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Who knew the internet reached into other dimensions?
11/29/2007 6:05:56 AM
So devils are now like the Borg? Assimilation for Satan?
11/29/2007 6:15:44 AM
Who knows what dark and twisted thoughts lurk in brains of fundamentalists? Thoughts only kept in check by the imaginary puppet master in the sky.
11/29/2007 6:16:56 AM
Smile, Satan loves you!
So does that mean that those of us without children are still good to look at porn?
Also, you describe it as a "two-way link with the spiritual underworld". That must mean that I too can gleefully rush into the bedrooms of the devil's children and assault their souls and bodies. Sounds like fun
11/29/2007 6:17:25 AM
The cable provider where I live (which has a monopoly franchise from the city) can't always give me a two-way link to servers that exist in this universe. Maybe we should let those devils of yours manage it instead.
11/29/2007 6:19:08 AM
Question: Why is it that only fundies can get possessed?
Why do these things never happen to atheists?
11/29/2007 6:20:00 AM
Good grief, back in the old days you people just made do with the simple "hairy palms and blindness" threats. Granted, they didn't work either, but simply escalating the alleged punishment, while still not giving any rational reason why masturbation or porn may be immoral, isn't going to improve the situation.
11/29/2007 6:41:45 AM
You would think that with the wealth of porn on the Internet, someone would have noticed by now???
11/29/2007 6:46:39 AM
which particular reality does this tosser live in?!
11/29/2007 6:49:52 AM
When you tune in to electronic pornography you have established a two-way link with the spiritual underworld.
That sounds more fun than than most of the other ways I've heard of :)
11/29/2007 7:02:08 AM
The only way I've ever been able to rationalize their paranoia of demons and devils is that the Devil must simply be way more powerful than I previously believed and that God is simply not omnipotent or omniscient.
If God wants us to have freewill and is opposed to forcing us to be good people than he must be equally opposed to the devil doing the opposite and lead us away from good. Why would God put up with this? Either he can't track the devil and see what he's up to at all times, or he simply is not powerful enough to stop him.
Maybe I'm thinking too much about this, maybe they're just crazy.
11/29/2007 7:21:45 AM
Boy am I glad I don't have kids!
11/29/2007 7:26:02 AM
So... porn => demons => telepathic messages to your kids?
What new brand of crazy is this??
11/29/2007 7:44:47 AM
It could be that they suffer from peridonitis or have flu, don't you think?
11/29/2007 7:47:57 AM
Metaphor Salad, served up in a tinfoil hat.
11/29/2007 8:16:09 AM
Have no kid, have no plans to have any soon either.
11/29/2007 8:31:19 AM
@Vincent: Why, because demons attack Christians to torment them and lead them away from God. Nonbelievers have already been led astray by more subtle demonic approaches such as the teaching of evolution. Silly you!
11/29/2007 8:32:02 AM
Imagine the nightmares in that house!
Most kids wake up afraid, go to their parents, and are told that it's only a dream.
In Michael's house: "What, you had a nightmare? Teh demonz are inside you! Did they rape you yet? Well, there going to! They're going to kidnap you right down to hell, and Satan is going to butt plug you unless you stay off those damn internets"
11/29/2007 8:36:35 AM
Michael (Not Michael pearl)
The Stupid is Strong in this one...
11/29/2007 9:02:47 AM
BTW.... I knew there was a reason I kept my old magazine collection. It's not electronic. it's paper. That makes it OK according to the fundie logic here
11/29/2007 9:03:55 AM
Mister Spak wrote: "Who knew the internet reached into other dimensions?"
Hey, it was invented by Al Gore, what did you expect?
11/29/2007 9:09:35 AM
Mike Pearl has a thing about porn.
11/29/2007 9:15:40 AM
It's funny. Why electronic pornography?, does it mean that if he reads it in a paper this telepathic stuff doesn't get to the children?, WTF?
11/29/2007 9:37:36 AM
Non-Sequitur Slope - Caution! - Very Slippery!
11/29/2007 9:42:02 AM
Stop masturbating or Satan will kill this kitten.
11/29/2007 9:57:00 AM
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