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Quote# 31730

...The paitings of Jesus with long hair wearing a dress is folly and blasphemy!! That is man's way of attempting to bring Jesus down to an effeminate level. But the bride of Jesus will not allow it! Jesus did NOT have long hair nor did He flaunt around in a dress!!! He was the epitomy of a strong male, full of POWER!!

mossboy4, Youtube 69 Comments [11/29/2007 8:22:31 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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AnonymousAsshole

I will watch this post for the mayhem and hilarity that are sure to follow the big, buff Jesus image you just created. Sweet!

11/29/2007 8:24:25 PM

Jamie

Rambo Jesus?

11/29/2007 8:30:25 PM

aqualung

Huh? Who is this bride of Jesus you speak of? Mary Magdeline?

11/29/2007 8:32:28 PM

MK

This is true. Jesus actually suffered from male pattern baldness, and usually preferred spanky pants instead of dresses.


(How quickly can I go to hell for that?)

11/29/2007 8:33:28 PM

aqualung

AnonymousAsshole: here's one!



aw, still got long hair though, I guess it doesn't count? XD

11/29/2007 8:33:51 PM

Norb Bippus

By dress you must mean robe, and in that case if he didn't wear a robe, he would have been walking around naked. There wasn't exactly alot of other options back then.

mossboy4 just wants to imagine a body builder, crew cut, naked jesus.

11/29/2007 8:36:21 PM

DoctorFunkopolis

So, did he have JesusPants? We don't often get to put the words 'Jesus' and 'Pants' together. I find JesusPants quite satisfying. I think I'll use it when I swear.

11/29/2007 8:44:05 PM

Borborygmus

Most people seem to think that his portrait was painted from life and that he sat for an artist named Walter Sallman in 1940. How else would the faithful know what he looked like in a cheese sandwich?

11/29/2007 8:48:10 PM

Jesus

Ah am Jesus, and ah will pump (clap) you up!

11/29/2007 8:53:56 PM

Andrew

I'm willing to bet it took mossboy a while to write this comment out. After all, it's quite difficult to type with just your left hand. Especially while your right is moving up and down so furiously that it causes the keyboard to shake.

11/29/2007 8:59:14 PM

Viva

Sounds like you're a little insecure about you masculinity.

11/29/2007 9:04:51 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Robe, not dress. Don't know what they used for underclothing back in the day.

JC may well have had short hair in Roman (for all practical purposes, Hellenic) fashion.

He wasn't a bodybuilder. Probably had the musculature appropriate to his trade and lifestyle.


11/29/2007 9:10:07 PM

tracer

aqualung wrote:

"Huh? Who is this bride of Jesus you speak of? Mary Magdeline?"


The "bride" of Christ, as used by Christians, refers to the Christian church taken collectively.

In other words, mossboy4 is saying that he, and all other Christians -- male and female alike -- are "brides."

But he's not effeminate, nosirree!

11/29/2007 9:16:47 PM

Nick

Ah Youtube. Next to Myspace, is the spawning pool for idiots.

To put it bluntly, that was the typical man's style. Simple as that.

11/29/2007 9:21:08 PM

Random Guy

Um, most guys in that place and time wore robes. It would be pretty hard to find anyone wearing pants in first century Israel.

11/29/2007 9:21:09 PM

Mike

How do you know? Were you his barber?

11/29/2007 9:22:51 PM

Rhys

@Jamie: It wouldn't work. Rambo had long hair too. Maybe Terminator Jeebus?

11/29/2007 9:27:38 PM

TB Tabby

I think this is a Poe.

11/29/2007 9:28:20 PM

Osiris

This reminds me of Passion of the Christ 2 from Family Guy.

11/29/2007 9:50:48 PM



DoctorFunkopolis
JesusPants ! haha
Where can I get a pair of those?

11/29/2007 10:44:38 PM

cool cats

Something tells me that if he went to a museum displaying renaissance art he would have a stroke.

And The Sun King era would outright kill him.


11/29/2007 10:55:38 PM

Jon

That's a robe, not a dress, you ninny.

11/29/2007 11:14:05 PM

Julian

MossboyJesus!


11/29/2007 11:42:59 PM

cool cats

Gay for Jesus Award?

11/29/2007 11:47:58 PM



Sorry that the male cannon 2000 years ago doesn't match your stereotypes, man.

11/30/2007 12:52:14 AM
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