Is there a way that I can become pregnant without having sex like Mary?
I want to conceive in the most Christian way possible and I do not want create a baby in a sinful fashion by having sex.
82 comments
Yep, Donna, I could cornhole you, then you could let the emission dribble into your vagina, and with repeated attempts, you could eventually be impregnated and still retain your vaginal virginity.
Considering how painful sex can be if you don't know what you're doing the first time, and how painful childbirth is...
You want to combine that?
What, you're afraid you might enjoy it?
EDIT: Oh, she's a "Landover Baptist" member? Ah, never mind, obvious Poe. But she had me going there!
... ya know, in those days, sex was pretty much a requirement to be considered married.
That little girl had herself a husband.
But hey, don't let silly little facts get in the way.
Let your boyfriend jizz in your shoes, and then let the flies do the rest? Sorry, even though it's an obvious poe, I couldn't resist sharing my knowledge. The spirit moves within me.
Invitro fertilization, but you're a fundie so that doesn't exist in your world.
Sex is cool, sex is neat, sex makes fundies piss on the toilet seat.
Poe, but I still have to say this.
Y'know that turkey baster that you got for your wedding shower? The one in the bottom drawer, that you never use? Well guess what, you're finally going to have an excuse to dust it off.
Yes, in vitro. The same way lesbians do it.
Ah, Landover Baptist. Home of the Poe. But Rotty is kind and will repeat advice anyway.
Leaving aside the ridiculous query about Christian sex (missionary position wasn't invented by Jews, y'know), MARY WAS A F*CKING VIRGIN!
F*cking and virgin are somewhat exclusive terms, but my message remains.
This is a Poe, but it does remind me of the Artificial Insemination scene from Pink Flamingoes....
"Oh my God, what are you doing!!!! Why are you doing that right in front of me!!?? Stop it, you asshole, stop it! Oh, how vile can you be!!??"
i think the only way that can happen is if you actually are the virgin Mary, meaning that it will never happen again.
but there is also adoption, but that means you won't get pregnant like you want. or there's in-vitro fertilization.
What she says to her chosen "best answer", who asks to be adopted:
"Consider yourself adopted and <b>now you, like me are one of the special chosen ones of God!</b>"
A) God Made Sex, Thus not a sin
B) Sex is NOT just for reprodcution. It is for social and interpersonal conection
C) Artifical insemination...idiot...
Also, first post on the forum :D
"Is there a way that I can become pregnant without having sex like Mary?
I want to conceive in the most Christian way possible and I do not want create a baby in a sinful fashion by having sex."
image
image
>:D
And this just has to be seen to be believed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h7T4FRpMEA
Let's Ask Donna if the harmonica can be played by a woman using her...
(*is shot *)
X3
Don't knock it til you've tried it, dearie.
There are ways, yes, if your country allows sperm donations to single women. Many countries don't, as they are "afraid" that lesbians are going to use it. However, the Bible doesn't mention donations, or IVFs, so I guess this is not a Christian way...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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