebus made your cat come back and your DS games appear, magically... a family in Darfur grieves the loss of another child, the victim of starvation. Gotta love the priorities of that worthless messiah of yours.
11/27/2007 6:58:09 PM
Yes...a cat and a DS proves that the invisible sky pimp loves you
11/27/2007 7:03:08 PM
I wonder if he's met James Sager?
I wonder if they should be introduced.
11/27/2007 7:09:23 PM
Correlation does not equal causation.
11/27/2007 7:27:08 PM
The miracles of mundanity.
11/27/2007 7:27:57 PM
I once asked satan for magic powers. He just hung up on me!
11/27/2007 7:55:14 PM
@Cabal: I must defend the DS. It is a most wonderful system.
11/27/2007 8:01:28 PM
Originally posted by Cabal
Dude, God hates you, the DS sucks
A far more evil and wicked fundie has insinuated itself onto this website.
I AM MAKING THE ANGRIEST FACE!!!
11/27/2007 8:39:37 PM
God has a plan for your life, DevonR. It's called Klonopin.
11/27/2007 8:41:14 PM
God's really always been about the little things in life. Restoring your faith by giving you back your cat and video games seems like such a valid use of his power, doesn't it?
11/27/2007 8:48:17 PM
I think you had an aneurism.
11/27/2007 9:00:37 PM
You lied. That story wasn't at all interesting.
11/27/2007 9:17:35 PM
Random things are scary! Other random things happened, so praise God!
11/27/2007 10:15:22 PM
Your mind started cursing by itself without any prompting by you? So what, do you have some sort of strange, undocumented form of Tourette's Syndrome? Or do you just have no control over what you think?
Either way, you don't have anything to worry about. I heard that God is a bit more lenient with the mentally ill.
11/27/2007 10:18:18 PM
Sorry, Devon, but it was teh DEBBOL!!! that brought back your cat and games. He did it to lul(z) you into a false sense of security.
YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!
11/28/2007 12:56:57 AM
"my mind starting cursing by itself at the holy spirit,.."
sorry honey, your mind is you, it doesn't do things by itself, so the only demon involved is you.
11/28/2007 1:26:09 AM