My pastor explains it this way: God is omnipresent and knows everything beforehand. Satan can only be in one place at a time and therefore uses his demons in sort of a relay fashion. The demons don't know BEFOREhand what we are going to do or what we are thinking, but after the fact, they can relay messages to satan within nanoseconds.
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I spread myself pretty thin. I do a fair impression of being in 2 places at once - and am making progress towards 3. Pretty sure The Master can do it better than I, if he chooses.
Who in Hell wants to read a Fundie's mind, anyway?
I hope your pastor has devoted as much thinking to his answer as he does to bilking his congregation.
If Satan is limited in space and time, why is your god (omnipresent, omniscient, almighty) so threatened by him? Despite using all the gaming cheats available, why is your god on the defensive?
Why does Satan have to use his demons in relay fashion when they can zip messages to him in nanoseconds? He could construct a web whereby triggers can be placed...oh, never mind.
Because, of course Evil can never quite be as good as Good at being completely ridiculous.
@Illuminatalie: Gnostic or Mesopotamian?
@tracer
That's more true than you may thing. As I've said many times: In the 6th century BC, Hebrew tradition (including the OT) held that 'the satan' was an angel sent by God specifically for the purpose of obstructing human activity - the rationale being that if the path is bad, the obstruction is good.
This does seem to confirm that a satan can only be in one place at one time, but does raise the question: if God is omnipresent, why did he have to send a satan to do it?
Nanoseconds? Hell must have one awesome IT department, anyone know what kind of routers Satans using?
Come to think of it, I've always wondered why the freeBSD logo was a demon.....
According to the belief system, God knows everything beforehand, is omnipotent/omnipresent, and will win in the end anyway. Satan only knows what others tell him, is stuck in one spot for the most part, and is predestined to lose.
So it's not really that Satan is an adversary; it's that God is like a kid who cheats at video games just so he can laugh at his little brother's constant losing streak, and then bullies everyone who didn't join in the humiliation of the loser.
Congratulations, you worship an invisible 12-year-old bully.
Buffy the vampire slayer and all that other teenage demon TV is make believe. Like your faith and Pastor, its all made up. You should get an education then you wouldn't be scared of everything around you. You wont have to attribute everything to spirits and demons, and you might even get a life, who knows
@NonProphet
Yeah! It's like, "Oh, goodie, you won against the devil in something that you knew would have a favorable outcome. What, you want a gold star, Blood God?"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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