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#347215
Mister Spak
Who knew the internet reached into other dimensions?
11/29/2007 6:05:56 AM
#347229
anevilmeme
So devils are now like the Borg? Assimilation for Satan?
11/29/2007 6:15:44 AM
#347233
Prager
Who knows what dark and twisted thoughts lurk in brains of fundamentalists? Thoughts only kept in check by the imaginary puppet master in the sky.
11/29/2007 6:16:56 AM
#347234
Smile, Satan loves you!
So does that mean that those of us without children are still good to look at porn?
Also, you describe it as a "two-way link with the spiritual underworld". That must mean that I too can gleefully rush into the bedrooms of the devil's children and assault their souls and bodies. Sounds like fun
11/29/2007 6:17:25 AM
#347236
Doctor Whom
The cable provider where I live (which has a monopoly franchise from the city) can't always give me a two-way link to servers that exist in this universe. Maybe we should let those devils of yours manage it instead.
11/29/2007 6:19:08 AM
#347239
Vincent
What.....The....Fuck !?
Question: Why is it that only fundies can get possessed?
Why do these things never happen to atheists?
11/29/2007 6:20:00 AM
#347261
Good grief, back in the old days you people just made do with the simple "hairy palms and blindness" threats. Granted, they didn't work either, but simply escalating the alleged punishment, while still not giving any rational reason why masturbation or porn may be immoral, isn't going to improve the situation.
11/29/2007 6:41:45 AM
#347263
Freboy
You would think that with the wealth of porn on the Internet, someone would have noticed by now???
11/29/2007 6:46:39 AM
#347264
apYrs
which particular reality does this tosser live in?!
11/29/2007 6:49:52 AM
#347265
Mr Smith
When you tune in to electronic pornography you have established a two-way link with the spiritual underworld.
That sounds more fun than than most of the other ways I've heard of :)
11/29/2007 7:02:08 AM
#347272
Jonathan
The only way I've ever been able to rationalize their paranoia of demons and devils is that the Devil must simply be way more powerful than I previously believed and that God is simply not omnipotent or omniscient.
If God wants us to have freewill and is opposed to forcing us to be good people than he must be equally opposed to the devil doing the opposite and lead us away from good. Why would God put up with this? Either he can't track the devil and see what he's up to at all times, or he simply is not powerful enough to stop him.
Maybe I'm thinking too much about this, maybe they're just crazy.
11/29/2007 7:21:45 AM
#347277
LabRat
Boy am I glad I don't have kids!
11/29/2007 7:26:02 AM
#347289
NonProphet
So... porn => demons => telepathic messages to your kids?
What new brand of crazy is this??
11/29/2007 7:44:47 AM
#347292
It could be that they suffer from peridonitis or have flu, don't you think?
11/29/2007 7:47:57 AM
#347303
Caustic Gnostic
Metaphor Salad, served up in a tinfoil hat.
11/29/2007 8:16:09 AM
#347309
Jake Steel
Have no kid, have no plans to have any soon either.
11/29/2007 8:31:19 AM
#347310
@Vincent: Why, because demons attack Christians to torment them and lead them away from God. Nonbelievers have already been led astray by more subtle demonic approaches such as the teaching of evolution. Silly you!
11/29/2007 8:32:02 AM
#347312
JasoNF
Imagine the nightmares in that house!
Most kids wake up afraid, go to their parents, and are told that it's only a dream.
In Michael's house: "What, you had a nightmare? Teh demonz are inside you! Did they rape you yet? Well, there going to! They're going to kidnap you right down to hell, and Satan is going to butt plug you unless you stay off those damn internets"
11/29/2007 8:36:35 AM
#347320
Michael (Not Michael pearl)
The Stupid is Strong in this one...
11/29/2007 9:02:47 AM
#347322
Michael
BTW.... I knew there was a reason I kept my old magazine collection. It's not electronic. it's paper. That makes it OK according to the fundie logic here
11/29/2007 9:03:55 AM
#347327
David B.
Mister Spak wrote: "Who knew the internet reached into other dimensions?"
Hey, it was invented by Al Gore, what did you expect?
11/29/2007 9:09:35 AM
#347330
Mike Pearl has a thing about porn.
11/29/2007 9:15:40 AM
#347344
It's funny. Why electronic pornography?, does it mean that if he reads it in a paper this telepathic stuff doesn't get to the children?, WTF?
11/29/2007 9:37:36 AM
#347347
cyborgtroy
Non-Sequitur Slope - Caution! - Very Slippery!
11/29/2007 9:42:02 AM
#347363
JustinGG
Stop masturbating or Satan will kill this kitten.
11/29/2007 9:57:00 AM
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