First, I'll bet Ted Bundy ate bread and then later he ate carrots and then he murdered some girls. Therefore, bread and carrots are evil and should be banned.
Second, the best studies show that essentailly any male human who *can* masturbate *does* masturbate.
Third, it might not have taken you 7 years to shake the DIY habit if you had taken Jesus' advice. You know, cut off your hand if it offends you.
Imagine a world full of handless Xian men.
2/23/2006 11:30:33 PM
Yep, the son of sam killer started listening to his neighbor's dog before he started killing folks, let's ban all dogs!
I understand how exciting it is to be a 'babe in christ' or whatever they are calling the new suckers in church these days, but c'mon, do you think that having a belief in jesus makes everything that you say suddenly make sense?
they used to (probably still do) call pot the 'gateway drug' because most hard drug users have also used pot. but they also used cigarettes and beer but nobody calls them gateway drugs. but apparantly jah's links jerkin' it with a murder spree. okay.....
Look, roughly three billion men do it al least once a day. THere are not three billion serial killers. It is not something that needs to be 'defeated' because there is nothing wrong with it. (unless you're doing it at half court during the big game) Besides, how do you know christ didn't polish the one-eyed weasel once in a while? Oh right, because he had groupies. I forgot.
7/5/2006 11:26:23 AM
Papabear, have you seen this?
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!
Research on bread indicates that:
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called \"dough.\" It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a \"gateway\" food item, leading the user to \"harder\" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide \"Just Say No To Toast\" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of \"Bread-free\" zones around schools.
7/6/2006 3:17:47 AM
7/6/2006 3:20:34 AM
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7/27/2006 11:23:37 AM
They did a survey where 99% of all men admitted to masturbating. The other 1% didn't take the survey because they were busy masturbating...
12/6/2006 7:39:06 AM
I actually feel sorry for the fucknuts who torture themselves about masturbating.
12/6/2006 1:35:53 PM
This guy needs a life.
1/29/2008 12:03:53 AM
Know what else? I bet Bundy spoke English. Wait, after doing some through research, so did Son of Sam, Manson, the unibomber, Dahmer (spelling?), and most members of the ACLU. Maybe it's not masturbation that's the problem. Maybe it's the English language?
1/29/2008 9:47:32 AM
"this is not something that is natural"
Someone break the news to my chinchilla. He's blowing himself right now.
2/3/2008 5:45:49 PM
Any man who says he doesn't masturbate is a liar.
And that goes for most women, too.
2/3/2008 5:46:41 PM
You know how you can tell a rapist?
When rapists are really young, they were BABIES!!
2/15/2008 4:23:15 PM
If it provides any pleasure at all it must be evil. Don't you know this by now?
2/15/2008 4:38:29 PM
yeah, everybody goes and kills hookers after they jerk off
4/21/2009 4:49:00 PM
The old "gateway" story. Like alcohol or marijuana are "gateways" to cocaine and heroin. Of course, they don't tell you that nearly everyone drinks before they're 21 and many try pot. You don't hear about all those who tried those gateway drgs and never did coke or smack. Likewise, you never hear about the millions who jerked off, and never became a sex offender, or serial killer.
4/21/2009 5:53:48 PM
Beer leads to heroin. In fact, mother's milk leads to everything.
_________________thanks to George Carlin
4/21/2009 8:49:23 PM
Drinking water is the beginning of other problems- take for instance Ted Bundy: he confessed to beginning by drinking water, and then killing young girls and doing ungodly things to their bodies after he killed them. This is not something that is natural. No matter how much some of you talk about how much you enjoy it it's not worth the consequences. I was addicted to it for 15 years, and through Christ I was set free from it. There is hope- it is not something that cannot be defeated. I know how hopeless some of you feel: that you can't get out of it. The water drive is only second to food, so it is not easy and can't be done on your own, but through Christ it is possible. I am a perfect example of it.
8/30/2009 8:16:38 PM
I wonder what they think about women masturbating. Oh, right, I forgot...it's like lesbians, it doesn't exist.
8/31/2009 3:25:14 AM
So tell me:
in the 7 years that you masturbated, did you ever kill anybody?
9/18/2011 2:56:34 PM