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Quote# 31730

...The paitings of Jesus with long hair wearing a dress is folly and blasphemy!! That is man's way of attempting to bring Jesus down to an effeminate level. But the bride of Jesus will not allow it! Jesus did NOT have long hair nor did He flaunt around in a dress!!! He was the epitomy of a strong male, full of POWER!!

mossboy4, Youtube 68 Comments [11/29/2007 8:22:31 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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#347718
AnonymousAsshole

I will watch this post for the mayhem and hilarity that are sure to follow the big, buff Jesus image you just created. Sweet!

11/29/2007 8:24:25 PM
#347724
Jamie

Rambo Jesus?

11/29/2007 8:30:25 PM
#347729
aqualung

Huh? Who is this bride of Jesus you speak of? Mary Magdeline?

11/29/2007 8:32:28 PM
#347730
MK

This is true. Jesus actually suffered from male pattern baldness, and usually preferred spanky pants instead of dresses.


(How quickly can I go to hell for that?)

11/29/2007 8:33:28 PM
#347731
aqualung

AnonymousAsshole: here's one!



aw, still got long hair though, I guess it doesn't count? XD

11/29/2007 8:33:51 PM
#347735
Norb Bippus

By dress you must mean robe, and in that case if he didn't wear a robe, he would have been walking around naked. There wasn't exactly alot of other options back then.

mossboy4 just wants to imagine a body builder, crew cut, naked jesus.

11/29/2007 8:36:21 PM
#347745
DoctorFunkopolis

So, did he have JesusPants? We don't often get to put the words 'Jesus' and 'Pants' together. I find JesusPants quite satisfying. I think I'll use it when I swear.

11/29/2007 8:44:05 PM
#347752
Borborygmus

Most people seem to think that his portrait was painted from life and that he sat for an artist named Walter Sallman in 1940. How else would the faithful know what he looked like in a cheese sandwich?

11/29/2007 8:48:10 PM
#347763
Jesus

Ah am Jesus, and ah will pump (clap) you up!

11/29/2007 8:53:56 PM
#347766
Andrew

I'm willing to bet it took mossboy a while to write this comment out. After all, it's quite difficult to type with just your left hand. Especially while your right is moving up and down so furiously that it causes the keyboard to shake.

11/29/2007 8:59:14 PM
#347772
Viva

Sounds like you're a little insecure about you masculinity.

11/29/2007 9:04:51 PM
#347779
Caustic Gnostic

Robe, not dress. Don't know what they used for underclothing back in the day.

JC may well have had short hair in Roman (for all practical purposes, Hellenic) fashion.

He wasn't a bodybuilder. Probably had the musculature appropriate to his trade and lifestyle.


11/29/2007 9:10:07 PM
#347787
tracer

aqualung wrote:

"Huh? Who is this bride of Jesus you speak of? Mary Magdeline?"


The "bride" of Christ, as used by Christians, refers to the Christian church taken collectively.

In other words, mossboy4 is saying that he, and all other Christians -- male and female alike -- are "brides."

But he's not effeminate, nosirree!

11/29/2007 9:16:47 PM
#347792
Nick

Ah Youtube. Next to Myspace, is the spawning pool for idiots.

To put it bluntly, that was the typical man's style. Simple as that.

11/29/2007 9:21:08 PM
#347793
Random Guy

Um, most guys in that place and time wore robes. It would be pretty hard to find anyone wearing pants in first century Israel.

11/29/2007 9:21:09 PM
#347796
Mike

How do you know? Were you his barber?

11/29/2007 9:22:51 PM
#347808
Rhys

@Jamie: It wouldn't work. Rambo had long hair too. Maybe Terminator Jeebus?

11/29/2007 9:27:38 PM
#347810
TB Tabby

I think this is a Poe.

11/29/2007 9:28:20 PM
#347828
Osiris

This reminds me of Passion of the Christ 2 from Family Guy.

11/29/2007 9:50:48 PM
#347890


DoctorFunkopolis
JesusPants ! haha
Where can I get a pair of those?

11/29/2007 10:44:38 PM
#347898
cool cats

Something tells me that if he went to a museum displaying renaissance art he would have a stroke.

And The Sun King era would outright kill him.


11/29/2007 10:55:38 PM
#347908
Jon

That's a robe, not a dress, you ninny.

11/29/2007 11:14:05 PM
#347941
Julian

MossboyJesus!


11/29/2007 11:42:59 PM
#347945
cool cats

Gay for Jesus Award?

11/29/2007 11:47:58 PM
#347977


Sorry that the male cannon 2000 years ago doesn't match your stereotypes, man.

11/30/2007 12:52:14 AM
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